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Thanks, Spyce,
I’ll answer this more later, but you nailed it….. my sister doesn’t want to spend the money to get care for my dad to give herself a break because he would be angry with her. I’ll fill you in more on the family dynamics later. She’s not demanding, but very manipulative (just like my mom) and does it in such a way as to make me feel guilty for not helping. Thanks for listening. More later,xoxo,
RhondaHi,
When it rains, it dumps and floods. So Trav is unemployed, sick, no real employable degree, no insurance, struggling with just any kind of personal relationships. My sister just called me again about my dad with major issues this morning and not sure how to deal with him and his anger and unreasonable demands. Now she’s starting to ask me for money. I should be retiring this year but don’t have the finances to. I do have some money saved up for a new car as mine has almost 200,000 miles on it. My dad has money but she’s afraid to spend it on him as he wants to spend it on his religious ministry. He’s totally lost is capability of reasoning but is very demanding, angry, belligerent and she keeps trying to appease him and never can. I just texted her and suggested maybe she look at some medication. They are anti-medicine so don’t know how she’ll respond to that. What upsets me is she indicated he has the money to get some extra care so she can have a break but she doesn’t want to spend his money on that cuz then she’s spending his money and he won’t have it to spend the way he wants on his religious ministry. A religious ministry that’s very fanatical. I texted her that his money needs to go for his care whether he wants it to or not and could she get power of attorney or just tell him he’s spent it all and there’s nothing left. I’m feeling really manipulated. I really don’t feel I’m in much of a position to help as I still need to help out Trav and I don’t have enough for my retirement. What do I do? And I’m feeling sick – don’t know if its the weather or allergies or both, but major sinus issues that puts pressure on my ears making me dizzy that ends up making me sick to my stomach and the sinus issues gives me a major pressure in my head. Doctors don’t have an answer. Two major allergy attacks in the last 3 days and one is the worst I’ve had in years.Can I have a complete breakdown? Not sure I even want to live any more.
Hi,
Really fighting depression today. Three days off work is hell here. Nothing to do, no place to go, no one to do it with. Well, ok, I can go to Canatara Park, which I did, twice over the weekend. Got some really nice pics Saturday evening. Tried to find Rock Glen Saturday morning. Didn’t find it. Figured I didn’t quite go far enough. If I had gone one more kilometer I would have found it. Went back today. Boring. Humid. Friday afternoon I went to Canatara. It was quite warm and very, very humid. Got to feeling sick to my stomach and by midnight I was having a full-blown allergy attack. Sinuses totally plugged, ears ringing, dizzy and a pressure in my head. Same thing coming on tonight. I just do not do well with this humidity.Craig, the 35-year-old said he can’t continue the conversations any more. He said I seem very nice but he’s looking for more than a pen pal. Same thing the matching service said – long distance won’t work. Pretty much given up on a social life while I’m here. And job is boring, boring, boring. Not really doing anything and definitely not using my skills. Project is a mess and have no direction or leadership from the boss.
My youngest has not found work. I’m getting quite worried about him. He’s…. yeah, I’m worried about him. He needs some social skills. Has only 2 people he considers friends and I don’t think they’re good for him and are probably taking advantage of him. He was bullied very badly in middle school and high school and has a very poor self image. Also has too much of his dad’s personality. 🙁
Talked with my sister since she’s living with my dad and called for Father’s Day. He wasn’t available to talk with but I had sent a family pic for him and sis said it had come and she would give it to him. She said he’s lost his memory and much of his motor skills. Said he’s also gotten like the Jekyl/Hyde syndrome and becomes angry and belligerent at times. That’s not him at all, but he’s been having mini strokes for several years now. I have never been part of the family and definitely not part of the family for over 20 years. Feeling helpless. Sis is as bull-headed and stubborn as my dad so doesn’t do any good to say anything. Just listen and try to be supportive and that’s about all I can do.
So that’s my vent for today.
Hope you had a great weekend,
Smiles,
RhondaGood morning!
What? I was sure I responded to your last message. I know I did, but apparently it didn’t post. (sigh) Sometimes I’m sure computers have gremlins living in them that feast on digital bites!I will admit I do enjoy watching the successful couples on MAFS. I do pick up on things they do that make them successful. And I like watching a good love story. But when I watch them now, it will be with a different filter/perspective. I’m realizing much more if it is cast than what they’d like you to think.
Thanks for the compliment about work. Do I feel appreciated at work? Not really. I’m bored. Not using my skills at all. Boss is not a good leader. Project is not fun at all. I don’t like Sarnia. I think I’ll stay a year then see if I can find something back home.
Successful run with the rollerblading! 🙂 Last Friday did probably 1 mile without falling. A small stretch smooth blacktop and that was fun, but the rest rough blacktop, cracked, some smaller humps and elevation differences of a few feet. Then Wednesday night got out the blades again and went along the river. Maybe 2 miles. That was really fun.
So….. been talking with a gentleman on Zoosk all week….. Goofy me. I should stay away. He’s 35, works only part time and lists religion as “other”. After several conversations I asked him, “Just for curiosities sake….. have you noticed the age difference?” He came back saying, Yes. I noticed. Its a couple years. I just laughed. He does have a nice sense of humor. He’s from Scotland. Been in Calgary for 7 years. Traveled to all 7 continents for backpacking trips. Seems pretty much in touch with nature as I am. He had contacted me with a comment on my photos and it went from there. Do not know what to do with this. Don’t think it will turn into anything serious, but enjoying the friendship for now.
Ok. This time I’ll make sure this posts! Curious to hear what you think about this young man. He’s only 5 years older than my oldest boy. Don’t want to get into a relationship where I’m a mom again. Nor do I want to support a man again!
Smiles,
RhondaHi, Spyce,
LOL. Naive me….. I watch very little TV. I will remember that….. producers will always make you look the way they want you to look—for the ratings and not what’s right. I picked up on something else…… The couples read their “own word” vows to each other. Really interesting……. Two different couples, two different seasons, and some of the phrases were identical. And they weren’t standard phrases, so I’m sure they had coaching or help writing them. Definitely changed my view of those kinds of shows. So I’m guessing the producers definitely have a large influence on who makes it and who doesn’t. Not right.So still struggling on how to meet men…… good men.
Yes, I’ve come to a conclusion that there are worse things than being single! I was never physically abused, but both marriages were abusive mentally, verbally, emotionally, financially and sexually. And those are all pre-cursers to physical abuse and can do just as much damage.
Another win at work today. 🙂 Our group is in charge of managing the master punch list – things that are wrong that the contractor needs to fix before they are done. So one of the NOVA area representatives who works with the contractors called me and said he got a punch list file he couldn’t edit with comments. We have had problems with leads making comments and closing punches and sending them out to everyone but us, making it very difficult to manage a working, reliable punchlist. Big mess. Our team member had sent it out PDF so people couldn’t edit it. I asked how the NOVA leads and contractor leads were supposed to get comments back to us. He basically said he didn’t know (and wasn’t his problem). So it went to our boss. I suggested they send the Excel file out with a watermark across it saying it was an uncontrolled, unofficial copy. Everyone seemed to like that idea. So now we have a way (hopefully) of controlling what’s sent around and the people in the field have a way of returning comments to us. Hope it works! I’ll probably hear about it Monday.
I think I’m going to go pull out the roller blades. LOL. See if this old lady can manage some fun without falling. 🙂
Have an AWESOME weekend,
RhondaHi, Spyce,
Thank you. I do feel good now that I can choose not to get into a relationship or not to continue it. That wasn’t always true. I’ve been through two very abusive, painful marriages because I didn’t have the strength to get out until way into the marriage and I hit rock bottom. Now I’m not so desperate that I’ll put up with bad treatment or negative attitudes. So……. I’m still single.I think I’d do better if I were home and could meet people. I’ve had dates the year I was home and I believe I’m a good catch. I don’t do well on line. Not sure why, but honestly, 90% of the men don’t interest me. The ones that do and I contact don’t respond. I do better meeting people in person, I think, and that’s extremely difficult working away from home. I do quite a bit with different meetup groups when I’m home, so do make friends there. But when I’m home only one weekend a month…….. 🙁
Bouncing around like I do I have very few friends so no one, really, who can connect me with anyone. I WISH I had friends that could set me up. I’ve been very isolated for a long, long time. 🙁 The isolation is starting to get to me.
Wow. I found out that “reality” shows are only half real. The other half is how the producers set them up. This is true for MAFS as well. Yikes. Just listened to an interview with Bryce from last year’s MAFS in Australia. He was portrayed as a cheater and abuser. Had lots of drama surrounding him and open rumors of another girlfriend outside of the experiment. Melissa stuck with him and they are still together. But now that the experiment is done, he’s opening up about how the producers would ask the same question 5 different ways then edit the show with the response they wanted. They also had his acquaintances (that the show portrayed as his friends, not work associates that they were) feed the cheating rumor so they would have a story line. He said he and Melissa asked to leave the show because of all the bad treatment, but weren’t allowed to. Both of them are now seeing counselors dissociated with the show. Melissa said several times she didn’t want to hear anything more about the rumors and that she knew the real Bryce, not the one the show was portraying, and that’s why she stayed. Bryce came across as a totally different person in this interview than he did in the show. I can’t believe the producers would do that and treat someone like that. Makes me wonder now how much of that drama is real and how much is stirred up and created by the producers. Yikes. But I do like watching clips of the couples that make it and are a success. 🙂
Smiles,
RhondaHi, Spyce,
Thanks. Warm and very humid here. One of those days you end up taking 3 showers! My neighbor partied loud till 2:30 this morning, so I’m tired and grumpy. It really throws me off for several days when they do that. 🙁I met Rod at a Christian Singles Meetup in March, 2019. He had just lost his wife a couple months earlier. Had a few dates with him. But then discovered we rode the same C-train into downtown Calgary for work so we pretty much rode together for almost a year. That gave me the opportunity to see him on an every day basis. It seemed to me he had a pretty negative attitude. A bit of a drama queen where everything is horrible. Maybe a bit of a chip on his shoulder. And while he was younger than me, he wasn’t keeping up with me at all. He also isn’t the outdoors person I am and certainly not as active. But I think it was more the negative, opinionated attitude that prompted me to walk away more than anything.
Broke off another relationship last…. fall. Never met the guy but we were on Skype every night for 3 or four months. Robin had some good qualities, but he was also on the defensive side and also had a bit of a negative attitude. He also worked 7 days a week. When I told him I was coming home for Christmas he really backed off. Then as things got worse with COVID and stresses increased with his work he withdrew. Every night he’d text…. Can’t talk tonight. Can’t talk tonight. He also wasn’t a Christian. He said he was open to getting to know God, but one night when I asked if his stresses might be easier if he had a friend….. he cut me off and snapped at me that he didn’t want anything to do with God. He was 62 and had to handle this himself. So between that and his withdrawing and his attitude getting more and more negative, I decided I was seeing too many red flags and a serious relationship wasn’t going to work.
Hope you had a great day, too.
Smiles,
RhondaGood morning, Heidi,
Thanks. While I’m not particularly enjoying this job, at least it seems to be going ok and I’m staying out of trouble.I’ll have to admit I’m very grumpy this morning. Neighbors were partying till 2:30 this morning. My landlord agreed to buy sound proofing panels and I’ll put them up. They are square foot panels so I’ll get him a quantity estimate this week.
It’s high 80s this week with high humidity. Not fun. And I’m finding there’s really no place for a good 5-mile hike around here. All short walks. Between the heat and humidity and no place to go……… like Louisiana all over again. 🙁 Went to order a treadmill. Got a nice on in Louisiana for $250. Its not available in Canada. Anything close is over $500 here. Anywhere decent to go is well over 2 hours. I’ve got Friday afternoons off so if I could go camping it would be ok. Head out Friday afternoon and come back Sunday morning. But without being able to camp…….. Stupid. There’s very little risk of COVID transmission in the campgrounds so no reason for them to be closed.
Of course now that Ontario is talking about opening up the media is posting all kinds of articles about a 4th wave coming. And all kinds of talk about new variants. They can’t let it go. Quite annoying! Look. US is almost completely open and we’re still in major lock down. Stupid.
Haven’t talked with Trav since he got to Phoenix. He let me know he arrived safe and that’s the last I heard. I’ll see if I can contact him later this evening or tomorrow.
Smiles,
RhondaOh, P.S. Overhead Andrew (boss) today say something to somebody about….. “we already got that done and covered. Rhonda’s ……” He was in his office a ways from my desk but I heard my name and a couple words before it. Sounded like someone was asking him about something and he said I already had it taken care of. Not sure what it was but made me feel good. He never came and said anything to me so not a clue. So far I’ve managed to stay on his good side. Want to keep it that way.
Hi, Spyce,
That sounds like a good plan – except I lack spaces to meet singles. That’s really difficult to do when I’m away from home. I meet people here, but really not interested at all in getting involved with anyone here. The mountains are way too much a part of who I am. I’ll make it to 2 or 3 meetup activities and get out on some trails or kayaking the reservoir. Sometimes I meet people there. The year I was home I had several dates. Walked away from a gentleman who wanted a relationship. I guess I should “practice” here and hone my making friend skills here to use when I get home.Sometimes I can be outgoing and easily meet people. Sometimes I can be very quiet and blend into the background. Depends on the situation. So I just need to get out more rather than sit in my apartment! If weather’s good I’ll get out this weekend. Want to go to a dog park and take action photos of the dogs. I think that’s a good way to meet people, have some fun and maybe make a little extra cash. Will let you know how it goes.
Smiles,
RhondaThanks, Spyce,
LOL. Love your humor! Yeah, I have no clue why that match maker was bragging to me he had men in their 70s…… He obviously didn’t take the time or interest to figure out who I was. I will have to venture out a little more on the age. I’ll have to admit I am attracted to younger men. I know you mentioned some singles groups on FB. Did you have any specific ones in mind?LOL. I wish Canada had a Married at First Site. I know Heidi said that show is painful for her to watch and I totally agree many couples are not fun to watch at all. But there are some that are really fun….. Australia’s Cam and Jules, Johnny and Kerry, Patrick and Belinda…. Another couple I found very interesting is Martha and Michael. Still together. There is one clip where he threatens to take away all her makeup (she’s, what do I want to say….. she had plastic surgery in her 20s, obsessed with make up and how she looks). That had the potential to destroy their relationship, but instead of getting mad and upset at his threat, she turned it into a game and hid a bunch of her makeup in places he wouldn’t find. Melissa and Bryce is another couple. He continued a relationship with a girlfriend after he “married” Melissa. It was a continual source of gossip and talk at the dinners, etc. He also wasn’t the most complimentary to her. But she steadfastly stood by him, refused to leave because of the rumored affair. They eventually made it. They’re living together. He’s moved to her city, and they are planning on getting married for real. I’m wondering what she did to make him leave his affair and stay with her. All I know is that if I want to meet someone, I’ve got to get out more and quit sitting around the apartment! Maybe I need to get really active on Facebook. Singles sites don’t work for me.
So far there’s only one meetup when I’m home and its to paddle a reservoir 2 hours away and for some reason, he’s planned it later in the afternoon. I have to fly out the next day, so not sure if that’s going to work for me or not. We’ll see.
The city park here is a good place to meet people. Every time I’ve been there I’ve stopped and talked with several people. Lots of birders and photographers.
Smiles,
RhondaHi, Spyce,
Thanks. I agree with you on that matching service. Wasn’t impressed at all so won’t go back. No theme I don’t think, just called Personal Match Making, or something like that. He was bragging he had lots of men in their 60s and 70s. Not interested in anyone more than maybe 1 year older than me. I’ve kind of hesitated going too much younger as I figured the men wouldn’t be interested in dating an older lady. But you’re right. I am very active. I went on a couple dates with a gentleman in is mid 50s and he wasn’t keeping up with me at all. I backed off on that one for other reasons, but that was one of them. Maybe I should try contacting younger men. ?? Dunno. I don’t think I look my age, and I definitely don’t act it. Have responded to a couple profiles but have gotten the silent treatment. I have no clue why.I like you’re idea. Next time I go out should focus on just having fun rather than trying to impress him. I’m going home for the Canada Day (July 1) long weekend. Hoping to get out kayaking and hiking with some meetup groups while I’m home so will let you know how it goes.
Smiles,
RhondaThanks, Heidi,
Yes, yesterday did feel good. It really was a surprise when Carl walked in. Was not expecting that at all. I’ve come a long way. I can think back when I was told I was very difficult to work with Was yesterday really something I did or was it just coincidence? Dunno. But whatever it was there were positive actions from men. So whatever it was, I was glad. (Big grin) I’ll bake cookies tomorrow and take them with me Monday when I go meet with Carl. I’ll make enough for our trailer and enough for everyone in the trailer where he is. Hey…….. LOL I’m not above bribing co-workers when I need assistance and help from others (big grin). Not sure why I have a lot more success with men at work than in my personal life. But I’ll keep practicing with the men I work with — all of them married. Very interesting dynamics in our trailer. I’ve noticed both Andrew and Doug (another co-worker) tend to go in heavy-handed and authoritarian. Dan and Dan (two Dan’s on our team) are both really nice men, but approach the work from a man’s in-charge mind set. I think its just a male way of handling things. There are a lot of walls and distrust between contractors and our completions/turnover (turn a construction project over to the owner to commission and startup). So I have some walls to break down. Quite honestly the way some of our team members act, its no wonder. Yikes!Had a good day today. Patti (friend who worked on the R3 project with me in Alberta and is now here in Sarnia on this project) met me in a park. We walked and talked and I took pictures today for a couple hours. It was good to see her again. Still learning my new camera and having to learn new editing software. Have to get ready this week for my camping trip.
LOL. I almost spouted off with the guy from the matching service. (smirk) He said his male clients wanted someone they could go for coffee with every Wednesday evening. Ok, ok. I know it was an example and he was saying his clients wanted face-too-face interaction rather than zoom interaction, but LOL. I’m sorry, Heidi, but I got the pic that his clients were all older men looking for the easy life and wanted to just sit around. BORING! I’m looking for someone to take me kayaking down the river, hiking in the mountains and snowshoeing at Elbow Falls or Moose Meadows in the winter and go on grizzly bear tours in the fall. Oh, yeah, and play squash and go indoor rock climbing when the weather is bad. LOL. I wonder what Mr Matchmaker would have said if I had told him that. Didn’t get the chance to. He was definitely wanting to do all the talking and was not interested in listening to me at all. One thing, though, I’ve got to quit sitting around this apartment all the time if I want to meet someone! I sure don’t sit around when I’m at home. When I’m home, its go, go, go. Hey…. so how would I word it to inspire a man to take me on a kayaking river run?
Thanks again, Heidi, for the encouragement. I’ll remember what you sand about inspiring a man to do what I want rather than trying to push or force. I’ll keep trying to hone that skill. Thanks.
Uh oh. Sounds like another party night next door. Hope not!
Smiles,
RhondaHi, Oooops. I thought I had answered that last message. Sometimes I think if I had one more brain cell it would be very, very lonely!!! I’m losin’ it!
Yea, I’d love to be home, too. Bought the house in 2017 and have lived there 1 year since then. I’ve been home a whole sum total of 3 weeks, 2 days in the last 15 months — and two weeks were quarantine time. 🙁 But my job here goes to Oct 2022, so it won’t be for a while.
I can’t remember which coach it is that has people go on a fake date when they start with him. Might be Jason Silver, Matt Boggs or a Carlos ??. I think that’s an awesome idea.
Quite honestly, I was not impressed at all with the phone call with the matching service in Calgary. I heard several red flags. If he had been a potential date, he wouldn’t have made it to the first date. He also put me down because I don’t answer phone calls I don’t recognize. He said his male clients will call. If they don’t take the time to call but text, he says they aren’t interested????? I don’t think I’m out of line at all to request an initial introductory text so I can put them in my contact list. There were some other things that raised red flags for me as well. I won’t be calling him again, even when I do get back home.
Did have a good day today. Got a phone call yesterday from a lady I worked with on the R3 project 2014-17. She welcomed me back and said she was glad to hear I was coming on this AST2 project. She said I was just the person for the job and I had a tough road ahead of me to straighten them out. Really made me feel good that she remembered me and had that much confidence in me. She’s working on this project but remotely from Alberta. She said she’s going to try to visit later this year. I told her to let me know a bit ahead of time and I’ll set up an R3 project reunion as there are several of us from R3 on this project. Tomorrow I’m catching up with another lady from the R3 project who is here in Sarnia. Should be fun.
Had a couple interesting things today…… My team needs some info from a lead (Carl) on the construction side of the project. I was told we often don’t get much response from him and did not get an encouraging report about him. My boss (Andrew) emailed him yesterday and asked him to set up an appt with me and another co-worker (Dan). No response from Carl. Dan emailed Carl yesterday, and again, no response. We need the info by Monday, so since Dan went home for the weekend, I emailed Carl this morning. I introduced myself, let him know I was new. Let him know we were trying to complete and close out the work on the Sub 1 and switchyard and I had been told he was the man with the answers and I needed his expertise. Would he have 15 min to half hour to talk with me Monday and if he would let me know where his office is, I’d come over there. Probably 2-3 hours later he walked into our trailer office and asked for me. He said he would have time Monday and we set up an appt for 1:00. I sent out the meeting invite out in Outlook and he accepted it about half hour later. That felt pretty good to get a response from him when others hadn’t. 🙂
Later this afternoon I was asking Andrew about turning over some civil work systems/subsystems. At first he was saying, No, we can’t, but as I kept asking questions and saying, well, this contract is for this and these foundation and earthworks subsystems are for the same areas, so maybe can we turnover these subsystems and start showing some progress? So after 5 min or so discussion, he says, yeah, I think that would be a good idea. Let’s see if we can chase those next week and get those turned over. Feels like I may be winning his respect and confidence a bit. He has a reputation for being really hard on people and yelling at them, but so far, he’s been decent to me. I want to keep it that way. So being he’s the boss and he’s also a dominant, alpha male, I approach him with questions more than statements. Like the other day I asked him…. Sub 1 is up and running so have we issued a Turnover of Care, Custody and Control (TCCC) to the owner company (NOVA)? He said, No, but that’s a good idea. Let’s chase that and see what all we need to do that. So again, that interaction felt good.
Ha Ha Now I just wish I had the same type of success in my dating life as my professional life! Sure wish I knew how I was coming across and why I’m not having success there.
Have an AWESOME weekend!
Smiles,
Rhonda
