[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
I’m crazy. This nut case is sitting in Barcelona right now. It’s 4 weeks till I fly home and I just booked me a trip to Austria Feb 16-19. That’s only 9 days before I leave. Am I nuts!??? But I’m excited. I’ve always wanted to go to Austria. Was eating lunch Wednesday with a couple co-workers and they told me I had to go to Innsbruck and it was easy to get to. Saw today in the airport there are direct flights Amsterdam to Innsbruck, so just booked a flight and an Austrian looking family-owned hotel with a balcony looking out at the Alps. Around 500 eu or around 700 CAD for 3 days. Still have to book tours, but can do that later. I’m nuts. I’m moving home in 4 weeks, have a ton of stuff to do and take care of and I book me a trip to Austria. Oh well. I figured it was my one and only opportunity, so I did it.

Gotta be up by 5:45 to head to my first tour tomorrow and it’s 9:46 pm. Crazy me!!!!

Enjoy your day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Heidi,
(playful tease) Ahhhh, come on, Heidi. Flirting is fun. Don’t take my fun away from me. 🙁 That thought makes me pout! The better I learn to flirt, the more fun I can have….. even if it doesn’t go anywhere. 🙂 You haven’t seen the playful, flirtatious side of me. Most of the time its buried by the demands and responsibilities and stresses of living (especially while the boys were home and I was a single mom) but every once in a while it surfaces. That side of me needs to be refreshed as I’ve lost my touch from not using it for a long time. So my reason for “researching” the flirting is more for the fun and let whatever happens happen. Flirting is a form of communication and if I can improve my flirting, I’ve improved my overall communication skills…. which could use some improvement. Being playful and flirtatious is a part of who I am….. even if it seldom surfaces and people only get a glimpse of that now and then. So trying to bring that out a bit more.

And no, it’s still cold here. 🙁 I see snow in the forecast again. Barcelona is supposed to be slightly warmer…. high 40s and low 50s, but that still isn’t all that warm.

Yes, Feb 28 is when I fly home. All my service/utility/insurance contracts have now been cancelled but still need to find out about taxes and see if I can pull all my retirement and transfer it to my RSVP in Canada. So things are going well. Should have my contract for Canada next week.

Went into the office today. Fun. (pout) I went to work with Cees (pronounced case). He’s a data guru and setting up PowerBI through an API linked direct to Smart Completions. I’ve talked with him on Teams but finally got to meet him in person. He’s cute and fun to work with. Also wearing a wedding band. I finally figured out the men here wear their wedding rings on their right hand, not their left like in North America. Then there was a gentleman sitting next to me (work area is open and the desks are in rows with 2 or 3 in a row touching each other). Just before he left he started talking to me, asking where I lived, why I had come to The Netherlands, how long have I been here, etc. and if I would be in tomorrow. Said no, as I’m going to Barcelona, but then he said he’d maybe see me next week. LOL. Good for my self confidence if nothing else. Kind of fun.

And it’s getting late so I’d better say Good night. Hope your day is AWESOME as it’s just getting started.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
So in my boredom, I’ve been listening to videos on flirting and attracting men. I think this is what you’ve been trying to tell me

Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Oh I’m so depressed and grumpy!!! I HATE Holland! It’s been right at the freezing mark for the last week, but 85% humidity and above. It’s been snowing a wet snow. Slight breeze. I cannot get this apartment warm. It has 9 foot ceilings and 30 to 40% of the outside walls are windows. Huge glass windows. Cold draft coming in around the windows in the bedroom. Heat is radiators. Terribly inefficient. I’m FREEZING! It was 33 out and I went out to go to the store. That cold went through my coat, my sweatshirt and my thermals clear into my bones. Give me my sunshine and 14 F at home!

I’m a bit nervous about my trip to Barcelona. The nearest bus stop is over a quarter mile away from the hotel and I need to be to the bus by 7:30. Not a big issue except sunrise isn’t till after 8, meaning I have to walk that in the dark. It’s along a main road so should have plenty of light. I might see if I can get a taxi for that first day, but it will cost me 15 Euros or close to $20.

I did turn down the global position. Sent an email Friday. Got no response from either Ramesh or Tamie. I had said I was hoping to work closely with their team and got no response. Turned down a 10% raise, but I think the hassles of that job and lack of support and communication would make the 10% not worth it. I was supposed to have gotten a 3% raise. Will check on my next pay stub. This job might have it’s challenges, but at least I know what I’m dealing with and am getting to where I can deal with the challenges. Who knows. Maybe I’ll retire after 1 year. Would kind of like to work 2 more. We’ll see.

Anyway, I am bored to death as I’m stuck in this tiny apartment with nothing to do. In thermals, sweatshirt and my fuzzy wuzzy warm bathrobe, wrapped up in blankets and still freezing. Can’t wait to get home!

Hope you have a wonderful day with lots of sunshine!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Heidi,
I need a sounding board. So global came back today and said they would NOT consider a shared role. So back to my dilemma. Here is what I see as pros and cons for each position:

Global position
Pros – 10% raise
Cons – I would have to do quite a bit of managerial/coordination tasks that I don’t really have the experience or skills for
I watched Bridget get cut back to part time without notice
I watched Bridget be expected to give sales demos without being given a charge code and not able to charge to overhead
I don’t know how much support I would have to do the things I want to do with the program (get other modules in the program functional)
I don’t know my boss and how she would be to work for and how much support I would have. And her hands can be tied by the boss in India. Maybe prejudiced, but my EXPERIENCE has been that men from India are not that easy to work with. Different culture and different personalities.

Holland position
Pros – I can still work from Canada (90% – meeting Monday with global mobility and Canada HR)
Bob has gotten a lot better to work with and I’m understanding what he wants and how he wants it
Bob has now been promoted to handling the jobs in the Middle East and Africa as well, and I think all of Europe, not just The Netherlands and Belgium, so more work
Bob supports what I want to do with the program, like build a fully functioning demo project with fake data so we can demo all the modules Smart Completions offers to a client.
I don’t have to worry about being paid and fighting to get a charge code. Bob has told me to do the “regional tasks” (like building the demo project, fine tuning our global template, writing How-To’s for training, etc.) and just spread the time across the projects.
I really feel I could accomplish more staying with The Netherlands than going global.

Cons – I don’t think I would get the raise. I was supposed to get 3% but I haven’t checked. Need to do that, but been swamped.

I was really leaning towards the global position, but looking at the pros and cons, other than the raise, I think I would be happier, have more support and be able to do more with much less BS than going global. Watching Bridget go through all the BS she went through has really made me hesitant. I’m afraid I would have to constantly fight to be able to do the non-billable things I want to do. I don’t think I would have the support from Tamie and Ramesh that I do from Bob to really develop Smart Completions to its full potential. I’m inclined to stay in this position and set up a model program. Is the 10% raise worth all the BS Bridget went through? Uh, I doubt it.

Dunno. Praying hard.

Hope you are having an awesome day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,

Thank you. I’m kind of excited about the new role I’ll be taking. Bob is working with Tamie for a shared role for me. I would be maybe 2/3 for Holland and 1/3 for the global team in a technical support role. Too funny. I’ve already gotten calls from three projects for help and support. All three are working to get me billable so I can charge for my time. I won’t turn anyone away for help and support, even if I have to do it on my own time. I have LOTS to do now. My role in The Netherlands is shifting a bit. Moving more to a support, higher level role. I think I’ll enjoy it.

Understood what you’re saying about hiding in focusing on them. I’m trying to work on balancing the conversation and sharing me as well as learning about them. No one wants to be with someone who talks about themselves all the time, either. Hee. Hee. Someone shouldn’t get me started talking about my photos. I won’t stop talking.

Hope you’re having a good day.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Seems like the site is working now. 🙂

LOL. I will be glad to get past all the legalities of moving home….. cancelling service contracts, reporting moving to the city of Rotterdam, cleaning the apartment and checking out….. As much as I’ve struggled over here, I’m thankful for the experience. But I am ready to come home. I didn’t miss it at all when I was home at Christmas. Wish I had made it to Austria. Looked at going in Feb, but really not feasible.

Hmmmm. I learned very early in life that I’d better tell my mom what she wanted to hear, whether it was the truth or not, or I’d get punished. So that’s always been a perspective…. what is the “right” answer? what do they want to hear? what can I do to make them like me? I always strived for perfection. My mom and my ex’s would beat me up verbally for stuff they didn’t like. It may not have been wrong, but they did’t like it, so always tried to be “perfect” to keep from being punished. I’m learning to accept myself with my mistakes and trying to have the courage to not be perfect. It’s coming. My mom was always riding my case for being fat. She’d tell me I was fat then she would flat out say she didn’t like fat people. Conversation has never been my strongest skill, and I’m aware of that. Am I trying to hide things about me? I don’t know. I don’t think so. It’s not so much me trynig to hide things about me as me trying to figure out how to please someone. My mom drove into me from a young age that I would never find a decent man. And being young and not knowing better, I bought it. I don’t buy it any more. I know I’m a high quality woman and a high quality man will be lucky to have me. So I’m doing better. 🙂 Looking forward to getting home and practicing my feminine energy flirting skills. 🙂 Can practice connecting with my heart here, but probably not the flirting skills so much.

Booked my flight for Feb 28. Started the process of closing contracts this morning. Will conitnue tomorrow. Then I’ve got to figure out taxes. Yuck.

Hope you have an awesome day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Heidi, I can’t get to your last message. I click on the link and it says its for members only. I log in, find our topic and I can go to page 75, but the latest messages are on page 76 and every time I try to go there it just kicks up an ad and wants me to subscribe again. Quite irritated. I tried the chat and it’s only a FAQ, it’s not live. I’m grumpy!!!

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
LOL. Well, I had proposed the idea of a shared roll where I would work for both. Tamie, in the US for global, was open to talking about it. My boss here, Bob, is quite supportive of the idea. He will call her next week to discuss. They have not gotten much response back from the global HR person in Houston, so nothing confirmed yet. They are contacting directly the person in Calgary, so hopefully details will be worked out next week or the week after. They confirmed today I should book my flight for Feb 28 as my residency expires then and they will make sure the details get worked out one way or another. Bob and Ron are quite supportive of keeping me on, so greatly appreciated.

I understand what you’re saying about focusing on “being me” and developing more self-esteem …. and self awareness. I think I can do that better now than I did a year ago. For the first time I’ve had occasional feelings that I’m a high quality woman and I don’t need to try to convince a man I’m worth it. I can just be me and they can figure that out for themselves. Maybe that isn’t a good way to put it, but not feeling that need to find out how to convince a man to like me near as much as I used to. Still not all the way there, but moving in that direction.:)

Have a WONDERFUL weekend!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Yes, I’m back in The Netherlands. Travel as smooth as it could be. Left the house at 8am Sunday morning and got to my apartment noonish Monday, Netherlands time (4 am mountain time) so I was up for 22 hours. Ha Ha. Crashed.

For the first time in my life I get to choose between two positions. Will have to decide by Friday. Praying hard. One would be under Bob continuing what I’m doing but from Calgary. The other would be the global position, which would be different from what I have been doing. I’m leaning towards taking the global position. Bob’s been much better to work with but just yesterday, again, a couple times he came across telling me what to do and how to do it. And he’s hired another guy he wants me to train. OMG. Richard LOVES to talk! I was trying to show him how to use the software. He talked so much I could barely get a word in edgewise. I got the impression he thinks he’s the cat’s meow and knows pretty much everything. On the flip side, Tamie, the person I’d be reporting to in the global position seems quite nice. She also likes to talk, but I think she would be better to work with. And…. after 11 years maybe I’m ready for something a bit different. I’ll keep praying and see how the next two days go, but I’ leaning towards the global position.

LOL. I can think of times I’ve let my heart take over…. Ha Ha. But I’ve blamed it on my car or my kayak having a mind of its own. I used to be able to go sit on a hillside and just feel like I was this small thing in this huge space, like I was an integral part of my surroundings. It was very peaceful and rejuvenating. But it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. I do need to focus on my heart and listening to my heart more. I have bookmarked that link you sent. Thank you.

For Sharon’s story, I believe there’s truth in what Matt said and truth in what you said. I know I can’t control how people treat me, but I can influence it. People will react to me based on my actions. How they react is a function of their personality. How would the relationship between Sharon and Mark gone had she interacted with him with masculine energy? We won’t ever know, but I highly suspect the outcome would have been different. How would some of her other relationships gone had he used her feminine energy? Only God knows, but I suspect they may have gone differently. People will respond to me differently based on how I treat them and how I act. However, I can treat two people the same and they will both respond differently based on their personalities. Quite complicated. While I may not always get the responses I want, I believe I will get better responses if I interact from a feminine energy rather than a masculine energy. And that feminine energy needs to be positive rather than negative. And as far as being single for the rest of my life? It won’t be any different than what I’m doing now. I’m certainly not sitting around moping and crying crocodile tears in my house waiting for someone. I’ll continue to get out and enjoy life. I would prefer to share it with someone, but if that doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.

And I don’t know what’s happened with my sleep pattern. Very tired at 7:30 Holland time (11:30 am) mountain time and then I wake up around 11 pm Holland time (3 pm mountain time) and have a difficult time going back to sleep. Makes no sense, except it’s rather stressful now trying to figure out which job I’m going to take, thinking about all the things I have to do to move back home…. contracts to cancel, report to the city of Rotterdam, talk with the bank…. taxes… no clue on how the the taxing will go in Holland. My phone isn’t working. Ha Ha. Forgot the only USB cable that fits my phone so had to go buy a new one last night. Just put my Dutch sim card back in and it isn’t working. It says I have no cell service but registering with Vodaphone. Had no problems when I switched to my Canadian sim, but seems to not be working putting the Dutch sim back in. And I won’t be able to take it in till Sunday. So much fun!

Hope you’re off to a wonderful day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hello,
Well, I’ve got 40 more minutes at my loved home, then heading back to Holland. Be an overnight flight. I have high, high hopes for coming home in March, though, and it’s easier going back since I know how to get around and know the area a bit. I did book a trip to Barcelona for the last week of January. Think I’ll change one of my tours, though. I booked one trip to a monastery and three cruises. Think I’ll trade my day cruise for a tour of the city.

Did find this on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3qBB1va2CI I’ve long known I behave more like a male than female, mostly because I’ve been thrown into a male role being a single mom, and to a certain extent, my work position requires more leading, male actions. What he says here is something I can do. It’s not vague. I can focus on the moment. I can learn to invite instead of pursue. Not quite sure about the first one, though, moving the energy down to the heart. It sounds like he’s speaking literally, not figuratively. Any thoughts? Any other thoughts on how I can amplify my feminine energy? I’ve tried being a gracious, joyous receiver and also giving compliments. Hasn’t worked yet.

Had a good day yesterday. Hiked about 14 k – 9 in the morning in the Weaselhead. Got some cute squirrel pics. Then 5 k at Bow Valley Ranch/Fish Creek in the afternoon. Got some nice deer pics.

Friday got to Carburn early for ice skating so walked over and checked out the Sue Higgins dog park to look for places good to take photos. Got some ideas so will go when I get home in March.

Have an awesome, wonderful day.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Spyce,
I try not to jump to conclusions with people. I did that time, though, didn’t I? I just mentioned I had texted her when she got here and she said she never got it and asked if I had gotten hers. It’s a good thing because I was able to get the problem taken of and get my phone working again. Debbie is the main leader for Calgary Christian Singles Activity Group meetup so that’s where I met her, in uh, ’17.

LOL. Yes, much more active here than anywhere else. And I’ll be more active come spring and summer. I love being home.

So more news about work in March. First, Bob, my boss, has been quite active in trying to get everything set up so I can continue on with them but work from Calgary. He said it’s all been approved, just need to work the details out. We found the global mobility person in Houston, so The Netherlands is trying to work with her to get it set up. Secondly, I got a shocker call just before Christmas. Bridget, our Smart Completions support person called me. I’ve worked with her since 2012 and we’re friends. She called and told me she just resigned. She’s been offered a position that paid more and offered better benefits. Don’t blame her for leaving. She highly recommended me as her replacement to her boss, so I had an interview with her boss today. Tamie said she was sending an excellent recommendation to her boss who ultimately has to approve who is hired for the position. So that looks promising. Their kind of in a tough spot as Bridget is leaving on the 11th. Not time to train someone and I already know the program well. So we’ll see. Looks like there are two options for me. Waiting for God to work things out for me. Tomorrow I’ll plan a trip to Barcelona end of January then hope to get one more trip in, but need to wait to find out when I need to book my flight back.

Hope you had a wonderful New Year!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Well, I have to eat my words. Apparently I don’t have cell service any more. I knew my pre-paid monthly ran out yesterday, but I was still supposed to have the year’s subscription that’s paid till end of Feb. I should still have some texting left on that. Deb should up around 1:30. She said she had texted me and I never got the texts. She also said she never got the one I sent. So…… Guess I’m without cell service for a week!

We had a lot of fun skating. We’re going again Friday. Can’t believe this is my last week. sniff sniff. Hope I hear something this week or maybe next week about the job options as I need to be buying my ticket for my flight home soon. Hee Hee. I will be starting to pack as soon as I get back there.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Oh, I’m getting annoyed and I need to vent!

Debbie offered to pick me up today to go ice skating. She said MAYBE around 2. I texted her 45 min ago asking what time she was coming. No response. It’s gorgeous out. Sunny and 34. I’m wasting a totally good day twiddling my thumbs waiting for her. She’s backed out on me before so don’t know if she will today or not. So I’m sitting in limbo not knowing what’s happening and wasting a totally beautiful day. She could at least text me and let me know what’s happening! To me it seems rude and not very thoughtful to leave me hanging like this. I’m quite annoyed. I’ll wait till 2:05 and then I’ll take off on my own. Sun goes down around 4:30 so not much time and by 2 the sun is already getting low in the sky. I’m quite annoyed she’s not letting me know something – whether she’s going to make it or not and what time. She probably totally forgot she said she would pick me up, but I texted her, so….. I’m grumpy!

Thank you for letting me vent.

[Rhonda R]

Happy New Year, Spyce!!
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and this is a great New Year. Hope the year brings you lots of joy and blessings!

Uuuuhh, I’m feeling like I’m very cold and lost all feeling. I had a little bit of time when I was sad, but for the most part I feel really not affected much. I’m enjoying being home too much, and too busy enjoying life to feel sad about my dad. I had almost no contact with him anyway, so nothing really feels different.

We’ll see if my sister takes me up on coming up. It would be good for her, but we’ll see. I did invite her, but also gave myself a way out, coordinating with my cousin for her to go there for part of the time. I just have a difficult time being around her. There’s just a vibe about her that’s uncomfortable for me. Feels negative. Ha Ha. I asked her why just makes her own mild (cashews, almonds, oatmeal) instead of buying almond milk. She responded something about how morticians can tell how long a woman’s been coloring her hair from how much chemicals are in her body. ?????? Then said something about not wanting the preservatives they supposedly put in the almond milk. I was scratching my head. How did we get from almond milk to hair coloring? (I had just colored my hair. I’m not ready to go grey so keep it the same color it was when I was younger.) I don’t buy that at all. It depends on the brand and how often a woman colors her hair. Some color it much more frequently than others, so for someone to claim they can tell how long someone’s been coloring their hair is pretty far fetched. Too many variables. I totally ignored her comments. But I don’t need to be around someone who makes little digs like that. Like Heidi said, she will have a big adjustment. She has never been on her own. Got married at 17. Divorced her first husband to go directly into a marriage with her second husband. When he had an affair, she moved back in with my parents.

Thank you for understanding. Yes, I’m SOOOOOOOOO excited to be getting back home again for good. I’ve so much loved being home for these 6 weeks. Been awesome! And I’ve got to go. Debbie is supposed to come pick me up for ice skating and she could come any time between now and 2, so better get ready. 🙂

Happy New Year!!!
Smiles,
Rhonda

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