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He says he wants to work on things but gets defensive easily. His family is like that and his father is emotionally distant with his mother. My parents are more soft spoken and supportive. Yes they had their ups and downs but worked through them. He has said he wants to work on things but has said I am difficult to talk to about negative things. I don’t think I have ever not been willing to sit down and talk. So I’m not sure where that comes from.
Hi and thank you for your reply.
Yes, we have been married 12 years and maybe after his birthday in January he has seemed depressed and miserable. For some time though intimacy has been minimal. My issue was relating to low libido due to medication. Once that was sorted he was often rejecting me. So it has been a while without that intimacy. He works a stressful job long days and hours and about 1 year ago went into Afib and had to have a stent put in. Prior to this he probably wasn’t feeling well for a long time. He refused to go to the doctor. The current medical issues are hernia related incisional hernia and now one in his man are. No STDs and no cheating. He is super embarrassed and is not happy with how he looks. So he has mentioned, would you want to look at this?! A lot of self loathing, has seemed depressed.
Most recently I passed my state licensure for my profession. His behavior seemed distant more than ever since April – July when I started investigating. I worked from home one day when he said he was working, but I knew. I simply asked how work was then confronted him from there. He was out drinking and would place sport bets. But for some reason I’m bit sure I believe that. Now I’m trying to look into every detail. He has been showing me by proving he is at work when he says.
He wanted to talk to his mom because she has medical experience and had not even spoken to her about himself. Then he wanted to reassure my mom he didn’t intent to hurt me etc.
when I confronted him I told him I felt insecure and as if I’m not enough for him. He told me “do not think like that you are enough and my everything.” I may have mistyped earlier. So this leaves me questioning with the why. He said, he feels we have nothing to look forward to. We do not have kids and I know it’s something we have talked about but not made any effort. He said, I don’t want us to be alone.” He keeps saying make yourself happy. I thought as a married couple this is something we worked toward. I don’t know what do do.
