[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. Yes, the day tour of Rotterdam was fun. Christine is very educated and very intelligent. She has a degree in history and also journalism and has worked some pretty high positions in climate adjustment and water management. First place we went was Port of Rotterdam. The New York Hotel (old building) was there and the original offices of Holland America (ship company). There was also a small monument of a bombing site from WWII. The city has put lights in the sidewalks at all the bombing sites. Rotterdam was bombed heavily in WWII. They call the lights the Ring of Fire. The monument showed a map of the area that was bombed. I’ll send pics of the monument and the new buildings right across the street from the old buildings. Also went to the Pilgrim’s church where they met and where they planned their trip to the New World. That was quite interesting. Drove through some parks and then went to Scheidam, a small, older town west of Rotterdam. Walked along there and ate lunch there. We also stopped at a floating farm. They made a big barn on a floating platform and then there are walks for the cows to get to a penned area on land. There was also a bank of floating solar panels right beside the floating barn. All kinds of canals through there. In Scheidam the canals are lined with old, decommissioned sailing barges that are now house boats and people live in them. Christine did say she would like to do something again. She was going to look up the seal colony in the Port of Rotterdam. That would be fun. But she’s also married with a 16-year-old daughter at home, so probably won’t do much with her.

I didn’t join the kayak club so won’t go again unless I go down to De Beisbosch and rent a kayak there.

I’ll take the train somewhere this weekend. Haven’t figured it out yet. A week from Thursday is a holiday and the office is closed Friday, so need to figure out something for that weekend. Hoping to go on a seal tour somewhere, but need to get that booked and transportation planned.

Yes, Joep is just a friend for now. We’ll see what happens when I get home. Aleks was in Vancouver this weekend. He travels there a lot as he works in a clinic there as well as a clinic in Calgary. I gave him my Skype ID and he said he would contact me on Skype sometime. I’ll send him my email, too, as my subscription will expire in a week or two and I won’t renew.

Things are looking better here. Just got word I will start on another project and Bob says I can work 45 hour weeks (straight pay) and an occasional 50 hour week. So that will help. Ha Ha. After getting the silent treatment for 3 times, I got an email from Ken saying the Calgary position is still open and they have another position in Calgary/BC on a pipeline, as well as the one in Spain and one in Atlanta. So we’ll see. I told him I’d be interested in the Calgary job or the Calgary/BC job.

Hope you had a good day.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Yeah, thinking I won’t hear anything more about that job in Calgary. I’m really disappointed. I’m not impressed at all that he doesn’t answer my emails. I guess on to more job hunting.

As far as turning down the job in Austin, there were several things
1) It came in suddenly and they wanted an interview that afternoon and said they wanted someone immediately. That kind of scared me off.
2) I don’t want to go back to the States and definitely not to Austin
3) I felt I would be going from one place I didn’t like to another I didn’t like. True, money probably would have been better, but no guarantees on a living out allowance or relocation costs there, either and I felt I really wouldn’t be gaining much and at that time I was still hoping to hear back about Calgary.

Today was awesome. Christine and her daughter picked me up about 10:45 and I got back at 5. She said I was her guest and we got drinks at the Port of Rotterdam at the historic New York Hotel. Got lunch at a little cafe in Scheidam. It was a very interesting day.

Yes, Joep is just a friend now. But he is so thoughtful and kind and he has a way of making people feel comfortable around him. Not thinking of dating seriously, but do enjoy taking with him and enjoy his company. Yes, he did have a glass of wine every night. At this point he’s just a friend and I don’t know that I’m thinking anything beyond that.

Tried to call Aleks a couple times. Calls never went through. Said the signal was too weak, so maybe he didn’t have good coverage. He’s in Vancouver, though, so thought he would have, but different carriers in Canada have different coverage. Not sure why call wouldn’t go through. Never had that happen before.

Got some good pics Friday evening. First cygnets were out and got some good swan family pics. First grebe chick hatched and was riding on parent’s backs. Got some good pics there.

Saw something interesting. A week ago I noticed a pair of grebes hanging very close to a coot nest, almost aggressively. Coots didn’t pay too much attention them and the male didn’t try to scare them away. Finally the grebes went a little ways away. So Friday I noticed now there is a grebe nest about 6 feet from the coot nest. The coot eggs have hatched and both parents were off the nest and feeding the babies out in the water. Those crafty, naughty grebes were going over to the unguarded coot nest and stealing twigs and reeds to build their nest. Coots would bring in twigs and reeds to keep their nest built up and the grebes would come steal them. Lazy grebes!

And its my bed time. Enjoy your day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi,
How are you? Hope you’re enjoying your weekend.
Update time……

Friday had an interesting conversation with Randy. He called on Teams (also working for Worley) I worked with him in Louisiana two projects ago. I learned to really respect him. He said he also got called about the job in Spain from a different company I heard from, so he thinks they are both bidding on it. So companies want names and rates to put in their bids when they bid on a project, so that is PROBABLY what happened with the job in Calgary. I doubt I’ll hear back from Ken again. Randy said he’s dealt with Ken and True North (his company) before and it didn’t go well. So it makes me wonder about the job in BC. That may also have been just for a bid. Makes me wonder if I would have actually gotten the job.

Ha Ha. Thought I would head to National Park de Meinweg today. It’s about 3 3/4 hours on the train. But when I was planning it yesterday, the ap said there was maintenance on every route out of Rotterdam. Finally figured out a route that took over 4 hours so headed out this morning. Ha Ha. Got on the train and started looking for routes home and EVERY place I looked it was Trip not available, trip not available, trip cancelled, trip cancelled. I panicked and got off in S’Hertogenbosch. Went to St Johns Cathedral and walked down the canal. Got back to the station only to find the ap said there were no trips. So much for the ap. Found an information board and found a train back to Dordrecht. Once I got to Dordrecht, got a train home. National Park de Meinweg will have to wait. Looking forward to tomorrow. Christine, a friend I met in the kayaking class, has offered to take me sightseeing in Rotterdam. She and her 16-year-old daughter will pick me up at 10:30. Should be fun.

Got up the courage today to call Joep. It was good to talk with him. He seemed glad to hear from me and said to call any weekend. Ha Ha. Maybe I should have stayed there. Steph, the girl that was so difficult to get along with is gone. She didn’t last long. Garry, my boss there, is leaving. He also said one of the NOVA engineers had a stroke a couple weeks ago. He died this week. He was only 43. So sad.

Not sure I even have 40 hours worth of work next week. Getting frustrating. My Holland boss said they need someone full time on another site and was going to talk with Bob about it but haven’t heard anything. Need to come up with 40 hours of something next week. I really don’t know why they brought me over so soon. Bob said he wanted me to “align” with the projects. Not sure what he wants me to align and not sure how long he thought it would take me to “align”. The projects really aren’t ready for me till June and some data not ready till September. ??? But not finding anything at home. Need to continue looking.

Enjoy your day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Well, I just turned down a job with Tesla in Austin. Maybe I should have gone. Would have solved my money issues and I probably would have gotten home once a month, but they wanted the interview right now and I would have had to leave immediately and I really have no desire to move to Austin. Still holding out for that job in Calgary, although I haven’t heard back from Ken. He asked me last week if I’d like to go to Spain. I said it depends on salary, length of contract, if they pay an LOA and if they pay relocation costs. Said I’d prefer the one in Calgary and asked if it was still a possibility. Have not heard back from him so don’t know what to think.

Yes, I see that Sonny Leone has been suspended quite a few times for reckless riding and for abusing the horse. I also wasn’t impressed with the way they were showing him off to the media the next day. They had a chain running through his mouth. Usually the halter chain goes under the chin, but they had it in his mouth. I see the horses were drug tested so we’ll see what those results are. I’m not a fan of horse racing. It’s corrupt and many times the horses are abused.

Ha. My sister just wrote me saying she’s having more problems with my dad. He always has to be right and won’t help or pitch in if it doesn’t come from him or its not his idea. She said she’s talked with quite a few people and they’ve all said the same thing – he always has to be right. Then she said she remembered I said the same thing and wanted to share my observations with my dad. I said No. I also know that they are in a fight on how to run “The Ministry” and there’s been disagreement about money and other things around the house. Sounds to me like they’re are in a big fight on who’s right and who’s going to run things. I could sense her wanting leverage to use on him and I won’t go there. She said she didn’t know if it was from all the mini strokes he’s been having or if it was long-term. Come on…. if I remember him being that way and other people from other places remember him being that way, its long term, not from the strokes. I just shared my thoughts with her (from that approach – these are my thoughts) that he’s never been happy and this stems from a low self-esteem and self-worth stemming from his abusive childhood and he’s insecure. I said confronting him with his attitude and trying to get him to change will only make things worse and suggested approaching him indirectly rather than directly and suggested she do some reading on how to get along with difficult people. I sent her 3 links on how to deal with people who are always right. I seriously doubt she’ll listen to me. She never does. I feel bad and feel guilty for not communicating with them more, but I can’t deal with the cult mentality, the mind games and the drama that goes on there.

Off for a walk. I’m getting really bored walking around the lake, but that’s about the only place to go.

Oh, it was beat, drilled and pounded into me growing up that girls don’t call guys. I really prefer to be called. But he can’t call me as I only have a Dutch number now. I can call as I have Skype credit and can call any number in Canada, land or cell. Neither Aleks or Jeop have answered my last emails. 🙁

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. I needed that. And you could be totally right. I may not know why I’m here yet. I went in to the office today instead of working from home. I do like going in to the office where I can interact with people. I need to do that more so I can be more involved in the projects I’m working with. Part of the reason I came over here is for the job itself. I know I have the skills to set up a good program for them and that is rewarding. But I feel much better about it when I can get personally involved with people on the projects. Had one person ask to have an informal walk through of what SmartCompletions could do for this project with actual project information. I think he set up a meeting for 2 weeks from today. Got a call from Ron, my Netherlands boss that hired me, but I couldn’t talk as there were people all around me and when I went to a meeting room I lost internet. For some reason my WiFi in the office quit working, so he’s calling again tomorrow. But he asked twice if I was ok. I did appreciate that and will talk with him tomorrow and see if Worley won’t cover those ERES costs and if there may be some other jobs I can do to get some OT.

Yes, just heard from Aleks today. I do appreciate his willingness to talk with me even though I’m in The Netherlands. What I hear is that he’s more interested in quality than convenience and that’s a big plus to me. I’ll ignore my fears and training not to call and call him this weekend. He talked about traveling this year. It would be fun (and scary) if he came over and traveled with me for a bit. LOL. We’d get to know each other pretty quickly.

Yes, poor Trav. He’s such a good kid and struggled so hard the last year. Not been a good year for him at all. We did talk that he gained experience from the work even though he lost it. He is very talented artistically but doesn’t seem to want to pursue it as a career.

You’re right. Really enjoyed the R3 project in Red Deer (2014-2017) but then the project in Ohio (2017-2019) was HORRIBLE! There 18 months when I was supposed to be there 9. Project was HORRIBLE and very toxic and the area was bad as well. Then I was home for a year (2019-2020) working for Keyera. Project was bad (toxic in the Keyera environment) but my Jacobs boss was supportive and I was home where I was involved in meetups, made friends, kayaked, hiked, camped, explored with lots of photo opportunities. 20-21 I was stuck in Louisiana. Project was good and team was good, but area was driving me nuts and couldn’t get home because of COVID. 21-22 in Sarnia was much like Ohio. Toxic bad project and bad area. So I’ve only had one year home in five when I was really home and could be me. Now that I’ve found some free places to go, its a bit better and I will focus on enjoying my time here. Will keep praying and see what happens. But if Ken comes back with a decent offer for that job in Calgary, I’m taking it.

Thanks again for the reality check,
Rhonda

Oh, P.S. Did you see Rich Strike win the Kentucky Derby? I’ve just watched a couple youtube clips. Not into horse racing but I love, love, love riding and training horses and that was an incredible run. There’s a youtube out from the overhead drone showing how he came from behind to win the race. Pretty incredible to watch.

[Rhonda R]

Hello,
Well, it was an interesting Monday. First, my boss (Belgium) backed me up. He talked with my Netherlands boss (who can actually do something but I never talk with or work with). Bob said Ron was going to check into why HR was deducting those charges. I didn’t hear anything more today so hopefully tomorrow.

So Ha Ha. Got an email from Ken (contact in Canada that has the job in Calgary). He said they just had a project come in this morning in Spain and asked if I would be interested. I said, LOL, never say never, depends on pay, if they will pay a living out allowance, if they will cover relocation costs and how long the contract is for. Said I’d really prefer to be in Calgary and asked if it was still an option. Haven’t heard back.

Poor Trav. Talked with him this morning. He said he had done an animation for me for Mother’s Day. Spent 42 hours on it. Was down to the last couple seconds of it and the program crashed and corrupted the file and he lost everything. Poor kid.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hello,
Well, (sigh) I bit it and paid $99 to talk with Aleks again. It was stupid of me not to get his phone number as soon as he gave it to me. That was an expensive mistake. 🙁 But I do want to talk with him more.

Thought I’d go to Lage Bergse Bos yesterday. It’s a natural area about 5 k from here. Ha Ha. Took the bus to Alexander station only to find out that apparently busses don’t run to Bennehoff (nearest bus staton to Lage Bergse Bos) on the weekends. So turned around and came home and went over to Kralingse Plas. Got some more good pics. Ha Ha 1200 in 3 hours. The camera takes 20 frames/second, so they add up fast. Will post some later. Today went over to Zaanse Schans. 2 hour train ride over there. Its a free outdoor museum with several windmills and traditional Dutch houses. Watched a wooden shoe demo, tasted cheese in a cheese factory, watched a mill work. It was kind of fun. Been more fun if I had someone to share it with.

I’m petrified to talk with Ron about the 1200 EU Worley is back charging to me. Whenever I stand up for myself I usually get beat up and punished more. But I really feel Worley should pay for it. I’m still feeling angry about it and I feel they are stealing from me. But I’m sure I’ll lose.

I’ve decided what to do…… continue to aggressively look for work at home but enjoy and take advantage of the time here. I looked up free places to go in Holland and found several places to go for free, so will do that. I’m still praying Ken will come through with that job in Calgary.

Did I say something wrong when I told him I was worth the $55 I’ve been getting at the last 3 jobs? I said they would get every cent worth of that. But then I also let him know I was willing to be a bit flexible, so he shouldn’t just walk away without making an offer, should he? I’m afraid since I stood up for myself again, that I lost the opportunity and I’m getting punished again.

Hope you both had a wonderful Mother’s Day,
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Good morning, Spyce,
No, Worley is pretty cold-blooded, and I’ve known that for a long time. I have watched them treat suppliers, clients and employees like dirt. Its all about the all-mighty dollar with them. They TALK like they care about people, but their actions say they don’t. I talked with Bob, my boss, about it. He agrees with me, Worley should not be back-charging those costs for the relocation company to me. But he can’t do anything about it. He’s in Belgium and I was hired by The Netherlands. He suggested I talk with Ron, who on paper, is my boss. I wrote an email to HR and Ron Friday but sent it to a friend to proof and review as I was very upset when I wrote it. Should hear back from him Monday. And I will call Ron on Monday.

I will get retroactive tax break for 3 months on May’s paycheck. What they are taking out is about 1.5 month’s worth so I should have SOME money to send back home in May. I do have money in Canada to cover costs, but that was to go to a badly needed new car or house renovations or a true vacation and I’m watching all my savings disappear. I came over here on the premise I would break even, but that’s not happening. I SHOULD be to where I’m no losing any more. May not have enough in June to cover Canada costs, but after that, I should. My boss is trying to find more work so I can work some OT, but right now he doesn’t have anything that warrants the OT. There was some talk I would assist with projects in England and Norway, but haven’t heard anything more about that. I will talk with Ron about that Monday. But again, I’m praying that Ken will come through with that job in Calgary. It’s not right at all that I should be losing so much money to come over here and work. I should not have to pay to work here.

I have thought about going home without a job. I have also thought about applying for social security and whatever its called in Canada. I believe between the two I could cover costs. I don’t know how long it would take to process the requests. Six to 8 months? Don’t know. I also reached out to several more people Friday. Hexagon came back with they MIGHT have something. I’m still hoping Ken will come through. I’ll email him next week.

I’ll keep praying. I THOUGHT God was leading me over here, but I’m blaming all of this on me being stubborn and not listening well. I’m praying now that I can listen better!

Today is cloudy with light rain. I was going to go to the dunes, but will wait till the weather is nicer.

Have a super day,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

I am SOOOOOOO MAD! I just got an email from HR saying the 30% ruling (tax break) came through but they are taking 1200 euros (almost 2 months worth) of it to cover the costs of the relocation service they hired for me. I was told Worley was providing that service. NOTHING was ever said about me having to refund them for a service they hired for me. I’m pretty mad about it. I’m going to have a complete breakdown and cry. I’ve been over here over 2 months now and have not had enough money to send one penny home to cover my costs at home. And it looks like I won’t for another month. I’m pretty mad. That means 4 months (we don’t get paid till the end of the month) that I have to cover costs at home out of my own pocket. I was lead to believe I would have enough money to cover those costs. I don’t. I’m really mad. This job will end up costing me big time out of my own pocket. I’m totally regretting taking it. Don’t know what to do. Really can’t go home without a job. Oh, I’m so mad. I don’t know what to do. Haven’t head anything from Ken so don’t know if that interview will still come through or not. I’ll wait till Monday or Tuesday next week then contact him again. I’m going to go just ball my eyes out.

[Rhonda R]

Oh, I’m grumpy! Just tried to get into SilverSingles to answer Aleks. My account expired. No notice or anything. They should send out a notice that its expiring in a few days – or that your account is going to be charged in a few days. So I can pay $100 for one month, $190 for 3 months or $300 for 6 months. I get tired of these dating services charging so much. I’m sure they’re costs aren’t that much and customer service from these sites is horrible. Not sure what to do. Oh, shoot! I should have gotten his phone number when I could read the messages! I’m grumpy!

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. Yes, I do need to focus on good things. Did find out today my Dutch tax break was granted so I should see that on my next pay check retroactive to when I started. I thought I was ok to work 45 hours but my boss let me know it’s not, so no more OT for me for a while, anyway. I let him know I was wasn’t happy and that I’ve paid out about $8000 from my Canadian account because of this job, so am about $8000 in the hole and probably won’t be able to recoup those costs. He kind of put me down and said I make almost double what he does and he lives comfortably. Basically said he doesn’t know why I can’t make it. He seems to forget he has a live-in girlfriend who is also working and he can split the costs. He keeps saying it costs less to live in Europe, but I’m finding it’s quite a bit more expensive here. Anyway….. I shouldn’t be going any more in the hole, but still doubt I can recoup all my costs. Makes me really regret taking this job.

LOL. I don’t really know Joep well enough to be serious about him, but he is pretty nice. I do enjoy his company and respect him. He’s fun to be with. I wouldn’t be crying crocodile tears if I had the opportunity to spend more time with him. I got two hugs from him when I left and it felt really good.

LOL. I should learn Dutch. It’s a very difficult language to learn. I have learned a few words and phrases. I used to write poetry in high school. A few years ago my first ex sent some personal things back to me via my uncle. One item was a notebook with some of my poetry. I was really surprised at how much pain was evident in the poetry. Hm….. Might should see if I can still write some poetry. My journaling is writing here. LOL.

I did take a couple kayak lessons – required to get into the club. I’ve decided not to join. Costs too much and I wouldn’t go that often. Plus there’s that possibility I’ll be going home in a month or so. One of the ladies was kind enough to give me a ride home both nights (clubhouse is a 45 minute walk from my place and lessons ran till close to sundown). She asked for my number and has just offered to take me sightseeing in Rotterdam. That is really nice of her and will be fun.

Ken told me he would set up an interview but I haven’t heard anything from him. He said what I was requesting for wages was high for them. I told him I was worth it and they would get every cent worth from me but I could be a little flexible. Have gotten nothing but the silent treatment. Which is typical. Any time I stand up for myself I get beat up and pounded on more. We’ll see. I’ll wait a week and then contact him again. I would be an extremely happy camper to go home by July or August.

Aleks (dating site) wrote me back. Hadn’t heard from him for several days. He’s funny. He wanted me to call and I explained I am 8 hours ahead of him and asked for a convenient time. LOL. He said call any evening. Uh….. yeah…… and evening for him is 2 a.m. for me. I think he didn’t catch that.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Spyce,
Thank you. Glad you’re doing well and able to live comfortably. I supported both my ex’s so know what it’s like to live on food stamps (embarrassing). Last ex spent money faster than I could make it. For years it was hand to mouth with often writing checks before payday and being (I was, ex was not) careful that money would be deposited in the account before the check hit the account. Not fun. The last 7 years or so, I’ve actually made good money and been ok, but in a situation like this, I panic. I do like my job. Today was good. I’m starting with another project that will be really good to work on. It’s in Hungary and there’s a possibility of a work trip to Hungary. We’ll see. Haven’t heard anything from Ken. He said he would set up an interview, but I know these things take time. I’d be perfectly happy if they don’t need me til first of July. That would be just about right. I would have made enough money to pay back the advance and also have enough time to get the two projects I have now set up and the regional template done so it’s a cookie cutter set up for any following projects. I get those things done I won’t feel bad about leaving. Kind of excited about the thought of going home. I’ll let you know when I hear more.

I emailed Joep again. He didn’t answer my last email a few weeks ago. I think it got lost in his email. He answered right away this time and said he had texted me last week, but of course I didn’t get it as I now have a Dutch number. He’s a sweetheart. Hope I get to spend some time with him when I get home.

Cheers,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Spyce,
Thank you. Yes, it’s been a long time not being home. And unfortunately the places I’ve been able to get work have not been places I would choose to go. I’ve lost a lot of me and who I am over the past few years.

I was praying more last night. I told God I wasn’t sure if I had listened well previously and I THOUGHT He wanted me here, but am not sure now. Told Him I didn’t know what to do and needed guidance again. So emailed a couple more contacts. One came back that he didn’t have anything. Two others I haven’t heard from, but Ken came back that they will need a SmartCompletions person in Calgary soon. He asked what I was wanting for salary. I told him and he came back and said that was a little high. I emailed back that it was what I was making for the last 3 jobs and that I was worth every penny and they would get every cent worth of it from me. Then I said, LOL, Ok, if its a LITTLE high I could be a little flexible, especially if there was OT. I don’t want to come down much, but could come down a little. He was going to arrange a phone interview, so we’ll see what happens. I feel really guilty leaving here so soon, but I doubt this other job will be ready for a month and I can get most everything done in a month if I really work at it. I panicked about my finances over the weekend. I don’t see how I can afford to stay here. If I stayed 8 months I MIGHT be able to recoup all my losses, but it would be close and I would not have money to travel. Might as well cut my loses and just eat it, go home and get more money – or at least make the same and not have to pay for two places. No, oil and gas is still pretty slow right now so can’t be too choosy. And Canada is slower than the US I think. We’ll see. I’ll continue to pray.

I’m used to moving. Moved several times as a kid and many times as an adult. And the last 10 years my work has bounced me around the continent like a superball. I am ready to go home and settle down. Ha Ha. And who knows. Maybe I’ll even get a date or two and find someone to get serious with.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

I’ve got to do something to shake this depression. Been out of my vitamins for a week so broke down and did go buy some. Can’t get my Melaleuca vitamins here.

I’ve been here 2 months but it seems like 2 years. Longer I’m here the more I’m regretting taking this. I thought I’d settle in and things would get better, but its not. I’m panicking over finances. I thought I’d be ok, make a little more than I needed, but that hasn’t happened and the job is not going as I was hoping. Not sure it was the right thing to do, but sent an email to the gentleman who contacted me about the BC job. Asked if he has anything coming up. Also wrote Bridget, the Worley global SmartCompletions lead and asked if the Canadian project comes through if I could have it and go home. Really need to change my attitude. Need to quit dwelling on what’s wrong and look for things that are right.

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Yes, I did get a kick out of Mark thinking there’s a lot of wildlife here. But he does have pics of fox in Amsterdam. But even deer are hard to find here. I occasionally see them on my camera at home in Calgary walking across the common area back of my house. That doesn’t happen here.

Funny about the restaurant in Tennessee. Yes, it is perspective, exposure and experience.

How can I explain what’s missing when I’m not in my mountains. I don’t know how to explain it. But when I’m not in my mountains (or near them), I’m not at home. I’m not quite myself and I just don’t feel complete. Just a part of me missing. Not a clue how to explain it. I don’t know. The mountains are just very much a part of me and a part of who I am and when I’m not in my mountains, that part of me is missing.

Yes, my feeling awkward is situational. Feelings and thoughts? No specific thoughts. Just a feeling of awkwardness. Don’t know what to say. Don’t know how to carry on a conversation. And, yes, it is more in strange or new situations and with new people. Also depends on how tired I am. But I often tend to be on the quieter side, anyway, especially in groups. Also depends on the person. Some people are easy to talk with, others not so much. I’m usually not a big talker, and never really been good at conversation, which I’m totally ok with. It’s ok not to be an outgoing extrovert all the time. Some of my communication is non-verbal. Like today. I was in the train station waiting for the next train. LOL. Guess I must have unconsciously yawned or something as I saw a good-looking man smiling at me and making a yawning face. I gave him a big grin back. Just that 5 seconds of eye contact and smiles. Made me feel good.

Today was forecasted to be cloudy, damp, windy, cool. Sheveningen forecast was same with wind, so I decided late yesterday afternoon to go for a train ride and go to Mastricht. Mastricht is Andre Reiu’s home and the most southern city in Holland. It was a 3 hour train ride to get there. Wandered around the town for a couple hours and came back. It was a unique experience. Mastricht is a old, old city. Went to Basilica, Vrijthof. Saw signs that Andre Rieu will be performing there in July. 99 EU and includes dinner. That would be awesome. I’ll have to see if I can figure out how to go. Basilica, Vrijthof is a huge square with two huge ancient cathedrals. Centuries old. These old buildings are incredible. Went to another church close by and got to go inside. Incredible. Dark, with ancient, musty order when you walked in, but the stained glass, the statues and carvings are insane. Streets in Europe are very narrow. Tall buildings on each side. The malls here are totally different. The shops I saw in Mastricht are ritzy boutiques. LOL. Walk through these narrow, old, century old streets and look in the stores and they are these small, modern boutiques. Streets are hewn stone, maybe 4″ square and laid with incredible precision and arching pattern. There are outdoor eating areas/cafes everywhere. Narrow streets lined with tables and chairs and smaller squares filled with eating areas, chairs and tables and umbrellas.

So haven’t heard back from Aleks. He suggested a phone call. I wrote back and asked when a convenient time would be and have heard nothing from him. Its been a couple days so don’t know what to think.

Hope you have an awesome day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

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