[Rhonda R]

Hi, Kanya,
Yes, I think you’re right. And I was starting to feel better when I was at home in Canada last year. I was working a normal 40 hours and was getting out to the mountains quite a bit. I was kayaking with a meetup group and active with the Calgary Christian Singles. All of that is gone now. I hope to head north tomorrow and check out a place I’ve been told there is some hiking. We’ll see. I do stay in touch with friends from home via email. LOL. I’ve got 3 20×30 pics on my walls of mountains and wild horses. 🙂 I’ve also got permission to get potted flowers for my deck. When we can get out again and this virus stuff blows over, if I’m still here, I’ll go on more swamp tours.

Have a super weekend,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
LOL. See…. I told you I was a robot and computer. And this robot model is getting older and circuits breaking down and sometimes outputs garbled info. LOL.

I had gotten 2 or 3 messages from a guy on OurTime that I would have continued to talk with if he had continued to write, but I was only half interested. Nobody I’m going to cry over. Like I mentioned, he’s not a Christian. I didn’t recognize any names on the Bible study group. The men I did see were married, so nothing there.

Being a robot and numb? My guess is its a mixture coming from total exhaustion and also a coping mechanism. I was doing better after being home for a year and working a normal 40 hours, then things fell apart again. I did find out there are “hills” about an hour north of here with some hiking trails. No hiking around here. It’s all swamp and I’ve been advised not to go kayaking here. People around here don’t appreciate nature for nature. All they know is hunting and fishing and using nature – not appreciating it. 🙁 Quite honestly, this social distancing isn’t anything new for me at all. I’ve been socially isolated for years and years. And that isolation may also contribute to the numbness. My release and outlet is the mountains, hiking, kayaking and I don’t have that here. I’m really not interested in socializing or dating here. Total different lifestyle and value system than I have. So, again, as usual, I’m alone.

I see China is loosening their regulations after 2 months. S Korea beat the virus and really flattened the curve there without hurting the economy. Unfortunately our leaders weren’t that smart. I’m not impressed with either Canada or the US in how they’ve handled this.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
I really don’t know how to describe that feeling. I’ve been like that for a long time, some times worse than others. I think a lot of it is – or was – from being a single mom, trying to take care of the boys and raise them while working 50-60 hour weeks. Just burn out. Nothing seems real. I function while not thinking or knowing what I’m doing. Have no feelings, no emotions, often feel like there’s nothing to live for. Part of it is also survival mode, yes. My body functions from programming – not me being aware of what I’m doing or thinking.

Don’t think there’s anyone in this Bible Study group I’d be interested in. I think most of them are married. Oh, it was one guy from OurTime I was half interested in, but he’s not a Christian and I haven’t heard from him in several days.

Ha, if I weren’t isolated enough, I am now working from home. But I’m thankful I have work! I’m hearing from the LA governor that it will be May before the shelter-in-place will be lifted. Yikes! LA is a center for the virus with the fastest growth rate in the country. Blaming it on Mardi Gras. Almost 2000 cases in this little state and I guess 34 deaths?

I am really kicking myself. Last March I had an invite to apply for a position with NOVA in Sarnia. It would have been with a team I had worked with before. I turned it down as I had just started the project with Keyera and didn’t want to leave them after committing to the project. Keyera was not a good project and it fell apart. If I had gone to Sarnia, I would still be in Canada, still have work probably through the end of the summer and be in good financial position to take a few months off if needed. Plus it would have been a good team to work with. That’s what I get for being reliable and keeping my word! This is one time I really wish I hadn’t! I really paid for it.

Going to be along spring and summer. At home I’d be able to go to the mountains, but here there is nothing to do, no where to go and no one to do it with – on top of the stay-at-home ban. Wouldn’t be as bad if I were married and had someone here, but alone in an apartment all day drives me absolutely insane.

Hope you’re doing well and staying safe and well.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Kanya,
Yes, the world has changed suddenly. Yes, very strange times. There have been pandemics in the past. This isn’t the first one. I did get on line for a little bit yesterday with the Bible study group. They had some technical difficulties, but still got to talk to one of the ladies for a bit. Don’t know anyone else in the group. The Bible study group uses Zoom. I’ve used Skype for a long time to talk with my boys. I do hear almost daily from a girlfriend in Calgary. Do get a little socializing at work still. All I can do is pray, pray, pray. I’ve gone totally into numb, zombie mode. Nothing seems real and I often don’t feel like I even exist. I just keep functioning like a robot.

Cool that you go to Banff. Isn’t it an awesome place? Although I’ve found it too crowded and too touristy the last couple years. When I go I avoid the town and go hiking elsewhere in the park. I’ve got some of my mountain pics up on my wall here. I do miss my mountains very much. Did find out there are “hills” about an hour north of here with some “hiking”. I might have to go check it out.

Thanks for the encouragement and suggestions.

Hope you’re still doing well.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. My subscription to OurTime is still active. Match expired and I haven’t renewed it. Just heard from a couple gentlemen in the last couple days. I suspect one is a scammer, but we’ll see.

Emotionally? Its no different than what I’ve struggled with before. Isolation isn’t new to me. I was totally isolated in Ohio. More because of lifestyle choices and interests than anything else – and personalities. Those people were not fun to be around. And actually, pretty isolated for most of my life. Most people in my industry are drinkers and a have a little rougher life style. Many of the men I work with are married. Here at least I have a good team to work with. I am very, very homesick and don’t know when I’ll get home again. But I also know God is in control and it doesn’t do me any good to worry about the future. He has always taken care of me and I trust He will continue to do so. Some of the Bible study groups from home in Calgary have gone on line. So while I can’t join for the whole study because of time difference and I’m up by 4:30 a.m., I can join for the first half hour of music and fellowship. I will start doing that this week. I still email people from home. I’m really kind of hoping something will develop with one of the men I just started talking with. Any suggestions on how to make connection on line?

How are you doing? How is this affecting you?
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Kanya,
Thank you. Didn’t see any notice of your response come in or I would have answered earlier.

Thank you for the compliments. I still have my home in Calgary. In this industry there’s a group of us that bounce around from project to project. Working construction is very mobile. Construction usually last 1-2 years then its done and its off to another project. All of us have a home base, but we work away from home. Normally projects will have a rotational program were we go home every so often. I just view these projects as temporary.

Right now Gonzales is under shutdown like everywhere else. We are still working at site but Worley is making provisions for us to work from home. I was supposed to go home to Calgary next weekend, but obviously that won’t happen. I just pray this will blow over quickly and things start getting back to normal in a month or two. My thoughts are the economic issues are going to be worse than the health issues.

Churches are shut down now. The only place I could find in Gonzales to volunteer is Goodwill and they, too, are shut down. There is no place to hike around here. Its all swamp. I hearing there are places to kayak but I have to find a place to rent a kayak. Just tried to find a meetup group in Gonzales and all I could find was partying groups in Baton Rouge. Its a total different culture down here.

Have an awesome day!
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi and Kanya,
How are things in your world? I hope all is well for you.

I’m getting settled in LA. Still have some things coming for the apartment. Usually someone is in my position about 6 months earlier on the project, so I got thrown into the project 6 months late and into a new software I don’t know with no training and expected to perform. Trying to get 6 months work done in 6 weeks. But my boss is very nice and understands. The rest of the team are all struggling with similar issues. Its not an easy project. But all things considered, the job is going well and I’ve got the software half way figured out.

I do have a nice apartment and the complex is nice. Some nice common areas, an outdoor hot tub, pool, a self-serve Starbucks cyber cafe, a couple grills, fire pit….. Louisiana is driving me crazy. No place to go hiking and no place to go kayaking. Nothing to do, no where to go. Like Ohio, the only thing people want to do is go drinking. So again, I’m feeling very isolated. There is no one here I’d even be interested in spending any time with. So homesick. Site assignment says I can go home every 4 weeks, but Worley just suspended all domestic travel. This hysteria over the corona virus is blown totally way out of proportion and absolutely crazy and insane. So I have no clue when I’ll get home again. Contemplating going back out on Match and OurTime just to have something to do and hopefully find someone to talk with.

Anyway, that’s the latest with me. Hope all is going well for you,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thanks. I start Monday, the 17th. I’m rushing today to get all the forms filled out, secure an apartment, make travel plans. Just got my site assignment yesterday afternoon, so couldn’t do anything till then. I have to leave tomorrow if I’m going to get down there on time, so its rather rushed.

Have not researched any meetup there yet. Will worry about that once I get there and get settled in. Suspect the social life is limited as I’m an hour from New Orleans in a very small town. Looks pretty rural. But I think it will be ok as the apartment manager I talked with is really nice, my manager is really nice and I’m looking for it to be a good project. LOL. Will let you know once I get there!

Been having good-bye dinners with friends here, so that’s been fun. Have another dinner with friends tonight.

Have an awesome day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

LOL. Thanks, Heidi,
Glad you enjoyed those goofy videos. I do enjoy being a kid once in a while. 🙂 Will keep you posted. Do not expect to do much dating in LA but do hope to make some friends and find people to do things with. I find a manager influences the whole project, so while he’s telling me this is a challenging project, it should still be good. He always answers my emails, treats me with respect and is patient and positive. It will be nice.

Have a super weekend!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, I haven’t cancelled yet. Kind of holding out to see what I’ll find in LA. Heading out probably next Wednesday. Haven’t got my site assignment yet, but I’m told its written for me to be there Feb 17. I am grateful to have work and already really, really like my new manager. He’s awesome.

Just so you get to know me a bit better, here are a few videos from a meetup walk yesterday morning. The guy in the one video with us acting silly is 71.

I haven’t grown up yet!

Still on hold for dating. I’m dreaming that one of the Canadians down there will be single and just my type! Chance of that happening is about 0 tonone, but I can dream, right?

Cheers,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Thanks, Heidi,
You’re the best. Yes, I’m sure hoping working conditions will be better this time. The last two projects have been negative, toxic work environments. Initial impression is Will will be good to work for. I will be down near New Orleans. Don’t know yet if I will stay on Canadian payroll or go to US payroll. When I was in Ohio, they set me up as a Canadian expat, so stayed on Canadian payroll. Would like to do that this time as well, but don’t know if that’s going to happen or not. It’s a temporary assignment. I get to come home once a month for a couple days. They will pay me a per diem for living costs. It will be good money. Will get Dustin’s school loan paid off then put as much money into savings as possible so I can be off work for a few months if I need to be. Will cross that bridge when I get to it. I’ll have more information tomorrow. Probably be heading down in a week or two. He wants me ASAP.

Ha Ha. No wonder I’m still single. I bounce around the continent like a superball. Plus working 50+ hour weeks doesn’t leave much time for socializing.

Thanks for checking on the transcript. Appreciate it.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Well, things are looking better today. Talked with the project manager in Louisiana. He’s talking to HR to get the process started for me to join the team. He wants me ASAP. Be good money. Too funny. Three of the guys I’ll be working with are Canadian. Looks like right now it will only be through October, but he is pretty sure it will be extended. Even if it is, looks like less than a year. Meaning short-term temporary assignment, meaning MAYBE I can stay on Canadian payroll. Does mean I’ll be home in time to keep my permanent residency – as long as I can come home and don’t have to go off somewhere else. But, MAYBE, MAYBE by that time I’ll have enough in savings I can survive even if I don’t work. We’ll see. God’s in control, so I shouldn’t worry about it. Will, the project manager, seems really nice, so should be a good project. Makes a difference if your boss is good!

Hope you had a good day,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Heidi,
Thank you for the advice.

With my work situation I’m going to have to cancel my subscription. Is there any way to get a transcript of our conversations before I cancel?

Thanks,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Thanks, Kanya,
I watched the video of the vision board. Sounds interesting. I’ll see if I can get something put together.

Yes, do have a lot of irons in the fire. So frustrating. I was to call the project manager for Possibility 1 Friday. I did. No answer and no return call. Called twice today with no answer again. My guess is he doesn’t have the issues worked out yet to talk with me. So keep waiting.

In the meantime, things have gone from bad to worse at my current job. That project is a total mess. I can’t do anything right. Everything changes as soon as I get it done. Ok, I understand adjusting and working with changing philosophies, but don’t treat me like I’m incompetent because I can’t read minds or make a couple mistakes. Plus I’m getting kicked out leaving a totally uncompleted project in a mess and that doesn’t feel good to me at all, but with all their changes not much I can do about it. Certainly do not feel appreciated or supported or valued. I’m not crying crocodile tears at all to be leaving, but I’d sure feel a lot better if I had something for sure to go to! I’m down to two weeks of work. I’m praying for some solid answers this week.

So may I run this past you? See if I’m totally selfish or if I’m sensing this right: Have a friend I’ve been talking with for 3 years or so. He’s made it totally clear he’s not interested romantically, but he keeps in touch. But most of the time its about him and his life. If I talk about me and what I’m dealing with he finds a way to quickly switch the conversation to his life. I texted to see if he had time to call the other day. (He only calls when he’s driving home from work. Too busy the rest of the time.) So he said he had to listen to a sermon before going to men’s group and asked if he could call the next night. He never called. That’s the 2nd time in 2 weeks he’s forgotten to call when he told me he would. I’m just feeling I’m really not that important to him. Am I being selfish? He certainly isn’t much support when I need it. I’m thinking I’ll pull away. I’ve been giving more than I’m getting and don’t have the energy to do that right now. Is that selfish of me?

Thanks,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Sorry to hear the hike wasn’t so fun. Wind and cold do make things miserable. Hope your weekend is better.

Ha Ha. We’re getting a heat wave by Sunday! It’s been down below -30c (-22F) with sometimes a high of -29c this last week. Pretty cold. Sunday its supposed to get to -3c (26F) and mid week a +4 (40F). Should be nice. More snow with the warmer weather, but that’s ok.

Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t treat Peter right. I haven’t heard from him and I haven’t contacted him, either. Probably a bit late now. It’s been a week. I’ll remember to be better next time.

This week has been a struggle for me. Tonight I am going ahead with my 90 min massage even though I’m out of insurance benefits and will have to cover the whole cost myself. Then I’m going to Centered Singles Jolly Java meeting. A Christian get-together sponsored by Center Street Church. Many of my friends from Calgary Christian Singles are also members of Centered Singles. Don’t know if anyone I know is going tonight or not, but doesn’t matter. Chance for me to meet new people.

So…… job update…..

Option 1: Had the interview I wanted Wednesday. The project manager is super nice. He said he hires for attitude over skills (which is what I figured from talking with him over the phone) – meaning he’ll hire people good to work with and it should be a good project. Interview went well. He said he needed me yesterday. HOWEVER….. the position he wants to put me in isn’t funded till a couple months from now. I didn’t quite understand if it would be funded end of March or September. Anyway……. Hal said he needs the position moved up and if he can move it up, he’ll hire me. So Hal would hire me, just got to get a time frame. I MIGHT…. MIGHT have some temporary work that could fill in the gap. Hal said he would have a conversation with the powers that be on his job yesterday and see what he could do. I was to call him today about it. I did, but he didn’t answer. I’ll call him first thing Monday morning. Still waiting.

Option 2: Joe, my Worley manager, is having a conversation with Ken, Keyera lead, Tuesday about some contract work Keyera wants Worley to do and I have the skills to do it and would 90% get the position if the contract goes through. I understand my conversation with Ken a week ago spawned a phone call with Joe and Ken will be meeting with Joe for a second conversation in Feb for additional contract work. But Joe said those contract(s) won’t be in place till end of Feb at the earliest, if he can get Worley to agree with the contract. The Worley people in Calgary are all about money, money, money and don’t particularly care about their employees or their clients. Joe may have problems getting Worley to agree to a smaller contract that doesn’t bring in big bucks. Still waiting.

Option 3: I’ve worked for many years with the lady that oversees all the turnover database work globally for Worley. She and I both report to the same lead in Houston. She called me saying there’s an immediate position in Louisiana and some upcoming options in Texas. She also needs someone to travel globally (New Zealand, Australia, where else did she say) to train. That’s what I joined her team to do two years ago then it all fell apart. Those positions would mean I would lose my Canadian permanent residency and my dual citizenship. She indicated she could wait on the travel training till I got my citizenship, but that won’t be till next October. On hold.

So still need lots of prayers. I’m grateful to have possibilities. God is very good. Heidi, I just can’t believe that God would bring me to Canada in 2012 when I was told I’d never be able to immigrate, help me get my permanent residency through at just the right time, help me buy a house in Calgary in 2017, provide work away from home in Ohio when there was no work in Canada, but bring me home from the project in Ohio in time to not lose my permanent residency and then dump me. Too many doors opened for me to be here in Canada for Him to slam the last one in my face. I don’t believe God operates like that. But I can’t read His mind, so we’ll see, but I fully trust He’ll get me work here in Canada.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Your positive support really helps. LOL. For some odd reason dating is the last thing on my mind right now. I have no clue where I’ll be in a couple months and my focus is on job hunting. LOL. Can’t understand why that would be……

Ooops Gotta run.
Have an AWESOME weekend!
Smiles,
Rhonda

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