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Hi Heidi,
Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this. I am honestly so grateful. I sat with everything and deeply reflected. Alot of this resonates deeply.
What has been challenging is that I don’t always react and go into my wounding – I also have a lot of tools and have been doing the work for years and years. My man and I went through some serious unfortunate events (outside of our control) and it was very hard to build a stable relationship on top of it.
The amazing thing is – we have reconnected and we are better than ever. We are going to take a few more weeks of space as we work on our stuff, but he has also taken responsibility for his part in the sabotage and sees it clearly like I do.
I know this love wasn’t over. It just didn’t feel right to be over. We are soulmates. And we are meant to be together.
We both see the parts we played to push eachother away instead of in those moments choosing a different response. There were also many many times we leaned in and chose to communicate effectively and clearly and repair after conflicts
Thank you for your help!
Things are moving along beautifully and I know he and I are stronger than ever!
Abby
Hi Heidi,
Thank you so much for your message! I so appreciate it! He feels he cannot meet my needs in the way I want him to. I did get into criticism and expectations in the relationship and demands (instead of inspiring him) to meet my needs. I see the part I played in this.
So yes I know the part I played influenced his decision and his belief he cannot meet my needs. My deepest wounds are “I am unloveable” and hard to love. A part of me is still afraid of committment.
He has fears of committment too and his deepest wound is “I am not enough”. He started to just focus on himself and stopped holding the vision for our relationship and moving forward. He stopped including me in his plans and communicating effectively with me.
Abby
