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Hi heidy
Thanks for your message I will start by answering your first question the reason why I feel jealous or insecure maybe does not have to do anything with him I feel like this because In the past I had relationships not long ones that actually involved a guy using me for sex/money and that have actually cheated or have a family that I found later on.
My insecurities in the last year have been intensified because of different factors I do not believe he is triggering them I believe being in a country by myself has been hard I believe that actually last year was a pretty tough year I had Corona And had to go through a loss all by myself I lost my grandfather and I could not go to my country to be with my family because of my job and Corona. When I lost my grandfather on October I really got sad and did not want to go out or know more people I isolated myself so I depended a lot on him, saying that I do realize I need to have a social life and friendships with women to be healthy and happy so I will start going out more.
Yesterday he came to see me and I expressed a lot of this feelings and thoughts to him and I believe him when he says he will try to make more time for me but I also know that depends a lot on me and not being needy and jealous so my question is how do I start changing this on myself not just for him but also for myself for my peace and my happiness I hope maybe I can rebuild something with him and actually making myself happy will make him a lot more interested.
Any ideas
ThanksWell at first he said ok babe but yesterday he called me and tryed to explain himself and told me that he will come supposedly today so that we can talk in person about what is going on I know that it sounds absurd and I have read and been told by some people that I am too intense and that couples do not have to see a lot of times a week I also know that he tryes to write at least everyday or every other day and that he usually comes once a week but I really wish I could see him twice a week even if it is just for 30 minutes I think that will make me feel more secure and our communication will be much better but I also know that his family and friends are important for him so I do not know if it is me and I should also try to lower my expectations or if I should talk to him again and tell him that I do need this for our relationship to go along better.
I also know that sometimes it is complicated because I also have a rotating job where one week I have to work morning and the other night and usually I work weekends all day as well right now I am not going to work Sundays anymore so I am hoping that we can get to an agreement where we can see each other one day during the week and Sunday for at least 30 minutes or so. I do not know if this will be a healthy thing to do and sayhi sorry fo taking time to talk aout this yes i understand i will maye have to lower my expectations but for now i decided to take a break i asked hi to please take a week and decide what things are his limits, what he likes and does not like aout me and also to think what is necessary to make this work. i understand that this can be also the opportunity for him to finish the relationship and do not contact me again, i am realistic about that and thats what i am actually waiting for, i know this will hurt but what can i do. it also hurts becuase when you are in a different country without your family in pandemic times it is really hard to have people around you and this person in my life became my best friend, the person i tell my problems to, and the eprso with whom i somtimes passed important dates like christmas or new years.
to answer to your questions the truth is that i have not had a lot of relatinships in the past, and if i had they where not long ones so i do not count them. and he has to take care of his whole family his parents his younger sister and his brothers this is because of afghanistans situation right now with war, so he has had to pay a lot of money to get his family visas and to get them to safety.
so right now i am really scared of losing him but that is what i think will happen in the end after this week.
thanks
