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Yes! The wedding was a lot of fun! We had a good time together and he mixed well with friends and new faces! We spent the night together and hooked up after but didn’t talk about it the next morning. Should I bring it up or just let it be. He initiated everything
Yes! He’s joining me for the wedding tomorrow! He initially was unsure but said yes when I said it was not a family wedding.
I’m just riding it out and letting him set the pace and most of the communication. I’m getting less attached to the control. I’ll keep doing what we’re doing until it doesn’t serve me anymore and then make a decision I guess
It was fun! I didn’t really bring up the relationship. He told me I should go home and not sleep over since we’re not dating and I did say “we’ll we went on a date so we kind of are dating” to which he replies “we got dinner not went in a date” and we laughed. It’s hard to detach from his signals. I don’t know how to not wonder what he’s thinking and feeling because a lot of our communications feel like they did when we were dating. They’re just less frequent. I am letting him set the pace and trying to just focus on our connection not a relationship but man is that hard!!! Maybe soon I’ll try the learning and growing technique. He calls me out on having an ego when I try to act like he’ll never do better than me! I’m trying to build confidence but he knows me and maybe sees that I’m faking it to make myself believe it too!
Great idea about the wedding! I may just have to make sure he tells me by a certain date so I can tell my friend if he’s coming or not. No one in that circle knows we broke up so it’s going to be awkward regardless!!
Update we had dinner and watched a movie at his place. When the movie was over he told me I should go home because we’re not dating we shouldn’t have a sleepover. Do we think he sees this as a friendship?? Or figuring out if we could make it work long term? I can’t tell if I’m misinterpreting his willingness to spend time together as testing the waters
I know I’ll be ok which provides comfort some times but after two days of less and less texting I’m not sure what to do. Do I initiate or pull away and let him come to me if he wants to.
It’s hard not to bring up the relationship but I’ve been strong. How long should I wait before bringing it up. A number of weeks or a number of positive meetups?
Also we were supposed to go to a wedding next weekend. Should I bring it up or just let it pass and go alone ?
Thanks for such a thoughtful reply! I’ll have to try that exercise and see what comes up! I like the question ‘What is it that you are wanting from him, that you are not willing to give to yourself?’ I’ll definitely unpack that!
We had a super fun day yesterday! I planned a day trip and we has a lot of fun (I was never the planner when we were together)! On the way home he wanted to continue the night. I ended up sleeping at his apartment. We didn’t cuddle. We got smoothies together in the morning and didn’t talk about the relationship at all. It was a really nice day and a positive interaction and felt like we were dating (other than the lack of touching/kissing). I want to keep showing him those fun glimpses of our connection with no drama. I think we could come up with a list but i’m not ready to have that talk yet. I feel like we’re rebuilding our connection like when we were first dating.
My worry is that he’s going to be content with this friendship and not want to be in a relationship since it almost feels the same as what we had, just less consistent
Thank you!!!
I’m reading books, watching videos and webinars and listening to podcasts. I’ve been taking notes on things that resinate with me. I’ve been good at recognizing things that I resonate with, but still need some work on the whys…why I do certian things or feel certain ways.
We’re definitely still connecting. we text every day (less than before). He initiates most convos. We went out for drinks the other night. I kept trying to talk about the relationship and he said he didn’t want to talk about that. The only thing he mentioned is that he wasn’t sure, that we had a lot of differences that he didn’t want to overlook and that if he was to try again he’d have to feel confident that this could work out for the rest of our lives. I left and gave him a really meaningful present I had made for him to celebrate an achievement before the breakup. He said it was one of the nicest gifts someone had given him and has been connecting positively since. We had planned to see each other over the weekend and I planned a nice day for us today. My goal is to not focus on the relationship just getting comfortable in trusting each other again and taking the advice you mentioned above.
I am just scared that if I give him all the positives of a relationship while we’re not together that he won’t feel the need to be in a relationship with me. What are your thoughts on this??
You’re right! Change needs to happen. I’ve been looking within at why certain things felt like non negotiables in the relationship and now don’t feel that important. I’m uncovering some issues with self esteem and self love that I’m starting to work on.
I saw my ex the other day and he said he didn’t know what he wanted. He is unsure wed be able to be the person the other people needs. But he wants to keep texting and seeing each other weekly. What does this mean? It feels like we’re going on dates but he says they’re not dates we’re just spending time together. Is this doomed or a good sign?
