[Diana B]

Hi Heidi. Thanks a lot for your advice, I really appreciate it.
Yes, I know, all this past affected us, we talked about this many times, I told him how I felt and how this past choices affected our relationship, and he also told me how he felt. I do believe we have good communication. We also compliment each other, talk and think that we admire and respect each other. We even talked about what made as choose each other as partners or when was the very first moment when we felt that we fall in love for with each other.But somehow we don’t make it to the next level, and we don’t manage to do those “small things” and get really intimate to each other.
My husband comes from a family where he was emotionally abused by his parents, we often talk about this, he is quite affected by this relationship. I truly understand him, lived with his parents too, and know he is right. Not sure that this has any relation with our relationship, but worth mentioning. I guess he is still not feeling enough support from me.
He knows I want to try again, he is also willing to do so. He is the one that recommended me to get a course about relationships. I am willing to try working with a specialist , will ask his opinion about it, and get back to you. Right now we are living in different locations , this is temporary, in 6 months we will move together to another country. Right now, my husband is again the one that opens doors and prepares everything for us to come there.

[Diana B]

Related to what I want to fight for, my life or him, I had times when I wanted to fight just for my life, and others when I wanted to fight for him. In this parcitular moment, I feel I want to fight for him and our couple.

[Diana B]

Hi Heidi. Thanks for such a quick answer. I will answer your questions, I hope it gives more clarity regarding my relationship with my husband. There were a lot of things going on during this 11 years together, things I omitted to say.
1) I did not want to fight for our relationship in the last few years. We had a long challenging period in our lives when my husband was concentrating on his career and I was concentrating on raising kids, I did not feel emotional support from my husband during this period. He was so concentrating on his career and providing money for us but he was missing from some of the events in our lives that I would have prefered him around( example : the birth of our second child. He did not took even a day off to get me to the hospital, because he was busy, I understand he was busy providing for us, but I felt alone, I could not see him happy during that time, and this made me feel sad, then over 2 years I lived in his parents house, because he had no time to help me with the kids, we did not leave together because he needed rest to be able to work, and a house full of kids was not compatible. A part of me understood him, he was fighting and working for us, but the other part was sad, I felt like I did not matter. Moreover, when he finally achieved his career goals he mentioned several times divorce, because we became distant to each other and he felt like I didn’t do anything for him. I felt betrayed. I was raising his kids, left my career and offered him all the freedom to do whatever he needed in order to achieve his goals. That’s how I started not wanting to fight for him, he mentioned so many times I don’t do anything for him, that I eventually stopped doing something, anyway he was not noticing my efforts. Then he eventually started to see me and kids, being more present in our lives, I was already focusing on creating a career for me.
2) Yes, we both felt attraction to each other in the first 3 years together. We were very close to each other during this period, spending time together all the time , even working together, sharing dreams. At the beginning of our relationship I was surprising him, creating a romantic atmosphere
3) I think I already answered the above.
Now I want to fight for him, because we still have so many things in common, he is the person I loved so much, and I realize that I left my past upsets to influence our future. I don’t imagine him not being part of my life. I am not upset with him anymore. I would like to recreate and be more like I used to be at the beginning of our relationship

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