[Cheyenne F]

1. This is his 2nd Time pulling something like this the first time was early in the relationship. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to commit. He then decided he did we moved in now he’s saying he needs time to figure out if he feels if he can see our relationship as long term.

2. He wants kids and marriage. So I’m sure these have a role in his questioning he comes from a divorced home and broken family so I think there’s trauma involved making him unsure of himself or creating a fear that he will make the same mistakes his family did. He is really quiet and not good at expressing his own emotions I think there’s a block there because he think vulnerability is a weakness (my assumption).

3.he’s really great we have unbelievable trust and friendship we get along we grow together we share a lot of core values. There is a lot of love. There is some hot and cold from him but he I notice it happens when we progress deeper into the relationship I think he gets scared. But majority of the time it’s a very safe and stable relationship other then this particular problem.

4. I’m super good at communicating thanks to my upbringing however he was raised in a family where they never speak to each other about the things that happen like the divorce between his parents, personal struggles, trauma etc. so he attempts to communicate but it can come off as cold or it comes out all at once like diarrhea of the mouth.
5. Sex and intimacy is a hit or miss. Progress is being made over time and he’s getting better however like I previously said I think there is a defense mechanism that go up when it’s time to be vulnerable and sometimes it’s hard to get those walls to come down. He say sometimes it’s cause he’s scared that we’re gunna get to deep and he doesn’t wanna be responsible for hurting me ever. But when he says this it feels like he’s more so talking about himself and projecting it on to me. The main reason I’m struggling with this problem is what he is saying and his actions are completely different he says he’s unsure how he feels and whatnot but his actions show that he seems to be happy in this relationship and obviously wants to pursue it to some degree as the last two year have been overall amazing and filled with lots of love and growth for the both of us. I just really believe there’s this underlying fear that he is going to create the same household he grew up in and he is trying to control everything in his power to make sure he doesn’t end up divorced with kids that in the end would grow up in a broken home like he was.

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