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You’ve been “on and off” with him for 5 years? If you’re not his girlfriend then it should be none of your concern who he has a friends on social media– right? or no….
Hi Gaye–
I hope I’m not the only one responding to you and others but “the no phone service” I don’t believe– heard it before, these days there is phone service or some sort of communication device everywhere. If I were you I would call to see why he hasn’t called. Take it as a sign however that it’s over and he’s not man enough to tell you.
Thanks–CherylHi Barbara–
Your welcome– it’s only from my own experience we have to see what people really are I do at least I’ve been burned more times in the past 2 years of being divorced men and women than ever in 53 years. Good luck.
Cheryl.Hi–it’s nice you found someone you like, I don’t know what “book” you’re referring to. But yes stay in the present, get to really Know him– 2 weeks you cannot really know someone. If you are getting “some” like you say then you should be exclusive already and I’ve heard one year is the timeline you give someone if you want to be married. You should be able to tell if he wants a commitment soon. Keep us posted please. Good Luck!
Hi Kara– I have advise but it’s probably not what you want to hear but I’m giving it anyway. I just read your whole story and Really Kara? No one deserves to be treated like you are allowing him to treat you. It’s terrible!! I know you care about him– but he obviously doesn’t care about you enough and he is Beyond Disrespectful. You should Not allow yourself to be disrespected. Being Alone is Much Better than being treated like that — you’re not supposed to apologize and beg!!!! Please try to gain some self confidence and work on yourself to be the strong beautiful woman I’m sure you are. My Gosh — don’t grovel it’s unbecoming. Bottom Line my advice is Let him Go. You’ll get over it it’s only been 3 little months. That is NOthing. Get rid of him it will only get worse and worse and worse and then you’ll feel like a bit nothing I don’t think you want that to happen. My name is Cheryl not Janet.
Hi Barbara I feel your pain– and suggest Blocking Him from your FB, why see him on line and be sad, you’ll feel empowered when you block him. I’ve been there with these men, it happens ALL the time, I’ve decided it’s all about the chase and once they’ve had you they’re all set. Oh that’s until they feel the urge to see you again and since you’re not near his area– it’s highly unlikely he’ll try to see you because all he wanted to do was have sex and that’s what he got. But… You did, too; and it was your choice to do so, don’t feel bad about yourself. It is NOT you it’s him. They only want one thing, it’s a sad fact I have had to accept because it’s usually true. So many men use Facebook or other online sites to get women for one night stands.. sweet talking you and making us feel they really care, it’s just a game to them. I’m sorry if I sound a bit abrupt, it’s the sad truth and it takes well me 2 years to really know it’s true. I’ve been divorced for that long, I’m 53 and was married since 26. It’s not fun being single, right now I’m working on me and not dealing with men and their lies and lines to get me in bed, they disgust me with this. Sex is a game these days, not to me it isn’t, I’m done with one night stands and the next line will be “oh honey this won’t be a one night stand” really?! then where did you go… hmmm. Feel free to respond this my experience and the sad truth, maybe not others. If there is any possible way to fix your marriage I highly suggest that, if not get yourself strong first–it’s a harsh world. — My name is Cheryl (not Janet) Have a nice day….
Hi–You answered your own question for guy #1 Loser he is, 6 years separated–Really?! Guy number #2 same. You should Not be in Control that is just a cop-out. I, too, believe they should call, etc. My experience with these men is like yours so right now I choose to be just me. It’s ridiculous, so many just want sex and they lie, etc., etc., etc. I’m told you have to kiss lots of toads before the frog (something like that) — Just kiss though–LoL.
Hi– you’re a Mom you said, and this guy can’t handle emotions?! Regardless- in my opinion if you care about someone you should be able to share things that are emotional, life is not all just walking on a fluffy cloud now is it? Sweeping things under a rug and not talking because it’s “emotional” or “sensitive” is does not make for a real relationship. Let the dude be, he doesn’t deserve you. Next…..
Hi Beverly–I think you’re doing the right thing by giving this guy space. I would text or speak to him in person about your friendship. Ask him straight if he wants to be friends or not? You did nothing wrong, if it’s this distressing for you – I think your better off leaving it alone. Go about your business at work and treat each other as co-workers. Don’t know how old you are but I’m assuming you’re a bit younger than me, I’m speaking from experience. I, as most people do, think that I did something wrong when we didn’t. If a person is meant to be in your life they will be, just make sure they are the right people-the kind of people you want in your life. These days it seems difficult to meet truly honest, caring and loyal people those are the people I want in my life, if not I’d rather be by myself. Good Luck, be strong and be confident.
@Miss M– Love your advise. I’m learning too and don’t like what I see so far. The part about the “Chase” — I so agree with. Once they got you they’re off to the next. It’s a realization, but at least I know now. Married since I was 26- 2 times…divorced/pregnant-by #2-married him all the same year not planned, but was having a baby and I had 2 little boys. Horrible second marriage for 14 yrs. Horrible!! Now single it is SO not fun. 52 I am and divorced-single! A day at a time. I will not settle however so far 2 years, the men I’ve liked are unfortunately unsuitable for me-too young, married–etc.
Any advice you ask? Find someone else…unless you like how this guy treats you. Work on yourself, get rid of him tons of Red Flags. Pay attention to them.
Hi Angela-I agree the comment above. You are in a very difficult situation, I understand-personal experience. Please—the problem is NOT you. I was verbally, emotionally destroyed–would have been physical if legal. My advise–if you have any support outside of this loser use it, family, friend whatever, there are Support Groups, too. Anything. Take the divorce. No one deserves to be disrespected, put down, etc. He is supposed to be your Husband the man that Loves you. He doesn’t know how, won’t, or can’t–get away from him. Let him be a father on legal terms. Continue to work on yourself-you say “his” baby? They are you girls most likely most of the time. I have 3 boys now 23, 21, 16, I do my best teaching them Respect. Your “husband” is Not a Husband! and NOT good enough for YOU. Actions Speak Louder than Words. You will get through this and find a Real Man, no rush. My “husband” I stayed with for 14 yrs, I tried and did not have support, I took pills to buffer the pain-did not end up well, I’m off them, thought I was only hurting myself. I stayed for the kids did my best pretending cried every single day. You are young you deserve the best. Took a year at least to find myself again, I’m 52, look good I’m told no BF there are none good enough or they’re married. I will never ever except less and I’m old now :). [email protected] if you want. Be Strong. xo
I just read your very long post– you are a very brave young woman, we live, we learn. None of his actions have anything to do with you personally. They are all on him. Unfortunately you got hurt – I think it has happened to us all. Yes work on You — then when you do meet a man you accept anything less than what you deserve. And we deserve the best. Good Luck.
Hi–I agree with Tam N. and I’m glad you didn’t give in, too! He may call you again with some lame excuse–that’s what you have to be ready for–did you Really like him if not I’d not answer him–if you do then he best have a really good excuse and do some serious making it up to you time. That’s what I would do. Or I might even text — just…WoW. But do not give up, relax and Mr. Right will walk into your life! That’s my wishful thinking anyway.
