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What would be the new story you would want to connect to? What story would you want to teach your own child? How people behave with you – says about THEM. Not about you. About you is the choice to accept them in your life or not. You are the most important person in your life. Think if are they good enough to be around you or not. Because YOU are enough and will always be. You are nit just enough. You are most inportant
Do you really think regret and judgement is what is going to help you heal? It’s not something I can control. Is just the way I feel. Guilt for my own sufferings.
Yes. It makes sense. And thank you that you showed me another side of this. I was wondering why if I feel strong and I don’t need him even if he comes here to beg, so why I am still miserable? Because I blame myself for the fact that he did hurt me. Like , I let him. That’s why he did it.
I don’t have a bad mom. She did and does for me a lot. She is helping me all the time. She is here for me whenever I need she will sacrifice and give everything for me to be healthy and find. But.. not emotionally. Emotionally I am blamed for everything. For all the bad in this world. Unlike my brother, he is ok and get her support, always. Even for my divorce, is me to blame. Even for the tumors I have etc
No problem, Roxana! Thank you for explanation, now that makes sense. I couldn’t understand why you were giving me advices how to get close to him😁
This story didn’t make any good to me.
Now I am strong as I was before. Confident as I was before I met him.
I regret the time and effort and other sacrifices I did to keep this relationship. I shouldn’t
I only think I d better understand I should leave before. Not waiting so long. Not fighting so long for.. nothing. Because this guy can offer me nothing from what i am looking for.
I am strong now. I feel strong. I feel power and Now my mood doesn’t depend on anyone actions. And now I really do not care why this guy said this or did that.
Regarding my health issues Thank you for asking. I will go through a surgery to remove tumors. In 5 days I will know if it’s cancer or not 🙏🏼
I tried to build positive reinforcement. Also to make him my hero. But it’s not relevant.
Maybe i am wrong, but I think that a woman would still be interested in a man after he behaves like he did – only if she is mentally sick.
I regret I was fighting for someone like this. But it’s a lesson. Anyways I don’t want to ever speak again to this man and I really hope I’ll never meet him again
Hello 🤗thank you a lot for advises but i never would like to talk again to this guy pr a guy like this. If you read my last messages about how it ended and about all mean things he told me on my birthday woth no reason , you would understand i think.
But Why would you advice to any woman to stay in contact and try to get close with this kind of man? For me is hard to understand
Hello! Thank you for everything.
I have 2 tumors on my neck so i am busy now with that. Waiting for biopsy results and getting ready for surgery so i delayed a bit issue with the therapist.
Anyways i am aware that i need one
Before the last time he came i had huge red flags. I knew I should NOT, at least, have sex with him. Then he came and what happened? I just did anything he wanted. I knew it’s wrong. I didn’t even want. I just felt that I MUST please him
I don’t want him back, dear Heidi. I just feel stupid, i feel idiot that i let him play me. That makes me feel bad and frustrated. This is what is my pain about.
you are more than willing to step back into a relationship with a guy who is critical of you.
Dear Heidi, I think you didn’t see one my message that I sent few days ago where i say about my horrible covid experience and then how he called at my birthday and said that we would be together MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE. That he thought my pluses will cover my misuses but it didn’t happen. Minuses = that i am skinny with small breast.
I cried one day because i had expectations. Because I understood that the person i painted in my head and this guy are 2 different people. I’m wonded but I’m not an idiot. Who would like to stay with a guy with such mindset? Not me. That conversation opened my eyes.
Thanks a lot for recommendations regarding psichologysts!! That’s what i am gonna do🙏🏼
When the memories pop up.. how to stop feeling that i m responsible for break up and even for his mean words? How to stop feeling that i was just not good enough ? What to tell myself to comfort the anxiety?
Heidi I know i am not emotional healthy. I know. I know in every relationship I sabotage myself in every!!!! Mattered only how he feels around me, how i make him feel and that he wants to keep that relationship. Only this mattered always. Of course it’s stupid and i want to change it.
But i am afraid to go to therapist. I am afraid that he will not understand or will criticize me and i will leave more down than i am now
Memories regarding my last one still pop up in mind. And when it happen – i am analizing over and over , without wanting it – what did i do wrong? What my heart is telling me is that if I would do anything differently- it would turn into a beautiful relationship
Of course it makes sense. Al my men didn’t treat me with respect, all of them were divorced with a child, all of them were not willing to invest. Willing to get? Yes. To invest? No.
You know… when i met this guy. He told me his story, that he was married for 10 years and then she left him with daughter and left to another man and made another child. He told me how much he suffer and how he can’t stop hating her.
In that moment I understand that regardless what happen – it will be very very hard for me to leave him. So i just sabotaged myself. Why could it be?
