[Lucia R]

thank you for your reply Heidi

Well, thank God, this guy and I are not as similar as he thinks. I have forgiven my ex husband long ago. I agree that he most probably has issues with forgiving and moving on. You know the funny thing? when it comes to my ex husband this guy is very protective of me, even if I don’t complain to him. He knows him well through work and is well aware of the fact my ex is not a nice person.

My kids are not an issue to this guy. He has always wanted kids, is godfather to many of his nephews and asks questions about mine every time.

To make sure I understand your idea: do you think that guys in general would avoid dating because I am a single mom?

[Lucia R]

Thanks Heidi.

Quite honestly, when I started this thread I had in mind the second approach you mentioned.

As to whether he has an idea of my wish to take things further.
There was a moment that I mentioned in my first post; I received a
job offer where I had to give an urgent reply and I asked him to meet for an afternoon coffee on a Saturday to discuss it and to have his advice (he has HR background). But he said that he was abroad that weekend. He did suggest speaking on the phone immediately to discuss it, but still..
Wasn’t that obvious that I wanted to take things further?

He got divorced because his wife was not happy. She came from a wealthy family, hadn’t still found her way in life and asked for a divorce. He said he is like me, after his failed marriage he lost trust in romantic relationships.
I also got divorced in 2014 (in my case it was also a harsh custody battle), dated for a couple of years and then as prince charming was nowhere to be found 🙂, I decided to become a single mom by choice. So I am now a proud mom of three; my youngest is 16 months. He does not have any kids.
What I am looking for at this stage is nice company, someone I would go out with say once or twice a week. I am wondering if he could be that guy, but I am having more and more doubts…

We usually talk about our families, what we did over the weekend, work gossip etc.

Now I am hesitating between the two approaches you mentioned, maybe with the first one I would have clarity more quickly? I am not a very patient person:)

thanks again!
Lucia

[Lucia R]

Hi Heidi and thank you for your reply!

Some more details. We meet for coffee every other week and it is always the same pattern: I am the one reaching out and asking on which days he is in the office (we work from home a lot); then he replies, gives me the days and asks when I am free for coffee. There is a bit of flirting. I even touch his arm lightly sometimes as I speak. He seems to like it, but does not reciprocate.

Yes, the divorce was messy, but this was back in 2008…
And yes, he is shy irrespective of the divorce. Still I don’t know: is there any chance of taking things further? I like his sense of humour and kindness, but is it reasonable to wait so long?

Many thanks again for your input!
Lucia

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