From Stephell to Stepheaven
Relationship-Saving Advice for Stepparents
The role of a stepparent isn’t an easy one. Find out how you can be better at it!
Hi there, it’s Amy coming at you with a new e-book.
This book addresses the trials and tribulations of believing you’ve finally found “the one” only to find out that he/she has children.
And not just any children mind you, but the kind of children who don’t want anyone taking their parent’s attention, trying to tell them what to do, or trying to be their new parent. “You’re not my mom!”
The fact that you’re reading this right now tells me you’re looking for answers or being proactive in your relationship. Kudos.
Certainly not all stepfamilies struggle, but many do.
A difficult ex can make yours and your spouse’s lives miserable or children may resent a new person in a position of power over their lives.
In all families with children it has been found that happiness diminishes after the birth of the first child and then increases after the last child leaves.
I say this only to point out that having children, even when they are your own, is a blessing while the process of growing into an adult is a stressful one for all involved.
The Most Important Rule
If you’re dating a person who has children, the best thing you can do in the beginning is focus on the romantic relationship.
Problems happen when a couple puts the needs of the children before their own.
Yes, I know that sounds a bit selfish, however being a child of divorce, the fact that the parent and new spouse have a healthy, happy, and romantic love life creates a good example for the children.
A strong relationship also builds a firm foundation on which to have a family.
Children thrive when they live in a loving home with consistent leadership and clear boundaries and rules.
5 Things You Can Do Right Now
If you find yourself in a stepparent role in which you have become the “bad guy” take a step back and think about these 5 things:
- How have I contributed to this situation? Are you allowing the parent (or yourself even) to put the children’s happiness first?
- Communicate with all parties involved. That’s right; include the ex and their new spouse and form a parenting coalition. This way everyone’s on the same page and it cuts down on a lot of stress.
- Adjust your expectations. Realize the situation won’t be all unicorns and butterflies, especially in the beginning.
- Face the myth of the Wicked Stepmom as soon as possible. The children need to respect you whether they like you or not and you can command that respect.
- Don’t pretend everything’s okay when it isn’t.
From Stephell to Stepheaven – Relationship-Saving Advice for Stepparents provides even more insightful ways to have a healthy, loving relationship with a parent who has children. Once that relationship is solid, you can work on getting to know the children and being held in a position of respect in their lives.
Does that sound good?
Then click the button below to gain access to From Stephell to Stepheaven – Relationship-Saving Advice for Stepparents right now!
Questions? Call 1-800-755-4364 or contact Support.
Wishing you all the best,
Amy Waterman and James Bauer