[Saliha H]

Hi Heidi,
Thank you for your views.
Yes I am a very over giving person. I have never been in a relationship because in our culture we only
Look for marriage and not a relationship in general. And he is aware of this. He is also looking for the same.

I don’t know how to set boundaries with him as I always fear I’ll loose him. I remember at the start of the relationship I had boundaries and he used to oboes by them but when I started to love him I began to over love him by giving him everything besides a physical relationship.

After our first year of being together he said to me when I asked about his intention of marriage he said he doesn’t see me like this and it’s his feelings. He said I’m a perfect girl and any man would want to be with me and I tried my best to feel something but I can’t.

I cried and was heartbroken and asked what I did wrong he said nothing it’s just the feeling. I realised I never shared with him how I felt being with him and what he means to me until at that point and he said o wish you would have shared your feelings with me before..
He wanted to be friends and I said I can’t see him as a friend … I gnomes all messages from him for 2 months (and I think he didn’t expect that so was following me on social media and replying to my stories but I didn’t reply back). Eventually after two months I replied to his happy new year message. And he was making all the effort as he had feelings he even told me he has feelings for me and I’m always on his mind and it was he that was wrong. He told me he wanted to marry me but at that time he had a new job in a different country so I said what about me .. he said he will look for a job in U.K. and then approach my father to ask my hand on marriage. He worked so hard to get this job and he did. When he told me he wants to marry me, I lost my self respect again and began to give and give as I really loved him and thought he won’t leave me now as he wants to marry me.

In October last year I then asked him when will this marriage happen and he said he will speak to my my dad but he doesn’t know when. I won’t ever leave you. I got my brother to call him and ask what’s on his mind and he told my brother that he feels I’m more like his sister. He also said to him he finds it difficult to commit because of his past experience in relationship. I asked him if he can tell me and he said he doesn’t want to share this.

I want him to feel what he felt for me on the two months I ignored him and cut him off completely. The feeling that made him say to me he missed me and wants marry me.

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