Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
He and thanks for continued response. Commitment is important bc there is a distinction in his mind. He will treat me differently. I’m noticing the small effort he is putting but it is not enough. I will not truly acknowledge any of it until be shows up in the manner I desire and deserve. In the meantime I’m treating him the way he says I am to him. A friend that he loves.
I agree that me being distant and not so available has made a difference. Last night he expected me to call him and I didn’t and he seemed a bit .. hmm I don’t know how to describe it. He assumed I was working on product for my co. And that’s why I didn’t call, when I told him it was an issue with my daughter he seemed upset that I didn’t call him or inform him. He messaged me all through the morning, which he hasn’t done in awhile. I have been working more on myself and looking at what I need and will not accept in a relationship, so I will not fall back into the Old me. Since I last messaged you he has called even more often and sent me a poem stating his feelings but not yet discussed commitment which I do want but I’m not as anxious about as I was before. So I’ve decided I will not ask him bout it anymore, I will not try and convince him either and I will not chase him. He must put in the effort.
Yes commitment is that important. I have just stopped initiating contact with him. He has now started to question his decision and has now asked me what do I see for our future and do I see it working. He has now professed love but says I don’t want to go back on what I said. But his feelings for me are there. His issue seems now to be how I think so differently than him and on certain issues. Yet he is calling more often and doing things now that I stated I wanted . Now I’m even more confused.
I’ve done something similar to what you are suggesting and he just tells me of late that he is jot ready to be committed to the extinct of being responsible for my well being or having to sacrifice his needs for some one else’s
Thank for your candid response. Yes..two divorces. First marriage at 18 years old and he was very violent and physically abusive to me. I had to move to another state for safety. Second marriage was beautiful, but he was taken from me by cancer, and third marriage was too soon after my husband’s passing and he was unfaithful. He has always apologized and begged to come back, but i refused. He and I and his wife are very close friends.
As far as the new partner nothing about his reservations at all are anything similar to my previous relationships. From what I can tell he seems to be a late bloomer and in his prince stage. He was married for 20 years and his wife died of cancer as well.
Yes I have a temper, but I have adjusted that to his sensitive nature. He let me know that my tongue is a sharp weapon. Since I posted my introduction to my surprise he came over, hung out, stayed for dinner, talked to my other for an hour, cuddled. He wanted to make love I refused him. He expressed how much he misses me. Sooo. I’m at a loss. We have great conversations always, we laugh, have fun together, still. Confused about him and what he wants from me.
