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Hi Heidi
So yeah I’m glad I wasn’t the only one to think this I would like him too. So is it ok to talk to him everyday but like not everyday cuz yesterday I just texted a couple cuz his phone wasn’t working well? We used to talk a lot as u see when he did say in the email 🙂 is there any thing I should say like what in the book I should talk about like asking him for advice or some other questions would like more advice to get his mind into secret Obsession 😍✨. I did ask before but bc I don’t live in a permanent place I wasn’t sure but I think if he would defiantly bring me back to live with him I know I could try and do my study’s there for CPA tax and or ayerveda herbal practitioner at the same time 🙂 and even tho he doesn’t have a job now maybe me working these places he would have to go anywhere or like would be easier to do things in the house. And I hope build his confidence in providing? Not sure. 🙂 I know for a fact he would be happy if I don’t work nights like 9pm7am type jobs so at least with the CPA it’s 9-5 can be 9-9pm during tax season so not super bad and we can do a lot together. Yeah they do know I love joe the one guy knew he had a feeling someone started talking to me which he is a Leo like me so he is caring and he knows by the email too he’s a good guy and he truly cares the other guy I didn’t let him know yet I will maybe soon but I’ll have to see how he will be. But I hope he does understand I mean I’m not the only one he’s interested so I know I’m good generous and such and the other guy thinks the Aquarius guy might be taking advantage tho he did say when he gets a good job he will repay me back for me being better then his pieces sister. And me always being there when none of his like NY ppl he knew since school and such wouldn’t be there for him in his bad moments so that’s why he feels like that but I just wanna be a good person to others but ppl I guess always fall in love or something with me could be infatuation never know.So you think I should be myself email him back about or talk to him In the phone? About like us thing?
So joe the message I got he does wanna get back? I just didn’t want to say anything yet to him bc of like the program thing? Or should I just be my normal self and keep reading the book. And still continue to talk to him on the phone. He did call me today saying he has to take the cat to the hospital cuz he thinks someone hurt the cat 🙁 he got injured by something but the cameras he said he can’t view them.
Well the only reason bc they were pushy and like at first I was only friends with them and once they knew I got out of the state he was the one guy from NY thinks he can get me which I’m not emotionally and physically attractive to him and he’s very cocky I don’t like that. The other guy my friend introduced me to him for to do Uber eats and to bike he got attached to me bc of how nice a generous I am bc I like treating my friends out even the NY guy but I told them that’s a Leo and rabbit thing so not sure why they took it another way I’m just doing what the creator wants me to do is love thy neighbor but the way they keep talking about wanting tobe with me and such i dont like they says they how they are but not many woman like that namely me and like idk what I should do. He did say the one guy says he will still talk to me the other guy he knew I lived with him and was always worried when I was living with him and he knew I liked joe alot. But either he forgets or he’s just thinking about himself more then what I told him when I started talking to him when before I went to the state joe lived.
Yeah I’m trying to read the book more bc I think I still need some time bc I wanna do these words for him too make him feel like he has a purpose and such bc he’s so sad and such I think me being in his life might help him not be so alone I hope. It’s been a rollercoaster for me too with these two guys who like me but I’m not into them and it makes me sad that ppl try to push me when I like patience and such just like joe he never was like them. Is there anything I can read to help me with these two guys like I think I have a bit of trauma not sure or maybe cuz joe called too it just saddened me bc they knew I love joe but are upset also at joe what he did tho I feel for joe I know he was stressed and such but they kept snapping at me why I still loved him and such and just makes me upset that they are trying to pursue me while I’m still in healing mode with Joe. I haven’t told them that I talked to joe not sure if I should but I’m gonna maybe not see much of them as much.
We talked on the phone, I didn’t call him, he called & he left a voicemail and sent this in email. This day I was sleeping all day cuz I wasn’t feeling well and I woke up before my mom and sis came home from work I was getting food at the time downstairs when he called, we talked he talked mostly about what happened to him and such and I didn’t talk about anything love or whatever but I told him I’m grateful that he called I forgot what else I said.
Trying.. ←subject
hi celia, im just now reading some of the end of your messages…im crying.
i cant even type much right now my head hurts alot, but i just wanted to say i understand now i think what happened and why you blew up on me, the same state of mind that i was in, i didnt know you were sleep deprived, and im sure ive had some brain damage which didnt help me discertain from my trauma.
i dont remember everything that was said even though im trying to go through and read everything,
i wondered at the time when you left if i shouldve asked you to stay. Now i think i should have, although at the time i was super depressed and didnt know how to handle a new girl living here, i never lived with anyone outside of my family, (not counting jail).
I was actually really happy you did make a move on me, or maybe just surprised? because i dont think im worth anything celia, i havent had a desire to be happy or pursue anything in a long time…. felt like a failure as a man, had nothing to do with you. i
I really did mean every word i said when i said how great you are. You work hard, youre sweet and loving, i could go on.
those things i said, the name calling, im sorry. i was locked in like a trance, i wasnt in reality, i was in trauma, and i was scared and angry.I never sold your stuff or even threw it out, i didnt trust sending anything to a po box that large, but i also didnt know how to handle any of this.
i guess i do miss you, i definitely miss talking to you. i guess i didnt realize, because of all that happened with the hospital a year ago, how close we were getting in december 2022.
i wish i had brought you here then. im sorry im such an awful person.
_#__he added #
if you’d call me id really be thankful. dont have to. no one else does.And ohh ok to the ending part. I do have to send it in the mail tho but I can send for free. Just waiting on my old boss to print the picture on the paper.
YES thanks it’s true I wanna wait that’s why I waited longer then two months 😂 bc last time I didn’t give enough time and I emailed him a lot 😂🥺 when I shouldn’t have
I was also thinking of giving him a Pokémon card with Charisse’s and brexian but I did put to joe live Celia and was gonna write like it’s me and you like maybe warriors or stronger together like the show I live called miraculous ladybug and cat noir but it might be for another day I suppose or something else, I did get some cute cloths for him that I know might look good on him but I know now isn’t the good time tho I heard for cancer he does like that type of stuff. I was gonna send him not sure if I said a card with his name and what said after the letter like a poem almost but that time I screwed up and I didn’t sent it in time or finished it 🙁 but I wrote something cute maybe I can put it here later when I finish it.
Thanks <3 yes it does, I thought about writing something but I didn’t want to say anything with love or much so that does sound good and very simple cuz I was gonna give him some bible quotes but was scared he might push away like the Bible verse about the relationship one if ur by urself u fall harder but if u have two u both will support each other I don’t remember the verse but it’s a good one 🙂 this bible was found on a holiday when I came back from work and I found one with a bible and the little book that talks about many things so happy 😀 but I like the one u did sent. So I will send the one card that has the kitty with stars on it and send him extra ones that are blank to him <3
I do feel safe and loved by him when I lived with him tho and I hope he felt the same when I lived with him bc he had some neighbor trying poison him one time the year before and the only reason he finally got the camera bc I told him that way abd when i go there also it wasnt just for work it was for him too bc all the crazy stuff that happens to him hes a cancer and im a leo. He was being possessive over the cat only which but everything else seemed fine to me now I know since Ive been away from him I kinda understand what happened a bit and that he needs to be more open and communicate to me and me to him too which i know we can do it bc I will encourage him more since i know he’s sensitive. And I don’t mind if he needs to be harsh if he wants like what happen with the cat but the way that he did say it I didn’t like and I just hope when I communicate with him with that gental u have to be with a leo and I know it could be better
I was supportive but I have bad memory so I don’t remember what stuff but I know I did may not been enough like I should have but I didn’t want to overwhelm him. this was after I left about what happened with the cat issue when his adrenaline problem. Cuz we talked about having a farm together so why be possessive over an animal when it’s unity togetherness we would do this farm so I understand that he was and I’m not sure if I told him but I think it was something he wasn’t telling bc it’s something in the book that says ppl will complain about the stupidest things which yes he was greatful but when ryu had the problem again I asked him in front of him if he wanted me to clean him up do i guess he did wanted me too cuz he let me. So I really would just like to know what I can do bc I don’t hold grudges or even remember bad things I told him that maybe a week or depending on what he said I forget about it eventually but bc he is different I dont know what he thinks. I’ve been no contact over two months so I would like to step into the a zone to connect with him again I heard mercury retrograde ends 25th so maybe I’ll be trying then. I was thinking of sending him some postcards or greeting cards of the photos I took of him and his cat and dog 🙂 which had some art effects on it that he might like.
We didn’t have that bad it was just he has hip problems and right before I left bc the cat had a surgery he had a adrenaline problem and affected him but he was really good tho to me I think all the issues with money and such got him agitated bc the cat surgery and stuff was a lot and he doesn’t work when he got his moms inheritance tho and not sure I wanna be there for him but the no contact I’ve been doing and idk I heard the lady said bc it’s mercury retrograde to not message.
