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Three Ways Men Think Differently about a First Date

By: James Bauer

Couple enjoying a date together Of the many ways men and women think differently, here's one of my favorites.

Women agonize over finding an outfit that is stylish and trendy for a first date.

But men are often a little behind in recognizing women's trends.

That means your outfit may actually send confusing signals to his brain if it does not automatically trigger a familiar "feminine style" label at an unconscious level of evaluation.

That’s because your feminine qualities are what attract him.

Ask him after a date what you were wearing, and you would be astonished at how little he remembers. One thing will stand out in his mind though. 

Anything that accentuates your feminine qualities in a relaxed and comfortable way will be attractive to him. 

In fact, the simpler and less fussy the patterns and cuts of your clothes, the more likely he is to have a positive first impression. That’s because your clothing will not distract from the simple elegance of your female figure.

Here's another interesting difference between men and women. Men aren't all that interested in learning about you on a first date. If you ask him how it went, he is far more likely to give a statement about what it feels like to be in your presence.

While women are likely to respond to a friend's question with details, like his occupation, or the number of brothers and sisters he has, he will be much more impacted by the emotions you generated in him. In man-speak, what it felt like to hang out with you.

Men tend to be more "here and now" when it comes to relationships. They do much less plotting and planning about the future of a relationship than women do.

They are also far less likely to read into details and try to anticipate what those details mean about you. If he senses you are happy, that will go a long way toward creating a positive feel to his interactions with you on a first date.

Couple thinking different things One of the most significant ways men think differently than women shows up when choosing conversation topics.

Women enjoy discussions about things going on with friends and acquaintances. Some women find this kind of conversation topics so interesting that they have a hard time understanding just how boring it is to men.

There are exceptions, but most men don’t enjoy long conversations about what so-and-so did or said. He will come away from that experience with a memory of profound boredom.

He will likely be polite, and possibly even ask a few questions, but try to avoid talking about other people that he doesn't know. 

Be especially careful not to talk about problems between other people. It may be a relevant part of your life, and something that's interesting and important to you, but a first date is not the place to introduce him to that part of your life.

If you're interested in learning how to create irresistible attraction with men, you really need to study the experience of dating and attraction from his perspective. Doing so gives you back to power over the direction of your dating relationships.

We have put together a primer on what you really need to know if you want to get inside his head.
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