[Linda T]

Hi Spyce,

Yes we had strong communication before. We would both tell each other what bothered us and what was good. I guess overtime we suddenly stopped and when something irritated us then we would bottle it up until it explodes. I agree that pent up emotions ended up creating negativity and disconnect over time. When we talked recently about why there’s a disconnect, he had this negative assumption of me that was not true. He was so in the negative that he thought a certain way about me that was no where near what I am. Is this also the reason why he doesn’t say I love you or reciprocate it in person recently? He doesn’t seem to have a problem saying it via texting. He’s currently on a business trip and I noticed it. We barely are starting to work things out but he’s now gone for a week.

I hope that is communicating more will help him feel more connected with me in our sex life. Do you have any tips of how to talk to him to get him to open up about it?

I agree with talking more will bring us closer together but how do I initiate it? Or what phrases or words can I say that will get him to be willing to talk without making it seem like an attack? I do notice that when we had communication our relationship was strong and I never worried about us. I also thought of writing a letter to him since it seems like he likes it about all the things I love about him, opening up about my feelings, and all the things that he’s done that I respect and appreciate. Basically speaking from the heart. I’ve never wrote him a letter before but I’m hoping that it will spark something in him.

Thank you,
Linda

[Linda T]

Hi Spyce,

We talked about it and found that the reason why everything is the way it is now is that we lacked communication. Our communication was strong in the beginning and then over time it got lost. Also, I think since we’ve been comfortable made things less exciting like it used to be.

I am satisfied when he’s really in the moment while we are having sex but when he’s not paying attention then I fake my orgasm. However, recently I’ve been satisfied with the sex we have.

Does having live cam video calls with a paid person also considered porn and the description you mentioned above. I think this has some affect on our intimacy. Since he doesn’t communicate to me, I don’t know what he likes or not and then he goes and do these video calls. I asked him if doing those calls satisfy him and he said not really. After that, he started to verbally tell me what he liked and not liked during sex and I could hear him groaning for the first time in a while. I also notice him staring at me out of no where or trying to see what I’m doing. I also noticed him slowly acting like his silly self that I fell in love with in the beginning. Does it take time for him to have less live cam porn calls?

Do you have an advice on what I can say/text him that will get him to chase me again or be obsessed and falling for me? We’ve been talking about our future of moving in and getting married/having kids and all of a sudden he seems kind of distant. I have been confused as to how he doesn’t say I love you or I love you too in person recently but he does via text.

Thank you,
Linda

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