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Thankyou Heidi and marry christmas,
It was nice to read your advices. I started already a new sport/ hobby – I started with climbing and that’s cool.
Today my Ex wrote me from his side marry chrismas and a happy new year.I answer him short but nice and also said that I am curious when my present will reach him. He answered that he hope to find it when he is back next monday. I wished him a good vacation and ask him if he is with his daughter. And he answer back that he is with his small princess (the daughter). I didn’t answer further because there was no question and I will see what and if he will write when he got the present. Or?
It’s not a big deal but it is nice that he wrotes me for Christmas. But maybe it is kind of a good sign because in that days he is really rare on WhatsApp. Yesterday not at all and today just to write me.
And compare to our silence after the separation it’s good.
What do you think?
Kind regard
SophieThankyou Heidi and marry christmas,
It was nice to read your advices. I started already a new sport/ hobby – I started with climbing and that’s cool.
Today my Ex wrote me from his side marry chrismas and a happy new year.I answer him short but nice and also said that I am curious when my present will reach him. He answered that he hope to find it when he is back next monday. I wished him a good vacation and ask him if he is with his daughter. And he answer back that he is with his small princess (the daughter). I didn’t answer further because there was no question and I will see what and if he will write when he got the present. Or?
It’s not a big deal but it is nice that he wrotes me for Christmas. But maybe it is kind of a good sign because in that days he is really rare on WhatsApp. Yesterday not at all and today just to write me.
And compare to our silence after the separation it’s good.
What do you think?
Kind regard
SophieThankyou Heidi,
I have the same feeling like you.
The flight-ticket was quite cheap and I would spend more in a Hotel. And it is winter so really not the good time for Malta. Not so joyful for be there alone.
I also think if you are in such a difficult situation like he is Christmas Time and New Year kind of make you more depressed. Just a couple of days later I will travel for one month to India and come back home middle of February.I more and more think it is smarter to go there in springtime if I am still interested. Curious what he will write when he got the book.
I am free to decide it really spontaneous.
Sometimes I think it would be great to have a phonecall with him to take out the pressure. What do you think?
Thankyou for your answer
Sophie.Thankyou Heidi,
I have the same feeling like you.
The flight-ticket was quite cheap and I would spend more in a Hotel. And it is winter so really not the good time for Malta. Not so joyful for be there alone.
I also think if you are in such a difficult situation like he is Christmas Time and New Year kind of make you more depressed. Just a couple of days later I will travel for one month to India and come back home middle of February.I more and more think it is smarter to go there in springtime if I am still interested. Curious what he will write when he got the book.
I am free to decide it really spontaneous.
Thankyou for your answer
Sophie.Hello Kanya,
Thankyou for your answer. Yes, that is a great message if I wanne do that trip to his place (Malta). And I will write it like that simple.But I am not really sure if I wanne go because I feel that he is really unstable in this moment and circling around his stuff. I think he failed with his Business because if not I would have seen it with social media. And I feel it happend in that time when he broke up with me 2 month ago.
I also want to fly to India shortly after and I have fears that this trip to him can make me sad again. But I know that this is my decision I have to do in the next week.
But you also think that I should rent a Hotel for myself even if he invited me, or?What do you think about his last message? He did not ask anything. Even not when I wanne fly to India.
Thankyou for your advice
Sophie.Hello Heidi,
after 4 days I got an answer to my message but he was all this time not online on WhattsApp and on FB. So maybe he is not in a good mood this days.
Look this is his answer:„The travelling german bird! Always moving around the world 🙂
Thank you so much for your thought for my birthday, it’s very touching!
Enjoy your winter holidays with the India sun.
Have a nice day Sophie.“Finally my delayed small present is on the way today. So I think I see what he is answering when he got it. And if he writes me in Christmas or New Year. I think I should not write anything because there is no question in that message and it is on him, or?
What do you suggest and what do you think about his answer?
Thankyou so much for your advices
Sophie.Thankyou Heidi,
that is a great message. I will wait until the end of the month to write it. And see how and if he answer to my last message.
I will keep you posted.
Thankyou for your sentences about value.
Sophie.Hello Heidi,
Thankyou for being so honest and clear to me. I like it.
Yes, you are right it triggers me on situations I felt forgotten in my live. Especially with birthdays. He said he feels really sorry but we never had a closer talk because he broke up by textmessage. But maybe you are right that it is on me to forgive and let go. Because I like him really much, we have a lot in common and he has a great character.Let me explain you the ticketsituation. Together we decided that I come to visite him beginning of November and I booked the ticket. Then he paniced that he is so unstable. And ask me to come two weeks later and just for 4 days. He wanted to refund me that ticket.
In this time between we wrote nearly daily until it happend with my birthday. When he realized how disappointed I am he broke up with me by text-message because he does not earn me and in this moment he is in a bad situation and destroy everything like a bulldozer.
He refund me the ticket fir november. Another day in december I found this cheap ticket to Malta in january and just bought it to my risk.
Maybe I just should fly and write him when I am already there and ask for a lunch?
By the way I wrote yesterday the WhattsApp like you told me. Curious what he might answer.
Kind regard
Sophie.Thankyou Heidi,
I did not answer yet. I wanne do it tomorrow.
In one hand I think you are right with take him his guilt away. But if I am honest – I am still kind of angry. As I know myself I think I need to speak about that on phone or personal to let go the anger because it was just by textmessage until now. Even the separation. So it is hard to say: I let it go already. On the other way I know that he hold distance because he feels very ashamed.
I bought the flight-ticket after our separation and it is difficult not to say so because I had a flight-ticket in November. I did not used it because he left me end of October and he refunded me the costs. If that wouldn’t be like that your text would be perfect.
How to deal with that?
Kind regards SophieThankyou Heidi,
I did the text like you told me. And ask him for his Apartment-Nr. and said when I back home in the next days I will send the parcel.
Look this is the answer:
„Thank you so much my dear Sophie! I really appreciate your message. You are so kind that I feel so guilty about your birthday and I m sorry to have my mind elswhere…okay, my apartment-number is 9 (almost 7).
Have a good day and take care.
see you next time 😊
And where are you if you are not in Hamburg?“
What do you think about that answer? Do you think „See you next time“ means that we spend the next birthday together?
What would be your advice to answer and also what to do with the fightticket on 4th january.
Thankyou so much for your help.Hello Heidi,
the book did not arrived in time in my place. So I can send it for Christmas. Tomorrow is the birthday of my Ex. Could you help me what to write him on WhattsApp or maybe a speach-message?
Thankyou for your help.Hey Heidi, could you help with the point what I should do on his birthday? That would be great. I am not sure what is smart to write on his birthday. Or a voicemessage on WhattsApp. And also I have a book as a present. I do not know if I should send that because like I told you he forgot totally my birthday and even later did not send me a present.
What do you think?Dear Heidi,
thanks for your message. Yes, he broke up by WhattsApp after he forgot the birthday. It looks like he was even to unstable or ashamed to give me a call.
I answered him a couple of days later that even when I am disappointed I know that he his a good man and that I wish him to come out his anxieties. I also said Thankyou and that I also think that it seems that this is not our time for a relationship. I said goodbye and that when he sorted his stuff he maybe give me a call.
Again one week later he wrotes me a thankyou for our nice time and that he will never forget and goodbye which sounded like a goodbye for ever.
In long time I am not so interessted in friendship because I know that I want more. Even if we like each other.
Do you mean to have that, that he can relax and come out of his failure-thinking and ashamed-thinking to reopen toward me?
Maybe I just start with a birthday-wish and see what comes from him. I even have a small present but I don’t know if this is to much.
What do you think?
