[Vanessa L]

Hi Spyce,

Thanks for you advice. I was still untouched with him. And he still responded.

Me :

I need to be with my sister- in-law. Protecting my nephews and nieces from my brother’s infidelity. So frustrating and disappointing that I’m too far away. Thanks for the Goodluck Vanessa. Lol

By the way, please send my warm regards to your family, especially your son, your mum, grandparents, uncle David aunties, ur geek lovely cousin, the twins I’m missing them give warmest hugs for me. Also, my mum sends her best wishes, especially with your training achieving your goal. Take care and stay well.

Him
I hope your family is doing well and keeping good. I hope your brother will see he is to help his family and look after them. Thanks for the kind regards to all my family. I tell them you are asking for them. Told your mum thank you for the kind wishes. I am trying my best and enjoying a lot working in the station training. It’s almost time to go back to the college 🙈 hope you’re keeping well and doing good. Take care Vanessa 🙂

Me:

Hey, from busy night shifts here. But your words mean a lot to me. I never doubt your determination in pursuing your goals, and it makes me truly happy to hear that great news you’re enjoying your station training. Your positivity and dedication are inspiring, not just to me but to everyone around you, especially your family. Keep shining, and I’m here cheering you on every step of the way.
It warms my heart to know that your family is also in good health. I appreciate your kind words about my family, and I’m glad to hear that you sent my regards to them.
I’ve got some fantastic things happening in my life too to share. Yeah I’m very well. Thanks. Keeping up my fitness outside work. Friendly kind new colleagues. They are loving me more with my presence, patient and relatives. It’s so amazing how people welcomed me so well. My co Nurse In Charge, he is so nice person how he treated me so well. And a lot more great things to tell and to fill you in when the chance comes along.🙈Keep it up and well too. Take care 😊

Him

Thank you for the kind words. That’s great. I’m glad to hear you’re doing very well in the new workplace, and all is going very well for you. Keep up the good work and being kind to everyone around you. Talk care 🙂

He sounds just like casual.
But I accepted ur advise.

Thanks a lot
Vanessa

[Vanessa L]

Hi Spyce,

It was generally my fear I broken up with him. It was the fear of my past I didn’t trust because of the distance. The space I asked him didn’t expect that he will ended us breaking up fully. I was willing to wait until we get to the point we plan to meet. I have no guts nor confident to wean him back fully to ask. The only best way I know I could keep him is to ask for an apology and to tell him the great things the space that he agreed and gave me. I don’t want to push him further and slowly loose him. This is the recent messages:

I need to be with my sister- in-law. Protecting my nephews and nieces from my brother’s infidelity. So frustrating and disappointing that I’m too far away. Thanks for the Goodluck Vanessa. Lol

By the way, please send my warm regards to your family, especially your son, your mum, grandparents, uncle David aunties, ur geek lovely cousin, the twins I’m missing them give warmest hugs for me. Also, my mum sends her best wishes, especially with your training achieving your goal. Take care and stay well.

This is his response:

I hope your family is doing well and keeping good. I hope your brother will see he is to help his family and look after them. Thanks for the kind regards to all my family. I tell them you are asking for them. Told your mum thank you for the kind wishes. I am trying my best and enjoying a lot working in the station training. It’s almost time to go back to the college 🙈 hope you’re keeping well and doing good. Take care Vanessa 🙂

[Vanessa L]

I would like to reconnect and meet me so I know where we are. Is that confusing what I want from my messages. All I understand is that he only wants me as friends.

[Vanessa L]

I would like to reconnect and meet me so I know where we are.

[Vanessa L]

He replied few hrs after
Im glad you’re doing very good at work and going well with everything thats important. We are already friends, don’t worry, that has not changed at all. we will catch up again sometime when I go to London again to see how each other is getting on 🙂

Take care, Vanessa. we will keep in touch and I hope you continue to do well. Keep healthy and happy my dear 🙂

[Vanessa L]

We have met 23 months ago here in London and as he lives here for work with his dad as builder. We kind of have a strong connection and get into a relationship after few months of asking to date me. We spend time together. We kind of like doing the same thing together. We travelled away. He took to Ireland to meet his family and his dad in where we stayed there and mine alternatively. I get so close to his family members all of them and his grandparents on both sides dad and mum. I get close to his mum where we stayed and sleep but days we are in his grandparents I have photos us in his room and here in London and mine as well displayed. Met his best friend here and in Ireland. I met his ex now with someone getting married next year. He has a son with 14 yrs old and yeah we get along also with his little cousins we’re closed to me too. He never introduced anyone to his family before properly. I have anxious attachment that sometimes it makes my mood affects our connection that he is kind of doesn’t want to deal with. But I have been honest abt to him. We have a big unexpected issue that my mood made him so frustrated that caused breakup when that time he came down to London from Ireland to spend Xmas with me that he thought i didn’t appreciate his effort he did. At that time he was kind of jobless, applying for work around. That was wrong time of the argument and he walked away till he went back to Ireland and broken up with me. It about three weeks of text and explaining of what happened and he asked me to talk in the video cam. We managed to get back together that something nothing happened. We kind of my mood was the one that he can’t take. So we get back together after new year. Went to Ireland to see him and his family was very happy and his mum told us that only space we needed to think abt things. All happy seeing his family again. During that time until I went back to London to go back work. We talk everyday text video cam every other night. He stressed out of not having a job. During that time he applied in the Police Training in Ireland February March April Stages of Application he passed waiting for Start of training. until he came down to London in May to see me and work with his dad to get more money too for his training expenses. He so stressed out with no income to save. Surprisingly that time he was with me May after few days we were together he was called to start training the following day so he has to prepare to go back to Ireland. We are both happy and supporting him from the start of the training. We have a goal of me moving to Ireland coz I’m nurse I work over there so we are nearby to see each other. His training for 33 weeks and we can only see each other after 11weeks training because of the time off he can only have is weekend and he has to travel for 4hrs drive just to stay with his family. I can’t see him while he is training because no one allowed to visit also he can’t really get out of training to meet me. One thing during the background check of his application he has to present himself as single because if he present that he has a partner then the background check will take longer because I live in London and my family is in other country which need their background too. We decided to keep him single. During his training we talked everyday text and video cam as in no change the way we communicate. Getting to the end of 11 weeks I felt like he was distant and not communicating he is very stressed out of falling part of his exam .only by text of saying normal things and nothing telling me this until I asked him. He doesn’t want to give his stress into me. I felt become anxious and fear of what’s going on but still positive messages I’m sending him to understand and support him. I don’t want to open up to him that I was feeling hurt because I don’t want to be Pain and add to his stress. We text and I noticed it become a week the last time he video cam. I get scared and the 11th day end and he is very happy that they will be allocated station for 11weeks nearby his home so easy for him for training. We talked abt two weeks he will settle to the station and either he will come to London and I suggested to him I prefer to over coz I missed his family as well. We talked abt it maybe on the 9th week. On the day of the end of 11 weeks. Somehow my fear came to me to break up with him via email.

Christopher,
I hope this message finds you well. There are some things I need to share with you, and it’s not easy for me to put my feelings into words. Over the past few weeks, I have felt broken-hearted and deeply hurt, and I can’t ignore the signs that I’ve been giving, hoping for a change that hasn’t come.

I’ve noticed a shift in our relationship, and I feel like my attempts to reach out and connect have been met with distance and a feeling of being pushed away. It’s been incredibly challenging for me to cope with broken promises and failed boundaries, leaving me feeling uncertain and unimportant.

Since 11 weeks ago, I have seen a different side of you, and it’s been difficult to reconcile the person you once were with the person I see now. It feels like we’ve drifted apart, and the emotional connection we once shared has been lost.

I remember when you gave up on us once before, and it’s been hard to shake the fear that history might repeat itself. I want to be honest with you and acknowledge that my trust in the future of our relationship has been shaken.

I know you may be going through a lot with your current situation, but I can’t help but feel that you’re looking for something else, thinking that the grass might be greener on the other side of the fence. It’s essential for me to take a step back and give us both space to think about what we truly want and need.

I want to be clear that this letter is not meant to place blame or create conflict; it’s an opportunity for both of us to cool off and reflect on where we stand. I believe that distance and time apart might bring some clarity and perspective.

I value the time we’ve spent together, and I care deeply for you. But I also recognize the importance of being true to myself and prioritizing my emotional well-being.

Please take this letter with an understanding heart, and know that I need some time to heal and process my emotions. I hope you’ll respect my need for space and use this time to reflect on your feelings as well.

Thank you for the memories we shared, and I sincerely wish you all the best in your journey.

With heartfelt wishes,

He response at the end of the day:

I’m sorry you feel that way and that it has come to this. It’s not the email I wanted to receive when I was helping with the graduating ceremony this morning. I’m not going to lie it did upset me and driving home I thought about what you said. I see now that this relationship is not working for us anymore. And its not fair for you to have your life on pause because I’m training in Ireland.

I haven’t changed I’m still me, I am just finding a lot of pressure and stress at times since I started the training college as it’s very demanding and challanging. I do see that long distance is not working for us. even tho we have tried to make it work. Us not being together in person is making it very hard for us and knowing there is still lots of months of Training ahead of me. Another 22 weeks isn’t fair on our relationship.
We are both on different paths and live in different countries. And after seeing your feelings and worries It’s clear now this is not going to work anymore with the current paths our life’s has taking us on. It’s not fair on you or me to keep going on in hope that it will all be fine when we both see now its clearly not.

Thank you for being so kind, thoughtful, loving and supporting. You really have been the best girlfriend I anyone could ask for. I hope your new job goes very well for you and I wish you a successfully and happy future.

Since this response I started no contact for 30 days. I reached out 3 times for about 10 days but only asking for help of something related to his interest that I know about him. He has positive responses.

I reached out yesterday after reading infatuation instinct.

I sent this message as 4th Reach out.
Hi it’s me,
I hope you’re doing well and don’t disturb you with this message. I’ve had some time to reflect on everything, and this is the only way to express this I’m waiting to tell you for awhile. I want to sincerely say, I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any pain during our time together. Please forgive me for any mistakes or misunderstandings.

I’m sorry that I sometimes become weak with my emotions. It’s something I’ve been working on, and I realize it affected our relationship. I also asked for space in the middle of my uncertainty, a pattern I recognize in myself, which I know must have been confusing and hurtful.

On behalf of my wounded child, I want to extend my deepest apologies. The doubt that may have caused in our relationship because of a distance, as well as misunderstanding the challenges and difficulties you’ve faced with your training, is something I deeply regret.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the space you’ve given me. I know you needed that space to focus on achieving your desires and goals, and I respect your dedication. The space is the only way I knew, deep inside me at that time, to support you in focusing on your goals, and I’m so proud of you. The space I had made me focused with positive results on my side. I want you to know that you were part of these positive moments, my inspiration, and my motivation. I won’t ask for more than what you’ve provided me since you’ve been a part of my life.

I also want you to know that, despite everything, I still care deeply for you. Saying ‘I love you’ is an understatement of how I truly feel. Our connection was special, and it’s something I hold mahal.

I understand if you need more time or if you don’t want to reconnect. But I felt it was essential to express these feelings and thoughts honestly. No matter what, I wish you nothing but happiness and peace in your life.

Your always be my SuperMcdyre and I know that I’m always be your Superwonderwoman. And no one can take that away.

Take care. 😘🤗

His response:
Thanks for the kind massege Vanessa. I want you to know you have nothing to say sorry about at all. The distance and time apart have not helped even though we tried to make it work for as long as we could. We are both on different paths in life and that how it has come to our relationship ending.

You have given me so much happiness in our time together, and I’m very thankful for that. I’m lucky to have spent that time with you and you will always have a special place in my heart.

Even tho we have gone our different ways, I am still here to support and help you, if it’s for a talk or picking a car or movie ect.

I’m proud of you and sll you have achieved and want to wish you all the happiness and success in the future and I know you will achieve it. You’re smart, hard working, very kind, and there’s nothing that will stop you in life 🙂

Take care my dear 🙂
That was his response after 30 mins of text last night

I replied today to that text last night this:

Thank you so much for your heartfelt message, Christopher. Your words mean a lot to me, and I’m truly grateful for the happiness we shared during our time together. You’ve been an important part of my life, and that won’t change.

I appreciate your support and the fact that you’re still here for me means a great deal. I’d love too you offer catch up sometime, whether it’s for a talk, grabbing a coffee, or even watching a movie. The door to our connection remains open whenever you’re ready.

It’s wonderful to know that you’re proud of my achievements, and I feel the same way about you. You’ve always been an amazing person, and I believe in your future successes too.

Take care, Chris and know that whenever you decide, I’m here to reconnect as friends or explore where our paths might lead. Sending warm wishes your way.” 😊🌟

Few hrs that he has no reply yet.

Not sure what to do now.

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