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He is not normally hostile actually he is usually calm and quiet. The hostility has come since New Years day and the break up. He told his daughters he told me to leave but didn’t think I would. Told me I ended it by packing and leaving and has been unreasonable to talk to since. Is it pride? I would just like to have a normal conversation with him but can’t break through to him. Idk I guess I hate to see us end what was so amazing and wonderful for almost 2 years because we need help learning communication and execution. Just not sure what to do going forward.
This sheds so much light into the situation. I’ve been reading all the material this week and realize I definitely could execute my feelings and wants better way or more productive way. From this point, what is your opinion on the next step? He seems to have so much hostility I don’t know how to reach him.
PS where the heck is the 5 simple texts to send him lol. I have purchased several sets of materials and read them, well I have 25 pages on the last thing I purchased, and while It is filled with info I really want to know the texts!So I have become much more comfortable with speaking up rather than shutting down. We were both trying to be better communicators but somehow we were still missing the goal. Like we didn’t understand each others thoughts. Which became what he thinks is drama. I am not trying to start a fight but I have my own views and part of communicating I thought was to speak up and express you own feelings and thoughts. There has never been yelling or anything like that. Off the top of my head I can’t give an exact example. I can say something and mean it not in any vicious way but he will take it as negative. Just like the letter i sent him earlier this week which I talked about in original post. I said a lot of heartfelt things and he took every single thing as back handed comments. One thing being, “even though you normally wouldn’t have been my “type” there I was, head over heels fully in love and happier than ever”. He interpreted that as I normally am not attracted to people like him (looks) and that’s a backhanded comment. He should know by now I would never say anything mean and that I was referring to bad boys vs a good man. I am always reassuring and never say mean things to him or about him. EVER.
So my struggle with communication is that I shut down. I used to not say anything and keep everything to myself but still be mad or hurt. Like for days!! I have worked very hard to not do this anymore as we both are well aware we wanted to be together but the old habits ( because of our ex’s ) would kill our relationship. The only struggle between us is the lack of communication. Actually it’s more of mis-communication then lack of. I’m not sure why we have been miscommunication so much lately. The only thing I can think of is since late summer I haven’t been there as much as normal. Instead of 50-60% of my time being there I have been home and only go there 1 week a month if so. My daughter is a senior in high school and I want to be here for all of the last big events and keep my relationship up with her. He knows that is important and was supposed to come here more since I had been the only one traveling. It’s been easier for me to go there simply because I have 1 daughter and 1 dog, he has 4 daughters (every other week) and 2 then now 3 dogs. So the only thing I can put my finger on is that we are just not together as much. I take full responsibility that I need more work!! I have never said I am a good communicator.
