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Thank you for your reply. I know it’s not easy to hear but it is definitely something I’ve known for a while as this is not the first time we have been through this. He gets scared, runs away, I give him his space and like clockwork he comes back saying he is going to work on letting his past go because he loves me. Things are amazing for a while, he puts forth so much effort, makes sure I’m taken care of and shows his appreciation for me but then back to Mr. Hyde again right when I feel like I can let my guard down. The last time this happened I told him I didn’t want to rush back into things with him, as I was genuinely happy being single and I knew he still had a lot to work on. I agreed to be friends but that just turned it up even more. He just pulled me right back in, because ultimately he knows that is where I want to be. It’s extremely hard to walk away from someone who you know wants to be with you and shows you how much they care for you but can’t seem to accept his trauma for what it is. It’s so hard to stand by and watch this genuine good man drowned because someone was so selfish and careless with his heart. I want to save him but I know you can’t save people, they have to save themselves. I’m just torn. I want to support him but I also know I need to do what’s best for me.
I appreciate the reply! I’m happy to say I did approach this with his hero instinct in mind. I told him I didn’t want to give him the silent treatment but I was upset about something and I needed to sleep on it. He has heard this from me in the past so he knows I am just trying to figure out if my emotions (and overthinking) are to blame or if it’s something that is really effecting me. When we did talk I explained to him I was put off by asking him to go with me a few weeks prior but the answer was no and then he goes with other people. He simply said, that’s fair sorry for making you think it was personal. I see this as a huge breakthrough and achievement in our relationship as he and I have always struggled when conflict arises. Mainly because I’ve been guilty of letting my emotions run the show. Thank you for that information. I will definitely keep these things fresh in my memory if I ever need to approach a sticky situation.
