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We met online in late 2019. We went on a couple dates back then but I really wasn’t interested at the time. Later that year we both ended up in serious relationships that both ended right around the same time (end of last year). We reconnected in person at an event the end of March and have been talking/texting since and started spending a LOT of time together a week later. I stay at his place a lot, he’d come to mine but I’m in the process of renovating so it’s easier for me to go to him. Sometimes I spend the whole weekend with him and go to work from his place. The last time I stayed, he bought me a pack of the drinks I like.
I would love to be able to start fresh without having that loom over my head. How can I work to get over these issues? He’s never done anything to me since we actually started dating.
What I found out happened the same time we reconnected (night before, night of, and night after). I found out a week ago after we’d been dating for 2 months. Yes he was single then and still is, I just find it tacky and disrespectful that he did it.
I do feel physically safe with him, more so than I have with anyone else. I have no question that he’d protect me from physical harm. I actually feel so safe and comfortable with him that I’m able to let my feminine side and energy out. It’s my trust issues that I’m having problems with being able to trust him emotionally. When he’s in a relationship with someone, he’s faithful. It’s when he’s single that he’s busier than a hooker on nickel night.
He does realize he has a problem, he said he’s never cared before. But whether he knows exactly what those issues are or not, I don’t know. I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt because I think we’re a good fit for each other. I do know that trying to change habits doesn’t happen overnight.
I do see the irony. Unfortunately it wouldn’t be my first time being with someone that had a ‘colorful’ past. I do think that people can change when they know the issue(s) and truly want to.
