[Miroslavna K]

Aquí tienes el texto mejorado y traducido al inglés:

Texto en español:
Feliz lunes, Heidi,

He aprendido mucho de todo lo que me escribes. Finalmente, creo que él no está interesado en mí románticamente. Acabo de leer un libro sobre cómo hacer que alguien se obsesione contigo, y me di cuenta de que he cometido 5 de los 7 errores más graves con él, mientras que desde el principio él fue muy claro conmigo: solo quería mi amistad. Yo solo leí lo que quería ver, tal como tú lo mencionas. Todo es un éxito o un aprendizaje.

He aprendido y voy a memorizar e integrar las reglas de las que hablan los libros. No se trata de cambiarme, sino de convertirme en la persona que realmente quiero ser. A veces las circunstancias nos alejan de nuestros propios valores, y es el momento de volver a ellos, vivir en el presente, como tú dices, y disfrutarlo.

¡Gracias por todo! Si algún día quieres visitar Valencia, aquí tienes una amiga.

Que tengas un día maravilloso,
Con todo mi amor,
Miroslavna

Traducción al inglés:
Happy Monday, Heidi,

I have learned a lot from everything you’ve written to me. In the end, I believe he is not romantically interested in me. I just finished reading a book about how to make someone obsess over you, and I realized that I’ve made 5 out of the 7 biggest mistakes with him, while from the very beginning, he was clear that he only wanted my friendship. I just saw what I wanted to see, just like you said. Everything is either a success or a lesson.

I’ve learned, and I’m going to memorize and apply the rules the books talk about. It’s not about changing who I am but becoming the person I truly want to be. Sometimes circumstances pull us away from our own values, and now is the time to return to them, live in the present as you’ve said, and enjoy it.

Thank you for everything! If you ever want to visit Valencia, you have a friend here.

Have a wonderful day!
With all my love,
Miroslavna

[Miroslavna K]

Good morning, Heidi,

First of all, I want to say that you are wonderful. Thank you for responding so quickly to what I write and for taking the time to truly invest your heart in my case. I am so grateful. I live in Spain, but I would love to meet you in person just to give you a hug for being such a beautiful soul.

Now, about the man in question:

He values me greatly as a friend and tells me so. He says he loves me, but in that friendly way we often express in Spanish. I recently turned 44, and I have three children aged 7, 4, and 2.5. He is five years older than me, with two children aged 15 and 18. He knows my children, and I’m not sure if he felt overwhelmed by their energy at first, but my youngest adores him. I haven’t met anyone from his circle, but he has met mine because he helped me organize my eldest daughter’s birthday party in June.

He was married for 25 years. His wife left him and is now dating someone else. From what he’s shared, things between them slowly started to fall apart; if he entered the bedroom, she would leave for the living room, and vice versa. This all happened four years ago. I started chatting with him when two of my younger children were still quite little, but we didn’t meet in person until last November. So, he’s been separated for about four years. In that time, he briefly dated three women, but all of them left him without explaining why. That’s all he’s told me, in just a few lines.

Yesterday, when I received your email, it was like a shockwave for me. I cried, translated it for my three closest friends into Spanish, and then, just as I was processing it all, he messaged me, asking if I needed help with a deliverable for my Master’s program. We started talking, and I broke down crying from the weight of everything I’m facing… a single mother of three (their father doesn’t help at all, isn’t even in Spain), with no family to turn to, working, supporting them all on my own, and now doing a Master’s program to change my career and earn more money to provide better for them. My youngest son went through septic shock, etc., etc. I told him he’s a Taurus and they can be inflexible (I’m not sure if I believe in zodiac signs, but I do in people born in May), and I’m a Virgo. When we first met, I couldn’t see his best qualities clearly. The first time he stayed over, my baby got sick, and I panicked, thinking it was going to be another septic shock. The next day, he told me something wasn’t working between us… and, honestly, I was closed off emotionally back then.

I told him that when he said months ago he didn’t see me as someone he could spend the rest of his life with, I understood it. I may come across as a confident woman, but he senses my insecurities. I also said I don’t think he’s truly gotten to know me yet. One thing I know about myself is that, deep down, I’m still that pure and transparent child born in the northern Himalayas, and that makes me deeply proud of who I am. But I do have social insecurities, having built my life in Spain for the last 19 years, facing the challenges of adapting to another culture.

He told me that instead of a video call, what I needed was a hug, and that he was coming over. I agreed, and he came. When he arrived, I couldn’t say everything you had advised in your email. He hugged me, and all the oxytocin, the comfort of it, relaxed me, and what came out instead was the stress from my Master’s and work. I explained everything that had happened during the week while leaning on his chest. He comforted me and said he’d help however he could. I asked him if he ever feels lonely, and he said he did, right after his wife left him and again during the lockdown, but he’s used to living with his parents, and then with his wife and children.

At the beginning, physical contact with me felt awkward for him, especially since we’re “just friends,” but now he seems more comfortable. He hugs me more and is more open to spending time together. There was a period when we clashed a lot over the words he used with me, which made me feel bad, and I even stopped speaking to him for a few days. He told me I was the only person he ever had such verbal clashes with, and it felt like a heavy weight for him. In August, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let his words affect me, like when he says “be brief” or something similar. It’s not about him; it’s about me, because I’m kind, and Spanish isn’t my native language. Anyway, we’ve had around six “dates” since then, and he always seems happy when he leaves. His hero instinct seems to kick in, as he helps me with my Master’s, moves furniture, etc.

I don’t know if he’s seeing other women. I do go out for coffee, dinner, or art exhibitions with other men. Yesterday, I felt like we’re getting closer, like if I could manage my emotional swings and imagination better, and if neither of us met anyone else in the coming months, maybe things between us could change.

He’s not the kind of man you can give an ultimatum to—he would close off completely. But maybe the magic of making him happy could, at some point, surpass his past. He told me months ago that he’s attracted to me as a woman but holds back to avoid hurting me. And it’s true, he’s a noble and altruistic man, working at the UN, etc. That’s why I’ve grown to admire and respect him more and more over time.

Today, I realized that when I’m strong, everything goes well. But when I’m weak and emotionally unstable, we take steps backward. Yesterday, I saw in his eyes a desire for something he may not even fully understand yet—whether it’s a deep friendship or if something different could grow in the future. Am I fooling myself?

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