[Tracey S]

Morning Heidi

Thanks very much for your reply. Yes very blunt but something I have asked myself many times.

I have to say tho that he is not ALWAYS verbally abusive – he can be very nice. Maybe it is because he is hurt and stressed himself – but I must say I don’t get verbal. He always says he is just talking the truth – but I always say that sometimes you just don’t have to tell the truth if you know it will hurt the other person. I do sometimes think he knows that he is being a horrible person and that is why he needs to validate himself rather and make me feel smaller.

I do believe deep down that there is a way to fix this – there must be a way that I can not take some of the things he says so personally and also use words that will trigger his emotions and realise that he has said the wrong things?

There must be a way to “remove yourself from the verbal abuse” and not remove yourself from the marriage?

Thanks again for your help – it is so great to be able to air my thoughts with someone.
Cheers
Tracey

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