[Rhonda R]

Thank you, Heidi,

How was your weekend with the dogs? How was the hike? Hope you enjoyed the weekend. I went looking for snow owls with a friend. Did find one and got some ok pics. Poor Jackie ended up with a flat tire, though. It can’t be repaired so she has to buy a new set of tires. 🙁

You’re always so encouraging and I do really appreciate it! 🙂 If you ever want to take a vacation up here, let me know! 🙂 We can go travel together for a few days. I’ll introduce you to the Canadian Rockies.

Not doing so well today, but my own fault. I was up till 2:30 this morning doing a power point for my Worley boss. He wanted a presentation for our turnover database and apparently the company doesn’t have one as I emailed our global lead for one and didn’t get a response. Also included a few slides talking to the issue Ken brought up in our discussion. Will send him those slides tomorrow and try to catch up with Joe, my Worley boss, to go over the full presentation with him and also share with him what Ken said in our meeting Friday morning. Will modify the presentation to meet what he wants. Also got my Worley profile updated and registered with Aerotek and another job service. Asked all my friends to pray for me, too. Hope to find out something positive this week.

Peter texted last asking if he could call. I was a bad girl and ignored him. Focused on work and job hunting. I should really email him and let him know I’m not interested. I feel very uncomfortable when a guy wants to immediately jump into a relationship and the majority of his conversation is how relationships are built and how he wants to develop our relationship. Just doesn’t feel normal and scares me. Nice to know I read him right. Not doing much out on the dating sites right now. Pretty focused on job hunting.

LOL. Its times like these I badly wish I had a partner and we had two incomes so it wouldn’t be so crucial if I didn’t find work right away. I just don’t have the energy any more to deal with situations like this. On the encouraging note, the Canadian job market increased by 10,000 more jobs than expected in December, so the economy is turning up. Hope that upturn continues!

Have an awesome day, Heidi!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Thanks, Heidi, 🙂
Again, didn’t get any notice of your post. Hope you had a good week.

Nice to know I’m sensing things right. So next update….. Peter did finally contact me again. After asking if I wanted to meet or have a call, he asked if he could call. Doesn’t seem like his question was genuine. Asked, then ignored my answer. Kind of a red flag for me again. Wouldn’t you wonder about that? Next flag for me……. he wants to talk about what a relationship should be and how he misses a woman in his life. When that’s 50% of the conversation and another 25% is, Let me tell you who I am so you can get to know me…… I just want to run. He’s coming across as needy. of course he’s from South Africa and by himself here with no family and his wife died a few years ago… But something still isn’t feeling right. That doesn’t seem healthy or normal for a man to want to talk so much about what a relationship should be and how much he needs a woman. I usually run fast when I hear that. What are your thoughts?

One of my favorite songs right now is In Time On Time Every Time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVAfIj6sJd4

I turned in an application to the company I’m contracted to now this week. Then I emailed the person who put out the posting as he knows who I am and the job is related to what I’ve been doing. Had a nice conversation with him this morning. While I doubt I’ll get the position he did say the company had lots of contract work for someone with my skill and he was glad I reached out to him. Got him thinking about other possibilities. Now I just have to get a hold of my manager and tell him, Let’s go chase that contract! So just as an explanation…. engineering firms have employees but they contract with other companies for their business, so while I’m employed for Worley, I’m contracted out to Keyera. Worley needs the work in Canada right now, so this is an opportunity for them to get more work. Still could easily hear from the project manager with the job in Grand Prairie. I keep praying and am asking all my friends to pray, too. Just keep trusting that per my experience with God, He’ll be In Time On Time This Time.

Have a super day tomorrow!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Update…… both men have ghosted me and disappeared. I don’t understand why that happens. Also one of my job opportunities has gone away. Will be a tough month.

Hope you had a great weekend,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

P.S. I remembered your advice when messaging with Peter and kept the messages brief and only one or maybe two questions on the same subject. LOL. I responded to one of his messages and said it left me with 1001 questions, but I was wondering if some of the subjects were more suited to personal conversation than email. He came back and asked if I wanted to meet or have a phone call. There are many things I like about him….. except his drinking, which could be a deal breaker. Any thoughts would be welcome.

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Hope your new year is off to a good start. Doesn’t look like you took any time off for Christmas? Did you get to spend time with family?

Yes, I will continue to watch Joe’s youtubes. Pretty interesting we can now see those energy fields.

I find its much more difficult to connect with my surroundings when I’m with someone. Almost have to go by myself to do that. I had to laugh. Went with a meetup walk New Years Day. James was there again. Bonafide nut case. He and I started back early as I wanted to do more wildlife photography rather than go to a ridge to view the city. James was talking up a storm. LOL. We were walking by the river and listening to it rush over rocks. Then he said he was enjoying being in nature and starting to relax and unwind….. but he was still talking a mile a minute. I had to laugh.

Well, I’m not sure what’s happening, but apparently I’m doing better. Got a hug from James Sunday then I asked Dean if he wanted a hug, too. He said yes, so gave him a hug as well. Tuesday night at the CCS New Year’s party got a hug from Dave when I got there, Michael hung around most of the evening. He was sitting next to me for some board games. His leg was touching mine most of the time. It was just a soft, I like you and want to be close type of touch. I do miss warm physical contact, so enjoyed that. Got a hug from Don, the host, when I left. That new profile seems to be doing better, too. Have had a few likes and gotten 2 messages in this last week since I put it up. Looks like I’ll have a date with one of the men. He fascinates me and could be possibly someone I’d be interested in, EXCEPT…. his profile says he drinks “moderately”. That scares me. Usually I don’t talk with a man who drinks more than socially. Any ideas of what “drinking moderately” means and how would I broach the subject to find out how important drinking is to him. Just got the 2nd message. Response from a gentleman I had contacted over a week ago, so kind of excited about that.

Now, I need to keep that positive energy for job hunting next week!

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
How interesting. I’ve listened to some of the talks from most of these people. Joe Dispenza – Break the Addiction to Negative Thoughts & Emotions. Very interesting. He was over my head, but I followed the concepts, I think. I think Joe is one I can really learn from. I’ll have to keep listening to him.

I haven’t heard of chakras before. Seems like much of this is based on eastern philosophies.

I remember times I’ve gone out and just sat on a hillside alone. It would seem like I would shrink into my environment and I would almost move outside myself. I would be totally aware of everything around me and I was a part of it. And I remember feeling at peace and happy. My brain pretty much turned off and I was part of my environment. But it felt good. So often now, even when I’m out hiking or kayaking, it’s go, go, go and I don’t stop and just be.

Yesterday was good. Trav flew home – or started his flight home – yesterday. (He ended up spending the night in Minneapolis airport as his flight was cancelled and the next one delayed. Poor kid! Didn’t get home till 9 this morning instead of 3 yesterday like he was supposed to.) I knew I would need to get out so went for a walk with a meetup group. For once I wasn’t really quiet and shy. Talked with everyone at east twice throughout the walk. Ended up talking more with Darrell. I had met him before, but hadn’t had opportunity to talk with him. Enjoyed the afternoon. Funny. He’s probably 20-30 years younger than me yet I had no problem keeping up with him.

For me, the Bible is the ultimate truth and I evaluate everything else in the light of what the Bible says. So here are some things I’m seeing:

1) Solomon says in Proverbs, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Now we are seeing that mental stress causes physical disease and positive thoughts can heal physical illnesses.

2) Jesus says to “Love your enemies and do good to those who hate you.” Greg talked about blessing those who hurt us and others talk about getting ride of hatred and anger.

3) Here’s one that really fascinates me: When the woman who had been hemorrhaging for years touched the edge of Jesus’ robe believing just touching his garments would heal her, Jesus said he felt energy leave Him. Very interesting in light of the energy fields and self healing.

Anyway, seems like basic rule is what Norman Vincent Peal said….. “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” Change your thoughts and you change who you are and your health and energy level. I will keep listening to these workshops, especial Joe.

Thanks, Heidi,
Have a super day tomorrow.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
You understand now what I was trying to convey. I was not aware of that most people interpret “shy” as what I would call “timid”, so I need to be aware of that and adjust. I understand you suggesting writing with scenarios rather than adjectives. Makes sense.

Yeah, energy fields do intrigue me. I’ve felt them for a long time. I would really like to learn how to control that. Bob Grant talks about the “campfire effect” with women and says a woman can turn it on just like a switch and radiate that warmth of a campfire. Haven’t figured out quite how to do that yet. Any suggestions on how to create that positive energy would be welcome. I know you said it is a subconscious belief.

I know how to generate a cold energy. Ha Ha Pretty easy when I’m feeling hurt. More like a cold shoulder. I also suspect that my energy field is generally maybe not cold, but more neutral, maybe “don’t come too close” and not warm and inviting. I find if I say to myself, “I am a wonderful person that everyone likes.” I find my attitude changes. I need to start telling myself that more often. Although I think I can give off a positive, warm vibe. I just need to perfect that and be able to do that more often.

So what have you learned about energy fields? LOL. Yeah, I have questions….. tell me all you know about it.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
My you were up early this morning! I thought you might have the day off. It’s a holiday here in Canada. Hope you had a very happy Christmas and had family or friends to celebrate with.

Wow. Ok, well that might explain why I’m not getting much response. Miscommunication. I never associated shy with fear. Shy for me is tainted with a bit of coy playfulness. Never fear. What you’re describing I would call timid. Shy is that inviting, teasing smile across the room instead of walking up and saying Hi, Want to dance? Shy is that slight, but warm blush in admitting I want a hug instead of just blurting, I need a hug. I was shyly saying I liked hugs…. but if I were to imagine a shy hug, it would be warm, gentle and soft. A timid hug would be what you described. But if others see shy like you, do, I need to recognize that and adjust.

Hmmm. I guess other people are having totally different experiences on dating sites than me. Way too often the men think or act like we’re dating after we’ve talked once. What I find is they immediately want to jump into a exclusive relationship. I’ve even seen one guy who flat out said he wasn’t interested in someone who wouldn’t be exclusive. So that being my experience, I wanted to say I like to get to know someone before I jump into a relationship.

I liked your paragraph about Matthew McConaughey. I have known for a long time people had what I called an energy field around them. My ex had the strongest negative energy field I’ve ever felt. I figured most people would look at me like I’m crazy if I told them I felt an energy field. But I’ve felt them for a long time. But I haven’t known how to create that positive energy field for me. That energy field that makes men pay attention. So how can I create that positive, sit up and take notice energy field?

Thanks,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

P.S. LOL. One turn-off in a dating profile is when a man posts a “sexy” pic of himself – sitting in a hot tub or pool, getting out of the shower with a towel wrapped around him, shirt half undone…. I quickly move on.

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Merry Christmas! Hope you’re having a wonderful day. It’s a lazy day here with my son. Beautiful and I’d like to get out, but he doesn’t want to, so that’s ok. We’ve been to the Drumheller dinosaur museum, one of the largest in the world, snow shoeing in Banff, tubing on the Olympic ski hill, and went to zoo lights. Tomorrow meet my cousin and her husband and kids for more tubing and we’ll get in a visit to the wolf-dog sanctuary yet before he leaves on Sunday, so I guess one day at home is ok.

Interesting you don’t see me as shy. This environment is not typical of my interactions with people. If I’m with even a small group of people, I’m the quiet one. Depending on who it is, even one-on-one, I tend to be quiet and do a lot more listening than talking. Especially if I’m tired, my mind goes totally blank and I withdraw and get really quiet …… 99.9% of the time. 0.1% of the time I get really goofy when I’m tired. Sometimes I can be more talkative if its a subject I’m really interested in, like sharing photos. Usually I ask questions rather than talk about myself. But I’m not that great at conversation and I struggle if I have to carry the conversation. I like that connection where we can enjoy each other’s company without talking. It does seem like I get out a lot, doesn’t it? But in most cases, I’m still alone…alone in a crowd. I do interact with people on the meetup activities, but, again, I tend to be quiet and do more listening than anything else. I’m pretty much an introvert, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a good catch or a not a good partner.

Here’s another re-write of a change in profile:

“Hi, there’s something that feels to me just a bit impersonal about dating sites, but I’m not meeting very many of you fine gentlemen in person. So I’m out here wanting to meet more of you. I like the old-fashioned dating when we went out on casual dates with many men to get to know them. So if you’re a true Christian gentleman with a positive personality, charming smile, loves being outdoors and is active and always up for adventure, you’re the kind of man I want to meet.

If you’re wondering who you’ll find when we meet, here’s a little snippet of who I am: I can be a little on the quiet side at first as I tend to be a bit of an introvert. But like a river, still waters run deep. I’m honest, loyal and dedicated. While I may not be talkative, I’m open and value communication. I’m a very warm, loving, caring and affectionate lady. (shyly) I do like hugs, holding hands or walking with arms around each other. I choose to focus on the positive and always look for the best in someone. I like to laugh and don’t take myself too seriously. I also appreciate the little things a man does for me and never take those little things for granted.

Like a diamond, I’m many-faceted with many interests. Favorite activities include volunteering, hiking, and kayaking. I also enjoy snow shoeing, exploring and traveling. I love, love love being in the mountains. Wildlife/nature photography is my passion. But I can also enjoy an evening out in a little black dress and pearls. While I’m not into movies, I do occasionally enjoy snuggling up on the sofa in front of a fire to watch a game. I’ve also been known to put on some music and dance barefoot around my living room, but it would be better if I had a partner. I’m also looking for someone to go rock climbing with and play squash with this winter, so if you enjoy those activities, let me know.”

I can try your suggestion with that other gentleman (I’ve forgotten who it was now), but it seems very similar to what I’ve tried many times without responses. I’ll try again. When I’m browsing the dating sites, I watch for several things…… a smile showing a positive attitude, doesn’t smoke, social drinking only, Christian beliefs, and is active and loves the outdoors. Often they don’t even give that much info, so I’m left guessing.

Read James’ tip that just came out about 4 reasons why Matthew McConaughey fell for his wife so fast. He (Matt) said he saw this aqua green figure floating past and asked himself, What was that? And he knew immediately he had to treat her with respect. There must have been an energy he felt before he really noticed her. So not sure how to create that energy. Appreciated the other points James pointed out about their relationship.

Again, Merry Christmas!
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, LOL, can you tell I’m bored today? It’s foggy, humid and cold (just below freezing) here today. 2:30 and the fog is STARTING to lift. Anyway, here’s a new attempt at a dating site profile. Any thoughts or comments?

Hi, there’s something that feels to me just a bit impersonal about dating sites, but I’m not meeting very many of you fine gentlemen in person. So I’m out here wanting to meet more of you. I like the old-fashioned dating when we went out on casual dates with many men to get to know them. So if you’re a true Christian gentleman with a positive personality, charming smile, loves being outdoors and is active and always up for adventure, please give us the opportunity to meet. No strings attached and no expectations, just a time to have fun and get acquainted.

If you’re wondering who you’ll find when we meet, here’s a little snippet of who I am: In someways I’m the girl next door. In other ways I’m not your average woman at all. I can be shy and quiet, but underneath that shyness, I’m warm, loving, caring and affectionate. (shyly) I do like hugs. I choose to focus on the positive and always looking for the best in someone.

Like a diamond, I’m many-faceted with many interests. Favorite activities include volunteering, hiking, kayaking, snow shoeing, exploring. I love, love love being in the mountains and wildlife/nature photography is my passion. But I can also enjoy an evening out in a little black dress and pearls, and while I’m not into movies, I do occasionally enjoy snuggling up on the sofa in front of a fire to watch a game. I’ve also been known to put on some music and dance barefoot around my living room. I’m also looking for someone to go rock climbing with and play squash with this winter, so if you enjoy those activities, let me know.

Thanks,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Here’s another one

i am gentle, i have a great sense of humor, searching for the right person to start a new chapter as couple. i enjoy outdoor and i like to keep healthy balance

And that’s all he says except his life in 3 sentences is “resourceful, accomplish, work hard.” This is a man I’d be VERY interested in. Only 2 pics. Good looking and has a nice smile.

What in the world do I say? How would I approach him?

Maybe

“Hi, You quite impress me. I admire a man who is resourceful and accomplished. I also really admire gentleness in a man. Not something I always see.

In ways I’m just the girl next door, but in other ways not your average woman at all. Like a diamond, I’m many-faceted and easier to get to know in person than in emails. One facet of me loves the outdoors and is always up for adventure. (big grin) You’ll have to discover the other facets yourself.
Smiles,
Rhonda
Thanks,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
I don’t know if you have access to Match or not. So if I were to contact a male who has a short paragraph about wanting someone without baggage and is drama free. The only other thing he says is he’d like someone with the same interests but doesn’t say what those interests are. His 9 pics are almost all out in the mountains hiking and snow shoeing. So how what can I say that would catch his attention. I look at profiles and my mind goes blank. 🙁 Any suggestions?

Thanks,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you for your comments and advice. Obviously its not working well as I haven’t heard anything more from Ken. And I’m obviously not able to create interest in my first messages as 95% of the time I get the silent treatment. So what kind of things can I write that will get responses? I’ll contact maybe up to 10-15 men in a week and not hear from any of them. Getting maybe 1 or 2 responses from that profile I worked with you on.

Thanks, Hal, the project manager I want to get on with, is in Edmonton till the 6th of Jan. I’ll wait till the 7th and then email him for an appointment. Joe, my current manager, is encouraging me to take the lead on this and “darken his doorway” and not wait for Hal to contact me. I feel pretty confident about this job and know what I can do for the project and I am planning on approaching it as, “I’m free to start on the 3rd of Feb. When can I come by to meet you and talk about your project plans and needs.” 🙂 Feed his ego a bit and tell him its my job to make him look good as a project manager and I’m ready to give that 110% and do my part to make his project a success. We’ll see how it goes. But I think I’ll approach it like I have the job and pretty much ask him when I can start and what would he like me to do first. I’ll be ready to share with him my plan of attack as Joe (current manager) tells me that Hal may not be that familiar with commissioning and turnover. LOL. One benefit of this position is I get to meet and work with lots of men. My initial impression is Hal will be really good to work for and I find the attitude of the project manager filters down through the rest of the team, so I’m expecting it to be a good project. I’m saying some prayers I’ll get it.

Have an awesome weekend!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Wow. Had no clue I was coming across like that. No, I’m pretty comfortable when I message a gentleman. I feel confident and a good catch. If I’m feeling insecure when I write, I’m not aware of it. I ask questions because I’m interested and want to know about him. And actually, Kenneth had talked about all those subjects in the message I was answering. I see each paragraph as different segments of a longer conversation. Does that make sense? If I were sitting with a gentleman for an hour or more, we’d talk about several things. I will definitely remember to shorten things up and ask only one or two questions at the most.

I don’t know what to think about Jennifer. I know it’s not me. She treats others that way, too. Last couple days she’s been really nice. But she’s done enough I don’t trust her. Thanks for the encouragement. LOL. Just went and spent $70 on boots and socks for a homeless man that I see almost every day. Paid an extra $50 for my little African orphan. She’ll now get a nice Christmas dinner, shoes, health care for a year and some other things. Trusting God will keep me employed. I have two strong possibilities and two more long shot possibilities. Won’t know anything till probably the middle of Jan. I’m actually looking forward to a new job. The project manager here in Calgary at least answers my texts and emails most of the time. Will email him and set up an appointment to talk with him when he gets back after the 6th. He seems pretty nice.

Have an awesome day tomorrow,
Smiles,
Rhonda

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