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Hi Spyce-
Thank you for checking in and seeing how I am coping. I am hurt and a tad angry, but I am trying not to take this personally. My fears and insecurities of course want me to go on a crazy war path. So I have been sitting here trying to figure out a game plan on how this conversation should go. Not sure if he is even doing the same thing. So I have been doing this in my spare time and focus on myself with my new job and pets. I currently have two injured puppies (two different incidents that just happened around the same time), so it has been a bit of hands full type circumstances.
The course from James has helped as well as from slade shaw. In the lack of better wording, I am trying to arm myself with enough information to go into this with a clear concept and plan on how to word things and give him what he needs at the same time expressing what I need. So in turn, maybe this extra time has really been a blessing so I can take the extra time not going in guns blazing and blowing things up.
My go to anger management tool has been going to the gym. So I have been taking a lot of frustration out on some weights these last few months.
Hi Spyce-
I was hoping to have an update for you by now. Unfortunately, we have not had that conversation. I reached out to him that night you responded back and took your advice and asked if we could talk. He actually agreed and apologized for not being good about my feelings and that he is still shut down and not sure what to do to get out of it. He was busy for close to two weeks after that agreement and we were supposed to talk last night, but he had an out of town emergency that was last minute and couldn’t do so. Since I use to work for the same company, I know that they were at a conference until this week and I noticed he just got a promotion. So I am guessing he had to run there and save the booth. So, long story short. He asked to reschedule to next week and looks like he fitting me in his work schedule so we can talk during the day.
I am not sure how to feel. I am hurt and angry. He keeps apologizing via text and offered up that he is not putting me off. So, we will see.
I hope I have a better update next week.
Zoë
Hi Spyce-
I really appreciate your advice. I am not sure what is going on. I am so confused with his behavior- it really does not make any sense. I sent him a “thinking of you, hope your doing well” text right after I got your advice. Unfortunately, there has been no response to it. I feel defeated and I think I am not going to send him the text asking for direction and clarity. At this point, I do not think he will respond back.
I do not get it. I know it has nothing to do with us or me. But, it feels very personal even if it is not meant to be. At this point, I think the best thing I can do is just stop sending texts and trying to reach out. To me, he is showing obvious signs of disinterest. It is awful, and I really do appreciate your advice.
Zoë
Hi Spyce –
This is fantastic! Thank you so much, I really appreciate for the insight and advice. It is hard to see outside of yourself in a situation and helpful talking to an objective third party.
Thank you again,
Zoë
Hi Spyce-
Thank you for your response and insight. It is sometimes hard to not think his silence is personal, for me when I go silent it is because I am completely done with that person. So it has been a struggle not falling into my own personal issues and mindset (or baggage if you will) and knowing that it really has nothing to do with me and not personal.
I think that is a brilliant and something that has crossed my mind. But I do not want to over pressure him either with too many text. How long do you recommend I should leave between text? A week, every few weeks?
I do not mind the wait- He is worth waiting for. I think I am just worried that will change his mind or something because he went dead silent and distant and there has been no direction. Is there a proper way to broach this or should someone just wait until he is ready to talk?
