[Viviane J]

First of all, thank you so much for your reply, it means so much this kind of help right now. I had 9 sessions of therapy before and after separation. My therapist was the one that pointed out that I was in an emotional abusive relationship (not physical though). He has diagnosed with ADHD and very controlling of me. Things kept getting worse so I asked for divorce.
My sessions ended and I never had the reason or time to go into details about this new person in my life with my therapist as it was just early stages. But now, given the amount of suffering I am, I think that’s my main issue to treat atm and I will be looking at options to continue that with government funding with my doctor.
And I understand that is not my fault he’s emotionally unavailable. But at the same time I keep thinking, that he was letting me into his life slowly. As I said for more than one year we talked a lot as friends. Then we were intimate and it was his first time with someone after his divorce 6 years ago. He said he had no one and no sex during all this time. He kept reaching out to check on me daily.. But what he said after he noticed I had feelings is that he thought I wasn’t looking for a relationship at all because of my situation. And what I said is that, indeed I wasn’t, but feelings happened. And I don’t want anything serious right now, but the fact he said “never” hurts. Because even though I don’t and can’t right now, I think is the way things would naturally happen in the future, and even then that would be a maybe as we were still knowing each other. He also mention he was afraid that things could end up badly between us then our daughter’s friendship could be affected to which I understand but at the same time why so negative.. He’s more logic, I am more emotion..
But my head keeps telling me that if I took things slowly maybe he would think differently about it all and not be so scared. Because he never let anyone in his life during all this years, but he let me… he chased me for so long.. and I still don’t understand fully. Does a men do all this just for a one time sex then dump?
What did he actually felt during our time together? He showed so much excitement in the times we made some time to be by ourselves (which was really hard because of the kids), then now it just feels like I was nothing at all…
To top it all of, I live in Australia for 15 years far away from my family in Brazil. Was married here during all this time. I have no one else now. My ex is still very abusive towards me during the kid’s pick up and drop off. I have no career, but I started studying. I don’t drive, can’t buy a car right now. I have some friends but they are busy with their families. So it seems day to day, apart from taking care of my two kids, work and study, gym, I have nothing to look out for. No joy. No plans. I am just so sad, then I miss him. I miss him texting daily and making plans with the kids… that just suddenly disappeared from my life too.
And now I still have to see him often, talk to him often, because our daughter’s see each other all the time.. How will I forget him like that…

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