[Rhonda R]

Good morning, Heidi,
I’m sorry the fires aren’t out yet. They do take a long time to go out once they get started, don’t they? Are they any more contained?

I have not asked him how he views God. I like your approach. He is an alpha male and approaching it from his perspective is a good idea. I feel for him right now. Work has really taken a downward turn. While he’s still working, he’s dealing with people who aren’t nice to work with and its very, very stressful. He needs to find other work. He gets pretty wound up and negative when he’s stressed. He’s told me that for most of his life he was not a nice person to be around and he’s changed in the last 5 years. He’s also really trying to put himself around positive, successful people and model them, which is good.

While I really want someone to share my relationship with God, I do not want a religious mate. Religion’s been crammed down my throat till I choked. Over and over I read in the Bible that God is sick of worship meetings, holy times, offerings while they treat other people like dirt. God is far more interested in us living honestly and being kind to others. And Robin is that, he’s honest and thoughtful. He’s particularly caring of animals. While he doesn’t know what to do and how to help, he’s particularly caring about the homeless.

I think I’ll probably stay here for Thanksgiving. Probably go to Phoenix for Christmas. I’d like to drive out, empty the storage unit I have there and bring a few things back. Depends on how much time I can get off. If I do that, would like to fly my youngest down for a few days. Hmmmmm. Maybe I’ll fly to Denver or take myself someplace else out in the mountains for Thanksgiving. I know Dustin and Alex will be spending time with her family and they aren’t people I’m really comfortable with. A little nervous traveling with COVID still raging, or at least the media claims its still raging. There have been so many false diagnosis that I don’t believe a word the media says any more. For all we know every flue case, cold case, etc, is being blamed on COVID. I’m totally fed up with the media. No responsibility at all and -100 integrity. Nothing but garbage.

Today is sunny and around 52 right now. But the sky is brown with pollution. I’ve had respiratory issues ever since I got down here in Feb. The rest of the state knows this area as Cancer Alley. So even when the sun is shinning, I have little desire to get out. Will probably head up to LSU Lake again this afternoon.

Have an awesome day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Yes, I’m noticing I have more peace dealing with issues like this year because of my trust in God. And that’s based on experience. I could tell you many, many stories of how God has led, protected and provided for me.

Uh, most of the time talk about God doesn’t come up. He grew up in a military family. Did not get along with his mom nor his dad. He said his mom did go to church. I know that people tend to view God the same way they view their parents. I wonder if that’s part of Robin’s distance from God. He has said he’d go to church with me and he said he’s open to a relationship with God. He totally respects my beliefs and is ok with my southern gospel music. I keep praying about it and what I’m hearing (again, unless I’m not listening well) is I should stay with him and just be a Christian and let him see what Christianity is about. I don’t think I explained that very well. I do occasionally mention what God has done for me and how I trust Him and he listens. Robin also doesn’t trust anyone. He lives by the saying, If its going to be, its up to me. Like me, he’s never had anyone he can trust. He isn’t anti-God, God just hasn’t been a part of his life. Well, I truly think God has worked in his life, he just doesn’t recognize it.

Are the fires out yet? God blessed us again. Hurricane Zeta missed us. We had some wind and rain, but no damage and did not lose power.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
So glad you got snow and its helped with the fires! I’ll pray for more snow! Glad your clients are home and the cat is safe!

Yes, very interesting times. I’m sure glad I have a God I can trust to take care of me!

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Wow, Heidi, I’m so glad you’re safe. The fires are noted on Googlemaps. That’s NE CO. I’m more familiar with the area west of there around Rifle and Grand Junction. I will pray for rain soon. I hope your friend’s home and cat remain safe. I know it seems horrible right now, but fire has a cleansing renewal function. In a few years there will be a beautiful, new forest in these areas. If you get a lot of snow this winter, the new growth could be beautiful next spring. I will pray the fires move away from homes and are out soon. I hope you’re feeling better. I’m sure wasn’t fun at all. Do you have an air filter for your house?

Ha. I’ll send you some of the rain we got yesterday and the 96% humidity we have today.

Prayers,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Kanya,
Thank you. That may be a possibility in the future. For right now I need to be on site and integrally involved in the team. However, Worley is moving to remote work-from-home options more and more. They are also growing overseas. While US and Canada are very slow, we have several projects globally and are getting new projects. Our Global Technical Services lead for the software I use wants me to join her on the global team. We team well together. She’s very good at the sales, demoing, licensing, setting up the initial installation of a project. Because of my on-site work, I have more skills in actually using the project and getting it set up for the individual project. This program is much more complicated and takes more technical support than the other program we used, so her plan is to get me to the global level to provide technical support for all the projects. If that happens I can work from home in Calgary. Actually, I joined the global team in 2017 to do just that, but then the bottom fell out and there wasn’t enough work for me so I went back to on-site project work. Organizational wise I’m still on the GTS team but working at the individual project level right now. The experience is excellent, though. I am helping our global lead out with setting up a project template so my name and skills are getting out there. I know God has a plan for me, and hopefully it includes going home for a while! 🙂

Enjoy your weekend!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Thanks for the link, Heidi, I’ll check it out. News about going home not as good as it initially sounded. I’d still have to stay in Canada for 2 weeks and I’m pretty sure the project won’t let me off that long. We’ll see. Know more in November. Yikes! Which is coming up very soon.

Heidi, are you safe? Are you near the fires? I haven’t followed them. Just see them in the news once in a while. I saw many people were evacuating.

Thinking of you,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Thanks, Kanya,
Yes, I’ve heard of it. My cousin who lived in Nova Scotia used one. I’ll look it up. And…… EmojiEmojiEmoji Jackie, one of my friends in Calgary just sent me a news link that Alberta is going to test-pilot a program where international travelers can have a COVID rapid test to lesson or bypass the quarantine time! Yay! Maybe I’ll get home for Christmas yet! We’ll see.

I can imagine PA can be very depressing during the winter. And I understand why your practice is full right now. There have been a few suicides in Calgary. Of course Calgary’s been hit worse than most everywhere else as it had no industry other than oil and gas, and that’s pretty much a dead industry right now. They’re not very smart. Not looking or trying to bring in other businesses. I don’t understand.

Thanks again for the suggestion on the light. I will look it up.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thanks for understanding. I looked at that link you sent me. I’ve been using some essential oils that are very similar to that. I have a diffuser in my bedroom I run at night with breathing oils. I notice this one has thyme in it though. Not sure if the others do or not.

I used to tole paint a lot. My dad wanted me to fix a welcome sign I painted a long time ago, as it had been outside an the finish and cracked. I actually found the same book in Ebay (amazing) and ordered it. Now I’ve got to find the time to drive half hour one way to Michaels to see if I can find a workable piece of wood – hmmmmmmm or see what I can order on line. I need more physical activity, though. I do miss that. I had bronchitis very badly the year before my oldest was born and my bronchial area is sensitive to allergies and pollution. You could see the haze within a half mile tonight. Some of it might be dust from the sugar cane harvest. Don’t know. Whatever it is, I really don’t want it in my lungs! Plus, by the end of the day, I am totally brain dead. My job is very mentally intensive and after beating my brains out for 10 hours non-stop, my brain totally shuts down.

I’m also trying to get a business going on the side – get some other income going so I can slow down a bit. I have a feeling I’ll be working over 50 hours/week now for a while. We’ll see. Anyway, it’s referring people to this shopping club with all natural products. I know you’re interested in the environment and natural products and would love to share it with you, but I figured that might be considered conflict of interest. If you’d like info on the company and products, I can send a link but don’t want to be unethical.

It’s snowing at home already. I love the first snow of the year. Its still 80-90 here with high humidity. Yuck.

Hope you’re enjoying your evening,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Kanya,
Thanks. I have no clue if the kayak rental is still open or not. Things seem pretty normal around here. It’s pretty much business as usual.

Things are still going good with Robin. He is so consistent, so committed and so supportive. Sometimes a bit rough and sometimes a little bit not a listener, but nobody’s perfect. I Skype and email with a couple girl friends in Calgary. I’ve been going up to LSU Lake the last 3 Saturdays. It’s a nice 4- mile walk.

Struggling with depression. Looks like I won’t even make it home for Christmas. This week will be 56 hours. It’s go to work go back to the apartment. A walk on Saturday. Pollution is so bad around here I sometimes hesitate to go out. The pollution has bothered my respiratory system every since I got here last Feb. I’ve gone to totally zombie mode to survive. Just a robot performing routine tasks every day. Oh well. I’m very grateful for a good job.

Hope all is well with you,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Kanya,
Thank you. Your validation really helps. I’ve kind of given up hope of getting home before the project is over. All of us have been extended to the end of the year with thought we’ll probably be extended into the new year. I hope to be home by January. We’ll see. Its been very hard. It does help that this is a good team to work with. And Robin being so consistent with his calls helps a lot, too. Its all in God’s hands. I have no doubts this is where God wants me, so I’ll just wait for Him to work things out for me to go home.

Yes, I do like to kayak. There are supposed to be rentals on the LSU campus, but I haven’t found them. The closest rental place I’ve found is 2 hours east of here. And its not at all like at home. I did go walk around the LSU Lake yesterday. Beautiful weather. It was pretty – for this area. Lots of cormorants, egrets and I saw a couple bald eagles. Lots of turtles.

Hope you’re enjoying this beautiful fall weather,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Thanks, Heidi,
LOL. Oh, I’m sore. Its surprising how fast I got out of shape. Today was very nice so went up to LSU Lake and walked around the lake. Only 4 miles, but it was really nice. In the middle of town, but still very pretty.

Thanks for the validation. Robin has been good for me. He sure helps dealing with being stuck here. And quite honestly, his values and the way he loves animals and how he treats people is more Christian than many Christians I know. I can see God has been working in his life even though he doesn’t realize it. Quite a while ago we did have a discussion about God and how He has lead in my life. Robin just said he wished I was with him so he could give me a big hug. I didn’t quite know what to do with that reaction. I just keep praying and try to listen to what God wants. That’s all I can do.

It has been hard on me the rejection from my family and the way they pressure me. I just do not find the God they worship in the Bible anywhere. And another thing that really bothers me is that most of their belief and most of what they teach is from Mrs. White, one of the founders of the SDA church. I think that’s dead wrong. We should look to the Bible and Bible only. But say anything to them, and they’re very defensive. I know they get to believe and behave the way they think they should, but the way they condemn me and pressure me makes it very difficult. I have to stay away.

Thanks again for the validation,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Good evening, Heidi,
Hope you’re able to get out hiking now. I talked with my friend in Seattle a week or so ago, and they got rain, so hopefully its put out many of those fires.

Weather is finally cooling off here, so I’m out “jogging” around our pond. I’m sore, but it feels good to be “running” again. Ha Ha. I’m slower than what I walked when I was in college, but at least I’m doing it. Running is the only things that’s ever helped me lose weight and it does improve my attitude, so will try to keep it up all winter.

I am guessing Robin will start taking some time off to do things with me when I get home. We talk a lot about traveling and doing other things. I’m getting the feeling he’d take more time off to do things if he had someone to do them with. He has gotten his motor bike out a couple times this summer – first time in a couple years, and he does go to the gym to work out a few times a week. I’m a work-aholic, too, so…. While I’m aware of the issue, I’m not terribly concerned about it.

Sigh….. how in the world do I explain my comments about not listening to God. Perhaps I should try to explain my family first. All 3 of my mom’s brothers are or have been pastors in the SDA church. All 3 of them are or have been teachers in the SDA schools. All 3 of them have been missionaries over seas. My parents have always worked for the SDA church or run their own “ministry”. My dad has had his own on-line “ministry” for many years now. My sister is taking over the “ministry” so of course, because I don’t participate in it, I don’t love God and I’m going to hell. I really don’t want to get into their extreme views – to the point where my sister wears long, straight, ankle-lenghth ugly dresses and her daughter home schools her girls. My sister feeds her dog vegan dog food. I just do not find the God they worship any where in the Bible. When I finally pulled away from my family and the SDA church and started reading the Bible on my own, I found a very different God than what I grew up with. So….. my family takes it as their personal responsibility to convert everyone. And often that includes more directive of the do’s and don’ts than sharing what God has done for all of us and letting God doing the influencing. So when I pray that God will speak through me and help me show Robin His love, I half expect God to give me all kinds of speeches and tell me I’m supposed to give him Bible studies, etc. But that’s not what I’m hearing at all. My family would totally condemn me for even talking with Robin as he’s not an SDA, but when I pray about it, its really strange. I almost feel a peace. This is the strangest relationship I have ever had.

Part of the reason I don’t stress out too much any more when Robin becomes more distant is he is so consistent. Our time to talk on Skype is 7:30 my time/ 6:30 his. He always texts before he calls to ask if he can call in 10 or 15 minutes, or a time a little later than 7:30. He’s only called once in 4 months without texting first, and he apologized as soon as I answered his call on Skype. He ALWAYS texts me earlier if he isn’t going to call. So even when he’s pulling away and not calling, he texts to let me know he’s working late or whatever he’s doing and won’t be able to call. That’s a pretty impressive record and really helps me trust him.

I have chattered on a lot tonight. Don’t know if I made any sense at all. Its difficult to explain what its like growing up in an extremely conservative religious home where religion was used to manipulate and control. I view it as very similar to a cult – you can only associate with other cult members and behave only like other cult members.

Have a awesome evening and weekend!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. I’m feeling better. I’ve gotten some sleep and the weather is actually cooling down and the humidity dropping. I’m going to try a little jogging tonight. I’ve known for a long time that my emotional state is directly correlated to how tired or exhausted I am. So when I’m exhausted and depressed, I ignore it and try to get some exercise and sleep. Aerobic exercise helps me sleep. Not having my usual outlets – hiking, kayaking, photography…. is wearing on me. So between working 50-56 hours a week, (plus another 7-8 hours of commute time), getting up at 4:30 in the morning and being cramped inside because of the weather has taken its tole. I often don’t sleep well, then I get exhausted, then I get depressed.

Robin is quite stressed right now from work. He had another big blow at work several weeks ago. He didn’t pull away as much as the first time for a couple weeks. The last 2-3 weeks, though, he’s been “busy”and distant. He’s a little grumpier and more defensive than usual, too. He only calls once or twice a week now instead of nightly like he used to. Sometimes I feel neglected and taken for granted (he spoiled me calling nightly). But I also understand what he’s dealing with. He’s told me he isn’t going anywhere and has also told me not to worry about it when he’s busy and distant. It isn’t me, it’s how he deals with work stress. So I don’t have the fear that I did the first time he pulled away. I know he’ll be back. Big question is….. I’m sensing he’s addicted to work. It feels to me like he uses work as an escape from things like loneliness. He’s told me he’s very lonely. He’s also told me even when he was married, he worked crazy hours. He also works 7 days a week. Hmmmmmmm. Dunno. He’s talked that he would take time off to travel with me or go places on Saturday with me. I wonder if he really will. This relationship is very strange for me. I keep praying about it – especially as he hasn’t/doesn’t have God in his life. But either I’m not listening very well, or God is handling this differently than all my religious relatives have always handled “witnessing”. I also keep praying God will speak through me and use me to show Robin His love, but again, maybe I’m not listening very well. What I get, and it might be just me, is I should stay with him and let God influence him. So………. Very strange. Something just feels very different about this whole relationship and I don’t understand it at all. Robin is not the type of man I would pick out, so why its gone so well, I don’t know. Just enjoying it and not worried about figuring it out.

Other good news….. I checked the passport site a couple nights ago. As of Sept 8, they had only processed all of what they had received in Feb and part of March. When I checked a few nights ago, the site said they had finished what they had received through June, so they are catching up. Yay…… maybe I’ll get it before Thanksgiving! Hope so! If so, I may ask for 3 weeks off at Christmas. We’ll see how busy the project is. They are so far behind, they are driving hard, and that may mean working through any Christmas break. We’ve all been extended to the end of the year, with the understanding we could easily be extended a couple more months in 2021. We’ll see. Again….. in God’s hands.

Time to go running. Hope you have a super evening,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
FINALLY got to our posts. I had to go to the beirresistible site and log in, then click the link. I’ve never had to do that before. Still not particularly impressed! Today would not be a good day for me to write. Last couple days I’ve been extremely depressed – and tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally LA is not good for me. All of us were just extended to the end of the year, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be extended again. Borders still closed – officially till end of October, but beat on the street is it will be January before they are open. Feelings are not facts and I also know that this exhaustion and depression will go away, so just hunker down till its better.

Hope things are going well for you,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thanks again for your thoughts. Always good.

No, I wasn’t unavailable to get even or in spite. I wanted to give him space and wanted to let him lead. I just knew I had to do something different than I had before. And I’ve read in many places from different coaches its good to be a bit unavailable. Quite honestly, I think we’re closer now than we were before. He’s talking to me about business plans, asking my opinion on his web site and his business card. Texted me today and thanked me for the “sole soothing.” 🙂 He is so consistent its pretty easy for me to trust him.

Gotta run. He’s calling in 15 min and I need to brush my teeth!

Smiles,
Rhonda

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