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Hi Heidi, I’m well so far. Yes I’m still in contact with him. Eish it’s so hard for me to cut all ties with him. Last week, I asked him to kiss me and he did. I asked him if he still loves me and he said he did. From what I can see and gather here is that he does love me. He’s gotten to used to me being around since he sees me at work daily. He’s this caring person, making my tea and washes my cup after tea n doing stuff for me. We still chatting on a daily basis just on friendly basis though. I think over time, the sparks and chemistry have died. I’m sure there’s ways and means of igniting these sparks again. Please help me. I still love him.
Hi Heidi, yes I still do love him very much and wanted to be connecting to him, but he doesn’t seem interested in that way, so I thought what the he’ll must I keep trying for. I’m only frustrating myself, and it’s de same boring routine chatting to each other about general stuff, nothing romantic. So I thought let me try and cut him off completely and see what happens. Although I’m gonna be seeing him at work daily I will try n minimize my communication with him and after hours no chats at all. I just wanna see if there will be any changes in him after that. Do u think that’s a good idea
Thank u for your input. I’ve already tried distancing myself from him.i sent him a message yesterday telling him not to chat with me again Cos I need to get over him. He said okay. But then last night he sent me a message goodnight. This morning again, Goodmorning and telling me he had just got up and how cold it is. I just sent him a Goodmorning. I wanna try really hard to get over him but he’s not giving me a chance to.
Hi. It’s been a couple of days now and I’m like just talking to my partner about general stuff and not forcing the issue of our relationship. How much longer should I continue this. How do i get him to change again and start being that loving caring man that he once was. I’ve tried de hero instinct thing. To an extend it has worked. Please advise me. Thanks
Hi Kanya. Thank you for responding. I’m gonna start with the hero instinct. Seeing that he chats with me on a daily basis, it will be easy for me. The time he was going through alot with his finance issues and his his sister n brother coming to live with him, about the same time I complained to him bout him not meeting me and being with me. At that time he told me I was so indifferent. So maybe I will apologize to him on that. He felt that I wasn’t worried about what he was going through. He never complained about our relationship until recently when he told me he has lost interest and said that we haven’t been together for so long. I’m gonna really try with assistance from you. Thank you
Hi I was going through Heidi’s chats dated 28th April, I realized it could be point number 4 that he’s stressed out out his finances and his family. He constantly tells me how he must do everything at his home financially n his sister and brother are like parasites. And not forgetting the South African revenue services(SARS) is currently deducting big amounts from his salary due to Hi. I will g so much on his taxes. He did mention to me once when I I questioned him bout his feelings for me, that he feels something heavy at de back if his head. I thought he was lying about it, but another work colleague also mentioned that he complained to him about this feelings on his head. He also told him that he’s so afraid to go have it checked out, what if it’s something bad and he won’t be able to handle it. I also begged him to have himself checked, n he said he will but to date he hasn’t. He’s a very strong energetic person. Full of life and vigor. Always on the move. I would think that’s why he’s afraid of going to the doctor. He’s still chatting with me. Sending me good morning messages, telling me bout his family n what he’s gonna be doing for the day. I have this gut feeling I can get him back to loving me, maybe with yourlls help please. Maybe if I could send him some strong romantic or loving messages to trigger something in him. But I don’t have a way with words. If u could help me please.
Hi Kanya, thank you. As for support, there’s no friends that know about my relationship with my bf. All they know is he’s a colleague from work. Just to let you know, my husband and I never shared an intimate relationship for almost 10 years now. I don’t love him. I just live here. We are still married because of financial issues . my husband has had affairs upon affairs and this has led to the failure of my marriage. There were plenty of times that I tried to fix my marriage . but anyways that’s a thing of the past. I wanna try n cut off all ties with my bf, but really it’s so difficult. I haven’t as yet blocked him from my watsapp. Is there any possible ways of trying to win him back please. With all these books that James advertise about getting Ur man back. Is there a way I can try.
Hi Heidi, thank you so much for your input. The hardest part for me is letting him go completely. It’s like I will be missing a part of my body. Yes, I also think youre right in this idea of letting him off completely from me, no chats, no communication at all. What I’m afraid of is that I work with him and the sad part is that I will be seeing him daily at work. How do i deal with him at work. How do I ignore him at work. That’s my biggest worry. As of now I will block him from my watsapp. I am also off for a few days from work. So will see how it goes. Thank you
Hi Kanya. Thank you so much for responding. Nope in the 7 months we never attempted to see each other and have intimate time together. I just took it for granted that we love each other. In January 2018, I asked him to take me to this place that we normally book to be together. He took me but on our way he told me not to waste my time booking as he won’t be able to see me that weekend as he was attending a family wedding. So I didn’t bother. Then the following weekend I asked to see him and he said he couldn’t because he was taking his mum to see her family’s. That’s when I really started noticing a difference in him. Then when I would buzz him to come to my office to give me a kiss, he would come but find excuses like people are around or his mouth feels funny. There were always excuses. In the 5 years that we were together, yes we shared intimate and beautiful moments together. He was ever so eager to see and be with me. Just to let you know Kanya, I watsapped him today although we both were at work because I didn’t want to speak to him directly as I know I would end up crying. I watsapped him and asked him how can I now behave n show sisterly love towards him after what we shared. I told him it’s so unfair because he’s not hurting here, I am being hurt. I told him I can never treat him like a brother now. I also told him I know deep down he still loves me he just can’t see it right now. He just told me okay, we will chat. That’s all. Also remembered now Heidi had asked me if there could be any problems that he may be having like family issues and finances. Yes he is, financially because his sister couldn’t get finances for a car she purchased, then the car was financed on his name. She was out if a job for like 2 months and he had to pay for it. Then today some 1 from de Bank called him stating that the vehicle is not insured n they will be debating his account for a further 1500 rands for insurance. He was so angry about this. He had also financed another vehicle on his name for his sister who had sold that car to his neighbor. They made de arrangements that the debit order will go from his account n his sisters friend will pay him the cash. About 2 weeks ago, he told me that his sisters friend approached him telling she cannot afford to pay the installment for the car. So really I don’t know if all this could be affecting him, where he can’t really focus his attention on me. And then I’m also putting pressure on him now with my issues n relationship with him
Hi James. I don’t mind remaining on this programme till I know I’ve won his heart and he’s mine again. U can see from this how desperate I really am. I’ve purchased the secret obsession from you, but then I returned it as I didn’t know what or how to really use it. That’s why I decided to register on this programme where I can get more insight on how I should go about winning my man back.
Hi James. Maybe this would help. Recently at work, there were some work related issues were members were not performing well in the shifts. My commander took me out of office hours and placed in in the shifts to work. I was miserable working there. My partner knew I hated working shifts especially night shift. He was angry with my commander. He spoke to her on my behalf and prayed that she change me. And she did. He was so happy about it. So u see he has his caring ways. It’s like mixed feelings you see. One time he shows how much he cares and the next it’s like he’s heartless. At one stage I chatted on watsapp with him and asked him if he still loves me. He said he did. Then asked him if he would be intimate with me, he said he will have to work on the intimacy. For now he Sally’s he sees it as a more sisterly love. Is that possible to happen please tell me. I’ve like losty sanity now. I cannot concentrate at work. I’m totally miserable n people at work are beginning to notice and ask me what’s wrong with me.
Hi James. Thank you for responding. From the way he behaves, I think that the chemistry is gone. Previously I could see the spark in his eyes, and how he wanted to be with me. The last time we’ve actually really been together was in September 2017.he booked a place and I met him. I just want him to love me again. Hes the only person who made me so happy. I used to look forward to going to work n seeing him. He told me he will still be there for me as a friend but I don’t want that James, I want him as my partner, my lover.
Just to add to what I’ve said, he chats to me on a daily basis, do u think I should stop chatting to him even though it’s about general stuff. Today at work, I ignored him completely. I feel bad at looking at him directly. He tried making conversations with me and I ignored him. Do u think I’m doing the right thing. Please advise me.
Hi Heidi, I am married but am not involved in any form if relationship with my spouse. He’s not married. We didn’t want anybody at work to know that we were seeing g each other. That’s why it was a secret. He lives with his mum. Recently his brother n sister who are not married also came to live with him. He always complained to me about how lazy they are and don’t contribute towards the household. Our relationship was great. He used to tell me how much he loved me. He would come into my office daily n kiss me. Sex was awesome. We used to see each other on weekends. We’ll not every weekend. He’s a very private person, has always been like this when it comes to relationships he won’t discuss or let anybody know who he’s dating. I asked him if he’s seeing some one else and he denied it. I actually thought he was seeing his ex girlfriend again, but then she has moved on with her life and is in another relationship. Our communication was great, we communicated well, we could always talk about things and interact with each other. He is 46 years old. He still talks to me but this is about general stuff like work. He still comes into my office now and again, but just talking generally. When he chats on watsapp, he will chat about work stuff. When I tell him that I love him, he puts 2 emoticons on hugs n sends it to me. He never tells me he loves me to. Everyday I go to work, and see his face and it tears me apart knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. Yet for him, he Carrys on like a normal person and is not hurting.
