[Sonja G]

Thank you for reaching back! It is a horrible situation to be in and I’m sorry for being in it as well as others that have to go through this. When he gets stress yes he does draw himself back and stays busy or becomes distant. This isn’t the first time we’ve gone through stress for him. He also tends to lean on his mother a lot more. In turn, the way I handle stress isn’t exactly healthy because I’m more on edge and tend to snap more. I don’t really talk to many people to reach out to. I will vent then be edgy. This isn’t the first time he’s drawn himself so far away he doesn’t speak for awhile. Yes, I did lose all of the love language during the last 6 months and he did try to drop hints what he needed but I was so busy doing all the things around the house and keeping the kids going that I just nagged and nagged. While trying to fight depression and anxiety. This did all start when his stepfather died. His mother has a huge property she has to take care of with a whole bunch of things. But in turn trying to do all that he put me last and this lasted for months. I tried to explain to him my feelings but he never listened and made me out to be the bad guy because his mom needed help. I completely understand she needs it and not discarding that but that’s not how he took it.

I do feel like he is grieving and very lost and needs help. He has an amazing heart though.

This isn’t the first time we’ve been through a split. We started out as friends for a long time and he would just randomly check in on me here and there then we started hanging out. The kicker to that is we were both married at the time. Yes, we did have an affair that lasted so long. I was ending my marriage prior to him coming into my life and he wasn’t happy at home (so he told me). Well, the town we live in talks. People found out. We talked civilly through it all then when I asked him to say goodbye to me (because I feel like that’s forever) he never did. Never heard from him. He got divorced had some relationships so I heard then reached back out to me 7 months later. I took the first round breakup if you call it that very hard. Cried. Wouldn’t eat. Didn’t leave my apartment for a long time. It took an army of them to get me back. Well, after him trying to get me back I decided to let him back in. We were amazing. So happy. Talked about everything together. Did everything together. Everything I ever wanted with him. He didn’t like the guy friends in my life so in March of 2022 him and one of them got into a fight. That fight ended all my friendships and I wanted to leave him. It took him telling me he’d change, his parents talking to me and him going to therapy to keep me around. I came around and we were amazing again. Had our typical couple fights that everyone does but it was good for years. Then his step dad passed I was there for him and his mom. Did everything I could to help them. Then this happened. I don’t know if I can get him back. He says he is lost and that I did it and I broke him. He has said the damage is too far gone to be fixed. I don’t think that. I think he needs help. I feel he is running. Taking the easy way out. I have given him 2 chances in our relationship and he can’t even give me one to show him it’ll be better now that I know the issue? I don’t get it. I do have trust issues with him but I think that’s because of how we met. No it’s not fair to him. Currently, me and my kids are still living at his house. I’m trying to find a place to go and figure everything out. I gave up everything for this man who is throwing it away so easily! I don’t get it. How is he doing this?

[Author]

Posts