[Nathalie B]

Thanks! It’s hard to say. When we spend time together it doesn’t feel like we are just friends. It’s hard to explain. I just know he’s going through something but also know he feels better when we are together. There’s no intimacy but it also doesn’t feel much like a friendship.

We met online and he always came off ready for a relationship. He’s only been in long term relationships. He never seemed emotionally unavailable until his depression and anxiety hit. He was so eager to introduce me to his parents and his daughter. So we already met each other’s families. Right now he’s more confused on how to deal with the obsessive thinking that’s causing his anxiety and panic attacks. It’s all new to him.

He wanted to take the label off the relationship. I guess to not feel the guilt of not being the boyfriend he thinks I deserve or the older version of him that felt happier. But he doesn’t want to stop having a relationship with me and knowing about my day. He’s always been supportive of me.

But when we met, we both wanted to put an end to dating and become exclusive. And after a month he presented me with a heart necklace, asking to be his girlfriend.

I’m not saying I will put my life on hold for him but as he is going through this, I’ve been able to focus more on me and personal growth a bit more and still feel a bit at peace that he is still some what a part of my life. And as I’m focusing on myself I feel hope that when the time is right we can continue talking about our future plans and bringing back the intimacy.

I’m a 💯 sure he doesn’t fear commitment. He’s a relationship guy and has always been the provider in his relationships. But financially he is not happy even though he makes okay money but not what he use to make.

He confides in me and I’m the closest person he has away from the city he left 9 months ago. He did mention how I make him happy, how I am such a good girlfriend and good to his daughter but he can’t understand why he can’t get out of what he is feeling.

Its confusing at times but I try to keep my emotions in check and be understanding of the situation.

[Nathalie B]

Thank you! Hearing this really does put me at ease. We actually agreed to be friends and still spend quality time together. Just to take the pressure off him feeling guilt for not being the boyfriend he thinks I deserve. Yes, this process has been hard. I’ve had my ups and downs but at the same time I keep reminding my self that it’s not his responsibility to make me happy. We spent to much time together in the beginning and I fell off track with my business responsibilities. I’ve taken this time to be patient and just focus more on myself, staying busy while still offering support.

I guess a part of me is still hopeful. I’m also taking this as an opportunity to personally grow and work on controlling my emotions. We still maintain a good bond but all that lacks is the intimacy and affection.

I feel like this would be a time to get to know each other on a deeper level and maybe build a stronger bond.

He has never gone through this. A lot has to do with not being as present as he’d like to his 3 year old daughter due to moving to a different city to take on a new job, that doesn’t pay what he use to make. He also separated from a toxic relationship 1.5 years ago.

I’m honestly dreading having to put myself out there again and start dating new people. I haven’t been in a long term relationship since my being with my kids father (toxic abusive relationship). That was 16 years ago. Dating is hard and I’ve never met anyone like my guy that always made me feel respected and appreciated, never leaves me guessing and is honest even when I might not want to hear it. Finding another him feels like it will take a decade. He is a strong person, and I feel he will eventually get through it.

I’m just giving it time. Just don’t know how much time I should keep rolling with it. I just really want have a future with this man even if we have to take a step back by being friends.

He calls me everyday and weekends he isn’t visiting his daughter, we spend quality time by working out and taking a nice hike to be out in nature.

I also offered if he’d be open to going to church with me this Sunday. I’m not religious at all just try to take a more spiritual path but I feel it might be good for him.

Am I wrong for thinking that the steps I’m taking with him would lead to him realizing he really does want to build a future with me?

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