[Deidra G]

Hello Spyce, thank you for your reply. You make some valid points but I feel compelled to give you more context. You asked what happened in 2019 that led to our divorce. But before I get into that please understand that he was my everything, there was nothing or no one that would’ve told me that we would end up divorced. I wanted him and my family more than anything in this world. I was very proud of us and the bond we shared. However, we worked very hard to provide a good life that most times didn’t allow nearly enough quality time together. I looked past the warning signs and red flags, taken for granted that nothing would tear us apart. And then temptation and weakness showed up into infidelity that led to a child being conceived. And I was willing to even overlook that only to find out that he kept that secret for three years. That broke me and was my final straw. I deserved better and I decided to file for divorce. But I hated that decision. I didn’t think he cared so for two years, I lived a single life whatever that looked like because my ex was my only adult relationship. It was depressing. None the less I dated and had single life experiences. I didn’t enjoy it because I was numb to it all. In 2021, my ex and I went out to one of our favorite artist concert. We had a great time but I saw it as two friends hanging out. I would find out later that was him opening the door to an us again. We went to another concert that was a road trip where we spent hours talking. Again, I was thinking friendship, but he was thinking more. On our way back he told me what he was feeling and wanted. I was elated. So we jumped in it but we still had unresolved issues from our marriage that seeped into this new relationship. We didn’t know how to let all of it go so that we could build a new. So we decided to be friends until we could figure it. For a year (since early 2023) I have been working on myself, getting healthy physically and mentally. All while thinking I was working on also to get back to me and my ex. At least that was the conversation we had. We would still see each other from time to time. Apparently I wasn’t aware that we were going in separate directions and ended up on two different pages.

You asked who is DeeDee and what does she want. The problem with that question is that even though I know who I am, I still just want him. I want another chance. I figured out my part and know what I would do different. But if not a romantic relationship, then our friendship is the most important thing to me right now. I don’t want the last conversation to be a last memory. I’ll accept taking a break because obviously I don’t have a choice in that. Maybe we don’t talk but is there a text I can send to him that would extend an olive branch to at least wipe out that last conversation? Or is that gesture a waste of time?

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