Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hey Spyce,
I messaged back but maybe my phone died before it got sent.
Definitely, the heart and mind are a really interesting thing. I took some much needed R & R and took a quick vacation for a day or two. Such a relaxing time and much needed. Funny how even while on vacation, the guy we were speaking of unfortunately came across my mind but I tried to stay in the moment, which was good. I wait for the day when there will be no thoughts, memory or song that makes me think of that person…or not so much. That day cant come to soon! Its funny how we are very strong in some areas of our life.. but have one area where we really struggle.
My life and focus… mainly working on the normal short and long term personal, professional and internal life goals. One that is very important is further diving into self discovery and self love. One day at a time of course. Definitely want to work on my faith journey as well as it is really important to me.
Hi Spyce,
Thanks so much for your kind words and I will definitely keep you updated. You have made alot of great points and definitely gave me alot of great things to think about.
Jada
Hi Spyce,
Yes indeed! It is definitely hard to do but I am working to do that again this month. Definitely need to get back to what I was doing. Luckily I can be proud of myself to say that in the time since we split I have definitely focused on my life and achieved some really big goals. Thats why I was so upset with myself after seeing him, when I realized that I still had these feelings and would want nothing more than for him to step up and us to be together. Funny how that works sometimes. We can help who we love but now is definitely the time for me to step back and take some time for me.
I will definitely keep you updated and thank you for listening/listening and the kind words.
Hey Spyce,
I apologize for the delay. I worked doubles between two jobs the last few days.
I also did some thinking over the last few days too. I think the fact that this guy truly has a good heart, made me feel alive, enjoyed his family, friends got along with him/got along with his family and the great life that was possible for us is what has kept me connected every now and them…leaves the door open. You are right though, even though a lot of people liked us together/believed we would have a great life and we were great, potential vs reality is different now. I cant speak for what causes him to reach out though.
I have moments when I think about him randomly and random dreams that come sometimes. After hearing that something happened to him and how fast I researched and took a trip out to see him was surprising. Luckily, I would of course do this for any friend but the feelings that came with seeing him was a slap in the face. Sometimes though, maybe you have people that come in your life that you never forget but you move on with your life and the relationship or time spent will always stay with you and have a special place for them.
Yea definitely standing by someone is something that is important to me but yea definitely big differences and your are so RIGHT that the wanting, waiting and hoping is painful. Being honest with myself, I do wish we could be partners at some point but I have decided to work on letting go of my love for him romantically for now. An hopefully with time … now will turn into forever. Give myself time to relax and focus on things that I am working on in my life. If there is meant to be a mutual friendship then time will tell that, but otherwise I will work on moving on. He knows I care for him that if he is willing to step up, we can at least have a friendship.
Sorry forgot a question, any thoughts or advice you might have? Should I walk away and never make contact again but be willing to answer if they reach out.. or ?
Maybe it’s time to give up and no longer have hope even if they might care about me as actions and their ability to make a true healthy relationship of any kind possible ?
Hi Spyce!
Thank you so much for your kind words and honest advice.
My thoughts are that you are very right. I do try to express my love through actions in any and every way I can as words are exactly that without action. I believe that I have definitely backed off mostly, really since summer of 2020. Maybe me reaching out when I heard he was going through something, was a huge mistake. As just spending time recently made me realize that I still do really love him and wish things were different. As well as, wonder how I got myself in this
situation and why since seeing him again I have been chasing to try and get confirmation for him wanting me in his life and him being in mine. Regardless of that we both reach out every now and then, you are right I am chasing and I deserve more.Walking away or letting go has been such a struggle. Especially when logically you can try and tell yourself something, but your heart WILL NOT get on board for whatever reason. I have the blessing and curse of having a big heart and and trying to always see the best in people ive been told. Probably only leads to negative though in this situation.
You do shine a light on another BIG point, that if one individual is chasing the other, than it is only one sided, which is unhealth/disrespectful for the one chasing as we all deserve a relationship where interest, love and respect are mutual. I guess I fear walking away as I said I loved him and am there for him and meant it. I think it might have to do with that I was luckily enough to have a ex, who is my best friend only now, that stayed by my side when I had some areas to grow. I think the main difference though between the situations is that I was ready and willing to grow, plus was at a place where I could be a good friend and give back love, friendship and respect. So our ability to stay in each others lives and be friends, has worked.
Hopefully what I am saying makes sense and doesnt just sound like a crazy women talking. Just tried to explain, be 100% real and give some back story.
