[Rhonda R]

Oh, I’m going to cry!!!! Calgary Christian Singles is going to Music in the Park (outdoor concert) and Alberta Fun Paddlers is paddling the Lower Kananaskis Lake. I’m soooooooooo homesick! I’m going to cry!

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. It’s tough to watch him with others as 95% of our interaction is on Teams. However, I try to pay attention to how the conversation goes and how other people are reacting to him. Tough, but I’ve picked up a few things that I’ve tucked away in the back of my mind. He’s very good at making people think he’s really nice, but then the longer you work with him the more you go, hmmmmmmm.

So I’m exhausted. Left the apartment at 6:30 this morning. Walked 2.5 k to the station. Rode the train for 3.5 hours. Took a ferry over to Texel. Walked 12 k on Texel. Walked out to one of the beaches. Beaches in Texel are beautiful Light beige sand. Now I can say I had my feet in the North Sea. 🙂 It was cold but not icy. Left my camera vest in the bathroom at the beach. Fortunately stopped to check on my cameras and saw I didn’t have my vest. Went back and got it. Stopped and put everything down to put my vest on. Got 150 to 200 feet up the road and realized I didn’t have my phone, so went back and sure enough, it was sitting on the stack of beach chairs where I had set stuff down to put my vest on. Whew! (Lost my sunglasses last Thursday on our meetup. I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached!) Walked to a lookout tower. Pretty underwhelming. Met a super nice lady when I was getting on the bus to head back to the train station. We rode together to the station where she had to transfer trains. Had a nice conversation with her. The heather has started blooming on Texel so I’ll run over to Veluwe the weekend after I get back from Switzerland. There are valleys and hills just covered in heather there. Hillsides and valleys are blanketed in these tiny purple flowers. Got nothing but some gulls in flight. But the ferry rides were worth the trip. Overall a pretty good day.

Tomorrow is laundry and packing for my trip. I’ll download my tickets. Our photography meetup group meets at Rotterdam Central Station and then walks downtown and out to the river/port. So this last Thursday I went in half hour early to scout the station and figure out where my international train would leave from. There are 16 platforms in this station so wanted to figure things out early. Good thing I did. Found out my train leaves half hour earlier than stated on my reservation. I’ll go into the office in The Hague Tuesday and stop at information Tuesday night to get final schedule on my train. Leave Thursday morning for Switzerland. Getting excited.

Have a wonderful day! 🙂
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Oh, P.S. Randy said he’s done on his project by end of Dec and he is going to a large project in Louisiana. He said he’s going to try to talk the regional director into bringing me on the project as well. I know he’ll fight to let me work in Canada and go to site occasionally. Will see what happens.

[Rhonda R]

Thank you, Heidi. That’s true. I don’t feel safe with him. He’s been quite nice the last week or so. But I don’t trust him and always have my guard up. I don’t know when he’ll start throwing in his little digs or when he’ll butt his head into my job. What he’s insisting on doing with the hierarchy will make a total mess of the database and open it wide up for errors, mistakes and problems, but I can’t convince him otherwise. And he hasn’t given me one valid reason other than he doesn’t like the way it looks on paper. ??????? So I thought I was talking with Rosa, who is supposed to be over the mechanical list, about a data dump. Next thing I know, he’s gone to someone else and gotten the mechanical dump from him. ??? He’s very good at sticking his nose in my job and it messes me up and keeps me in chaos. I’ve started listening and watching how he interacts with other people and how they relate back to him. Pretty interesting. Just sitting back and watching. He will sometimes compliment me, but he also gives that vibe that he’s in charge and I’m below him and things need to go his way. His compliments come across as not being sincere but he’s giving them to gain something from himself. Not worded very well, but I think you’ll get what I’m trying to say. I think he gives that same vibe off to others as well. All I know is when I finally get to go home for good you will hear me screaming and clapping and celebrating all the way from here.

Talked with Rich at Dynamysk this week. He said they didn’t get the projects he was trying to get but he’s hoping for new ones in the next month or so. I’m guessing TWD didn’t get the project they bid on, either, as I haven’t heard from Chad in several weeks and that was supposed to start in Sept. So this weekend I’ll book me a trip to Silicy for late Sept. Already got tours and hotel picked out, just need to go book it.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. Yeah, I just don’t know what to think about this guy. He’s being really nice now so things are better. But I never know when I’ll get scolded and for what. And he has a way of talking that makes me feel like what he’s saying is a little dig. Now he hasn’t in the last week or so, but he has before. I’m very cautious and guarded with him. He does occasionally ask my opinion, like I asked him today about the Notice of Readiness he put in the turnover binder table of contents. We don’t have one. So he came back and said, well what if we used the MCC as a notice along with the walkdown invite. I wrote back, Well, that’s one way of doing it and it would work. But shouldn’t the contractor be giving us formal notice? We know when the system is ready by status in SmartCompletions, but doesn’t the contractor need to give us notification? And this really doesn’t come from us. He came back and said he would take that up with contracts and to take it out of the TOC. So when I do see something that I feel I need to address or if he asks my opinion on something, I try to answer with questions to get him to look at all angles. It’s tough, as I’m used to walking on site and they say, Build us a turnover database and that’s the last I hear from anyone. I’m on my own to build it. And I know I do well as one of the operators on the R3 project came by my office at the end of the project and said, We would have built and commissioned the plant without the database, but we were able to do it much quicker and more efficiently with it. A couple of the superintendents at YCI told me the database I built was the best they’ve seen. Randy keeps telling me what an asset I am to Worley and he will take me on the next project he has opportunity to. But with Bob, he’s got his nose in the database questioning what I’ve done, telling me, well SmartCompletions should do this or that, and usually he’s way off. Then he talks down to me for not doing things that are a turnover manager’s job, not database manager’s job. I just don’t get him. I’m beginning to question how competent he really is and how much he really understands databases. Although he acts and talks like he’s a data guru. ????? Don’t have the foggiest clue what to think. But something in my gut says something isn’t right and to be very cautious.

I do stay in touch with Debbie and Jackie. They are the closest friends I have there. Others were more acquaintances than friends. Occasionally I still hear from Dean. Can’t wait to get home and get involved in the meetup groups again.

Saturday hope to go up to Texel – 4 hour one-way trip. Sunday I’ll spend packing and planning out my trip to Switzerland. Leave on the 11th. Nervous but excited. I’ll email Rich at Dynamysk and ask about news on the potential project. If nothing soon, I’ll plan a trip to Sicily for the 3rd or 4th weekend of September.

Hope you have an AWESOME day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Alberta Fun Paddlers (meetup) is doing Glenmore Reservoir (2 k from my house) tomorrow. Waaaaaaaaah!

[Rhonda R]

P.S. Calgary Christian Singles is out camping at Cow Lake this weekend. Monday is a holiday for them. sniff, sniff. I do really, really miss that meetup group.

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. That was what I needed to be able to brush off and ignore his behavior. I can definitely try to keep things positive and know better now to even suggest anything. It’s been messing with my mind big time. Sometimes he can be nice and then he’ll turn around and tighten the screws and squash me under his thumb. I live in, is chaos the right word? I don’t know what I can and can’t do. Never know if I’m doing the right thing with him or not. With him being nice sometimes its been really messing with my mind making me question myself. I can pretend everything is ok. I’m really starting to wonder if he feels insecure. I’m beginning to think he’s not near as competent as he puts on. He’s often asking me to do things he should be doing. I do know enough to know there’s no way to win with this type of person, so no sense trying. I’ll up the job hunting. Best to get out of here as soon as possible.

Less than 2 weeks till I head to Switzerland. I’m really afraid of the trip. Afraid of missing the train, getting on the wrong train, missing a connection, not meeting my ride when I get there. I’m getting in 45 min after the last bus leaves so the hotel is sending someone to pick me up. Scared they might forget or I’ll miss them. But at the same time, I’m excited. I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland. Also gotta ask for Friday, the 28th off as well as I’ve booked a trip to Germany.

Had an ok day today. Went up to Kennemerland again. Same place I saw the fox. Saw a couple deer but not fast enough to get any pics. Saw lots of evidence of horses but didn’t see any. Trains and buses were quite crowded. Maybe run up to Texel next weekend. That’s a 4-hour drive so have to leave early.

Hope you have an awesome day.
Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Heidi,
That heated argument was the original one two or three weeks ago. I had told him a couple weeks ago I would do it his way and figure out work-arounds and I was done discussing it. I had forgotten about it and moved on. Then he springs that meeting on me out of the blue and pulls Bridget in to beat me up. I don’t have the foggiest clue of what he was doing or why in setting up those meetings. I told him a couple weeks ago I would do it his way and I was done talking about it. I quit arguing – or maybe I should say trying to explain my reasons for why I wanted to do things the other way, with him two or three weeks ago. We definitely have a communication block. He makes these totally vague charts and thinks they’re so pretty. To me, their meaningless. I don’t understand them. He gives me these totally vague, high level directions and I’m left scrambling to figure out the details of how to implement what he wants. He has this picture in his mind of what’s supposed to happen, but is very vague about it and I flunked mind-reading 101 five times so really struggle to understand how I’m supposed to implement what he wants. A good 30% of what he tells me to do isn’t even my job. I don’t have a problem doing it, but then he talks like I’m totally incompetent and lazy because I don’t automatically do what isn’t my responsibility. Then I get put in the corner because I’m taking too long to get my own work done on the database. I really don’t know how to take him any more. Don’t know if its just me or what, but it feels like he’s one who smiles in your face while twisting the knife in your back. I’m usually quite patient and put up with a lot, but things are starting to add up here.

I will email Chad (TWD) and Rich (Dynamysk) early next week. I have a feeling TWD didn’t get the job. Might still be early to know about Dynamysk. Randy was talking Novemberish with his jobs. Do really hope something works out before Christmas. I would love to be home for good by Christmas. I want to check with Chad and Rich soon (Chad’s job wanted me in Sept). If nothing is coming up in Sept I think I’ll plan a 4-day weekend to Silicy.

And it’s way past my bedtime. Another photo meetup walk around Rotterdam.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Yeah, I’ve pretty much forgotten about Wells Fargo and moved on. Called them again as I couldn’t download my statements. The lady was really nice and helped me with that. I won’t be able to get them till Aug 11, but have a note in my calendar to go get them. Need them for taxes. Learning my new banking system. Fortunately RBC, my Canadian bank, has an affiliate with Bank of Georgia so I can still have a US account. No other bank has that primary residence requirement, so Wells Fargo just lost a good customer. I’ll move on. Did confirm Wells Fargo is sending a cashier’s check that doesn’t expire to my Canadian address. I’ll check with my neighbor in a couple weeks to see if its arrived. They requested I call them if it doesn’t show up in 3 weeks. So over, done with, moved on. I’ll vent my frustrations and anger and then forget about it and move on. If it’s with a person, I may withdraw and move away, not so much because I haven’t forgiven them but because I no longer trust them and I won’t put myself in a position to continue to be abused or used again. And I think that is healthy. Forgiving doesn’t mean I continue to stay in a relationship that is hurtful.

Dave did send a pic of my license plate. Apparently I’m having brain blanks as he had sent it and I actually downloaded it and totally either didn’t recognize it or didn’t remember that I had. So all’s well with my car. Needed the dates for my insurance and couldn’t log into my insurance as the only way for second id is through a phone. I think that’s dead wrong. They should have an alternative way for 2-step verification other than a phone. Anyway, fortunately, my cousin is also on the account with her phone number so I had them text her the code and she emailed it to me so I was able to get in and get the coverage dates / expiration date. So Sunday I’ll go in and get my plates ordered.

I have no clue what’s going on with my boss. I’m so mad!! We had a heated discussion a couple weeks ago about the systematization hierarchy. He wants to have some systems with subsystems and some systems without subsystems, which makes a database messy and makes it harder to do reporting and I can’t use the subsystem field for database QA – meaning I can’t now just sort on the subsystem and immediately know what tags/assets are missing subsystems. It’s more difficult to report on tasks, because some are assigned to systems and others are assigned to subsystems. He refused to listen and refused to (still hasn’t) given me a valid reason why we can’t have a subsystem in every system. So I finally told him he got it his way and I would figure out some work arounds and deal with it and I was done with the discussion. As far as I was concerned, the topic was dropped and he got his way. So today I get a meeting notice for him and Bridget, the global SmartCompletions tech person, who is also a friend that I’ve worked with for 10 years. The meeting is to happen within less than half an hour. Bob then calls me to see if I’ve looked at his hierarchy so I have to time to think or respond. I told him I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation. Of course Bridget tells him SmartCompletions doesn’t require it and other projects do it his way. So all he was doing was using her to beat me over the head and drive home his way when I already told him I would do it his way and I was done with the discussion. I’m furious. I totally resent how he handled the situation. I told him I would do it his way and I was done with the discussion. I expected him to respect that and he didn’t and he threw this meeting at me last minute. Nothing but a stab in the back and a slap in the face. I already knew SmartCompletions doesn’t require a subsystem. He claimed Bridget had some new table that would give me the data. She didn’t. Same one I was already using. I’m so mad right now. I need out of here before I get fired. I have totally lost all respect for him. Some of the things he does and the way he does things is totally ….. don’t make sense at all and totally not industry standard. Yikes. I like your solution in a situation like this…… move on to other healthier situations! So now I’ve vented. I’ll shut up and put up with my boss, but I also continue to move away and be more and more guarded. There was absolutely no need for him to put me on the spot with a friend and co-worker I’ve worked closely with for 10 years. Oh…. he told me previously he doesn’t want me emailing her and talking with her. I’m supposed to go through him. BS. I do anyway. That’s where I draw the line.

Hope you have an AWESOME day!
Smiles,
Rhonda

So hearing I may have another opportunity. Randy, who I worked with in Louisiana, will be moving on to another project in a position where he gets to choose who he wants to work on his team with him. Funny. Things didn’t start out too well with Randy. I didn’t trust him and thought he would be difficult to work with, but the longer I worked with him, the more he earned my respect. By the time the project was done (and I did stay till the end of the project and the end of my contract), we were working quite closely. He is now on a project in KS and has inherited a very messy database so we talk almost daily and I help him learn the program and get the database straightened out. Anyway, he thinks he may be on another large project come Novemberish. He also is in favor of me working from home in Canada and one construction starts, maybe I’ll visit once a month or once every other month. Would work out well. I would love to work with Randy again.

Gotta go. Went into the office today. Didn’t get home till after 7. Makes for a long day.

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Yeah, not happy at all with Wells Fargo. Feels like I’ve been slapped in the face and stabbed in the back. They claim its from a government regulation but they are the only bank with that requirement. I’ll ask my neighbor to watch for an envelope from Wells Fargo.

Yesterday was an adventure……. kind of. Didn’t make it to Texel. Didn’t get to sleep till after 3 a.m. and 2.5 hours sleep just doesn’t work. Didn’t really get out of bed till almost noon. Kinderdijk is the only place close enough to go at that time of day. Its an hour bus ride. Everything else is over 2 hours. So I headed down there. Met a mother and son at Kralingse Zoom station who were also going. She was visiting from Argentina and her son lives in Spain. Never did find out why they were in Holland. Anyway, they told me a good place to go in Spain so I got out my phone to put it in my notepad. But the bus drove up right then and we had to load. I had my phone in my hand. Put it on the seat while I took my pack off and it disappeared. It fell between the seats of the bus and slid under my seat. Seat was mounted to a platform and the front, isle side and back were blocked. Only way to reach in was from between the seats. It was very tight and the space under the seat was very thin. I could feel my phone but couldn’t get a hold of it. Tried many times. Someone told me to go talk with the driver. He was very rude. Just waved me off and wouldn’t talk to me. Next stop I tried again. I talked with him anyway, even though he wouldn’t even look at me. He finally asked which seat so I told him and he just very coldly said he couldn’t help me. The girl across from me tried to help and the mother/son were sitting across the isle from me and tried to help. Loaned me a pen to see if I could push it around to get it closer. Nothing worked. I was sure I was going to have to go buy a new phone. But I kept trying. Finally tried from further back on the seat where it curved in a little and was a little wider. I just shoved my hand in as far as I could go then shoved a little further and was able to grab the phone between my two fingertips and pull it out. Thank you, God!!! I thought for sure my hand would turn black and blue but so far it hasn’t. Did scrape some skin off and it is sore, but small price to pay for having my phone back. Lots of people at Kinderdijk and the grasses were 5 foot to 8 foot tall so couldn’t see the windmills as well. Had to find open places in the grasses to see them. Nothing exciting but better than sitting at home. Three more weeks till I go to Switzerland. Excited and scared at the same time.

Meetup was ok. Two younger men, both with girlfriends, but they were good at including me. I ended up taking the metro home from the port as they wanted to stay till 11 to get night shots and that was too late for me. I’m not a street photographer, but trying to find some new perspectives. Nice to get out and do things with other people, though.

Emailed Dave again Friday about my car. No response. Debbie is supposed to go over today to get a pic. I feel so helpless. I hate being totally dependent on others as my experience is 98% of the time they don’t come through and I’m left hanging.

Today is a work-around-the-house day. Laundry, cleaning, shopping for necessities…..

Have a super day!
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you for your thoughts.

This week was tough. I’ve been with Wells Fargo for 17 years. Mortgage with them as well. Found out they are kicking me out. They won’t serve anyone who doesn’t have a primary residency in the US, citizen or not. So I transferred all my money to an RBC US account. Then 2 days later got a notice I was $530 overdrawn. Up till after 11 that night taking of that. I forgot I’m paying Trav’s auto insurance at $207/mo. I’ll still pay that and the auto payments transferred to my other account. The other charge I found out was for a health insurance policy we thought we had cancelled 6 years ago or so. Shame on me for not checking my statements! Took me lots of time and calls to even find out where the policy was from and who it was for. I thought it was for Trav. Turned out it was for Dustin. Thank God for a wonderful broker that I’ve worked with for many years. He solved the mystery right away and was able to cancel the policy for me. So when I called Wells Fargo about the auto payments, I also closed some of my accounts. There were 3 that still had balances. We put a notice to close on them when they reached a status where they met the requirements for closing – the account was down to 0. That was Wednesday night. I got notices today all my accounts were now closed. One still had $1800 on it. I’m furious. No one said the account would close in 24 hours 0 balance or not. Called them. Bank refused to do anything. Supposedly their sending a check to my Calgary address. I’m furious.

Plus I got notice my car plates expire in Aug. I can renew on line but need my insurance, license plate, registration. I had given my neighbor a key to my car and put his name on my insurance so he could drive it a couple times a month instead of letting it sit. He also checks on my house occasionally. So I emailed him and asked him to send pics of my registration, insurance card and license plate. He sent the registration and insurance policy, but I’ve asked 4 times for my license plate and he hasn’t sent it yet. He said cuz it was raining. I have a camera in my kitchen window looking out to my back yard. Its been sunny. I’m quite frustrated and rather worried. I emailed him again today asking about my license plate and told him I was worried and please send the pic today. My car isn’t more than 20 feet outside his front door. He hasn’t answered. Makes me wonder if something has happened to my car. I feel totally frustrated and helpless. Helpless in both situations. Another friend said she’d go by my house Sunday to get my license plate. I’m really worried something has happened to my car.

Found out what happened with the train last weekend. I started to 3 Country Point last Saturday and got as far as Breda. Engineer said there was a wreck on the tracks. I found out today there’s a damaged rail bridge in the south. Guess I won’t be going to 3 Country Point for a while. So will try to make it to Texel tomorrow. Texel is an island in the north.

Those things have taken up most of my week. The meetup for Tuesday – ha ha – I took the train to Rotterdam Central only to figure out the meetup wasn’t till Thursday. So went last night. Didn’t get home till almost 10:30. Tired today.

Have an awesome day,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Thank you. Yes, I’m looking forward to my trips. Petrified of the train rides, but oh well. I’m going anyway. The trip to Germany there is one transfer both going and coming back that’s only 3 minutes. Not much time. I hope its a small station!

Yeah, don’t know what to think of my boss at all. He wants to figure out the reporting for the project so I said I would put samples of the reports out of Hexagon in a folder for him to look at. It should be the turnover manager or project manager who decides what reports to use and when. So I put them out on our shared drive for him to look at. So this afternoon just before quitting time he comes back and says, Thank you, but that looks like all the reports. Please recommend what reports to use and how often. ?????? NOT MY JOB! I told him I’d do that tomorrow, but I think I’m going to go back to him and tell him I want to work with the manager on site to get his thoughts as he’s the one who will be using the reports. I’d say at least 30% and probably closer to 40% of what I’m doing here is not my job. I shouldn’t be scoping drawings. I shouldn’t be assigning systems to the instruments and piping. That’s not my job, but I”m doing it. I haven’t figured him out yet, but I have lost a whole lot of respect for him.

Mariah Carey has a couple songs out about self-love and the hero within. And yes, I am trying to work on self love. I’m usually ok with being alone. I’ve done things alone most of my life. I don’t feel alone when I’m hanging out with a herd of horses or mountain sheep. Don’t feel alone when I’m kayaking and the loons come up to me and the eagles fly over, but I don’t have that here. Just that one day with the horses. And it drives me nuts to sit in the house so much. Really feeling it working from home. Not helping things. So what’s wrong with wanting company? I’ve been alone probably 80% of my life. Would like to be able to do things with friends. Is there something wrong with me because I want friendship and company?

Ok. I’m off for a photography meetup.
Have a super day,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
Oh, my. My poor memory again. I thought I had answered this.

Yes, you’re right. There are many different ways to interpret the Bible. And fortunately God reads our hearts and understands what we hear from His word. One thing that bothers me about my dad’s “ministry”. He was in education for a long time so he treats his “ministry” like a classroom. Writes lessons, grades and corrects the lessons…. I have a HUGE problem with that. How do you “grade or correct” a relationship with God. A relationship with God isn’t a math equation. He’s teaching his doctrine, not showing people a relationship with God. They (my dad and sister) also are very determined that their interpretation and belief is the only right one. Again, I have a huge problem with that. I think Romans is one of my favorite books, especially chapters 13-16 (14) where Paul talks about accepting other people’s beliefs. I will remember what you said that I am honoring my parents by being the best version of me I can be.

(Sigh) Sometimes my boss can be ok and he’ll ask my opinion, and I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I really feel like I’m under his thumb and don’t have the freedom to function on my own and get things done. I’ve gotten to where I’m afraid to move, afraid to do anything. Sometimes I do it anyway, but its not a good feeling. I feel like he’s constantly looking over my shoulder wanting to know what I’m doing and who I’m talking with. I haven’t heard from Chad (TWD and the job in Sarinia) for a couple weeks so thinking maybe TWD didn’t get the job. Nothing more from Rich at Dynamysk, but they probably won’t know for a couple weeks.

Home of Hope sent me a pic of Everett, the orphan I am now sponsoring. He’s very black and has huge, dark brown eyes. I will get some things ordered off Amazon for him before August when a group heads over to Africa. There’s an orphanage in the Congo and one in Kenya. They have several other projects in Africa and another orphanage in India.

One thing I’m really, really struggling with here is the isolation. Worked 11.5 hours today (not on purpose) and only got out of the apartment long enough to take the garbage out. Even when I go into work I may not talk with anyone all day. When I go out on the weekends, I’m alone. Always alone. Did enjoy the meetup last Tuesday and he planned another one this Tuesday, so will go again. But this isolation is driving me crazy and really feeding my depression. I think I need to listen to this often! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIUCRqbGrEU

I think I’m crazy. Booked me another trip. Two weeks after my trip to Switzerland I’m going to Germany. Going down to Fussen and
Neuschwanstein Castle. Got a really nice hotel close to the train/bus station in Fussen so it will be easy to walk to and from the hotel. I splurged and am staying 2 nights and getting breakfast with the hotel. 9 hour train ride to Fussen. Had to plan it later as train tickets were about half the cost and didn’t want to book in Sept in case I end up going home. So packed to major trips really too close together. If I stay here in Sept will take a trip to Silicy. Wish I had someone to go with.

How was your weekend? Did you go out with your dogs?

Smiles,
Rhonda

[Rhonda R]

Hi, Heidi,
That is a different perspective of honoring my parents. My mom passed away a couple years ago so its just my dad and my sister who lives with him, and her granddaughter. My sister is very much like my mom. It was interesting. When I organized a surprise family reunion several years ago one of my cousins said to me, “I always thought you were the rebel, but you’re not. You’re the thoughtful, kind, loving one.” Another cousin talked with me about the closed minded extremism he felt there. Then when my mom died, my nephew and his wife were there. I don’t know them hardly at all, but wasn’t there but a day when his wife told me, You’re different. Made me feel good and like I wasn’t all bad and going straight to hell.

Yea, when messages get pounded into you – for 8 years I lived with being called bitch pretty much on a daily basis – its hard to stand up to it. I really like what you said that you don’t hang around people who drag you down and don’t tolerate being around people who are negative. I think your solution of choosing to be in a different environment is a good solution. 🙂 I also try to remind myself that my boss is under a lot of stress. He keeps talking to me like I’m incompetent and not doing my job because I don’t automatically do the things that usually a turnover manager would do. I’m doing a lot that isn’t my responsibility. I’m the database manager but doing a lot of things that should be done by a turnover manager or operations. He keeps talking to me like I’m stupid, lazy, or incompetent or just not doing my job because I don’t know how to do those things or don’t automatically do them….. like scoping civil drawings, like reading and understanding the contract, scouring through the construction work package matrix and making sure we cover all the scope, like scoping the automation system drawings, like I should know what the requirements are for what to include in the turnover binders (not my responsibility at all). And then he wants to turnover the documentation in a fashion I have never seen and to me is quite unprofessional. He acts like I’m supposed to be his assistant rather than the database manager. And he’s what I would call “possessive”. He’s chewed me out for asking questions of other people on the project. Told me not to talk with certain people, doesn’t want me talking with Bridget, the global SmartCompletions support for Worley (a friend that I’ve worked with now for 10 years) unless he’s included, doesn’t want me talking with the engineering data manager for a couple of the projects unless he’s invited. I can’t do anything without him hovering over my shoulder and when I think I understand what he wants, next day I find out that what he wants is totally different. I feel like I’m working in chaos all the time. I’ve gotten where I’m afraid to move and afraid to do anything. Not fun. Very difficult to work with. I’m used to going on a project and being told, build us a database, and that’s the last of the instructions I’m given. Here, my boss is, do this and do it this way, do that and do it that way, no don’t do that, do something else, why can’t you do this. I don’t know how to function in that environment. Time to go. I’ll shut up and try my best to accommodate and get along till I can get out of here.

Have an awesome day. I’m exhausted. Went in to the office today. Left at 6:30 and didn’t get back till 7. Forgot my sandwich so had nothing but chocolate and some nuts.

Oh, figured out what was causing my indigestion and stomach problems. Food over here is very different and doesn’t taste good so I had found a mix of honey glazed cashews and peanuts. I was eating several handfuls of that mix every day since about a week after I got here (first week of March). Plus have gone through 3 large jars of peanut butter. Laid off the nuts and peanut butter and my stomach felt better in a couple days. Been over a week so tried some yesterday and today and I could feel my stomach not too happy. Not the bad problems I had before, but could feel it trending that way. So guess I’ll have to be careful about how many nuts I eat and how much peanut butter.
I’ve been sponsoring an orphan over in Africa through Home of Hope for, uh, something like 6 or 7 years. Her adoption finally went through so I picked up another baby girl to sponsor. She just went back to her mother, so they asked if I wanted to sponsor a baby boy they just found. He was found by security on the floor of a cafe. Probably only a month old. No name, so I got to name him. 🙂 Everett David Amani. Everett means brave, hardy, strong; David means loved or beloved; and Amani means Peace in Swahili. I don’t have much info on him yet nor a pic. Should get that in a few days. There’s a couple people going over in August so I’ll order some things off Amazon and send to the Home of Hope church for them to take over to him.

Smiles,
Rhonda

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