[Diana R]

Hi Heidi,

When I said I should be a priority in my man’s life, I was referring especially at the fist stages of dating and even before dating when you take a decision to chose somebody for a relationship. I believe that this is when the stage is set for what comes next, how he will be later on in relationship and marriage.

What I mean by priority is not for him to leave aside all his life and pursue me, no matter what, but to show me that he is thoughtful towards me. A simple 2 words message in the morning would be enough for the busiest days. That shows me that I am one of his first thoughts when he wakes up.
I did experience that before indeed to not be a priority, as I experienced the opposite as well, but I really believe I healed from it and I just know what I want now.
Another way of how I look at it is if he is willing to reciprocate as well. If I show you that I am interested to include you in my life, you show me as well that I am an important part of your life and vice-versa. That way we prioritize each other.

As per other things on my list this is what I have in my mind first and foremost:

-He should have same spiritual beliefs, that would lead to common goals to go for us as a couple
-He is a leader and a provider; a way of seeing that is if he is confident enough to pursue me from the first stages of the relationship
– He loves outdoors and he is planning trips and makes traveling plans for us
– He is creative and open-minded, he has his own projects that he enjoys focusing on when he is in his own world

Diana

[Diana R]

Hi Heidi,

It makes alot of sense, yes. I have this list in my mind, but I think it is really important to write it down and determine what is really not negotiable.
One of this would be my rule that I am not dating someone who does not make me a priority.

Thank you!
I appreciate very much the support you give me! I really believe that we, women, have the need to talk about it; any issue, negative pattern or going in the wrong direction will not have any effect on us if we break its power just by talking about it. It makes wonders, really.

[Diana R]

Awesome, Heidi! I love your message so much, if I had any doubts, now I know I shouldn’t give any attention to this guy. I don’t even bother to spend time searching about catfishing to figure out if it that or not, either way he is not the right guy for me.

Thank you very much for taking the time and explain all this. All of us we need to be reminded how we need to guard our heart.

Have a great night,
Diana

[Diana R]

Hi, thank you so much for your reply.

You are totally right! And this is what I want to do. I already told him that I won’t text him long anymore and we should talk with voice and or videochat. We sent each other a short video to make sure we are real. He sent me a hi video and some of his songs. But still the thing that he doesn’t want to talk at the phone and finds excuses it is a red flag for me.

We did not establish that we are in a relationship, that is true indeed..we cannot even consider we are dating because of the distance.. But still, before getting serious I believe at this stage, gathering information about each other it is considered dating and it shouldn’t happen only via text. Is my thinking right?

Also, when he says I should claim him I am not sure he is talking about being exclusive even if we are at the distance and only after that maybe he would consider being more consistent..? If he likes me enough he should talk at the phone more before being exclusive.

Yes, I don’t really have experience in online dating. That is true..He doesn’t seem he is lying about his intentions, but the fact that one day I am the world for him and the next day I don’t exist it is very confusing and is making me to think that he is not a good match for me. I want to clarify with him, I want to talk at the phone, he is just very nice and polite with me and it seems he is taking his time..
At this point I don’t know if I should insist to clarify or to move the conversations via phone call and to come across needy or impatient or just let him be, give him space and see what is his next move.

Thank you,
Diana

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