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Hi, Heidi.
Thanks for your great input again. I’ve given this much thought, and you’re right. He needs to figure this out on his own. Multiple friends have told him that he seems to be going through a crisis, and he completely blew them off, stating that he’s much better now after breaking up and is ready to meet new girls. I was his first relationship (but he wasn’t my first), so he wants to see what else there is out there and if there is someone better even though he acknowledges that he may never find anyone as amazing as me. I’ve realized that it’s not in my best interest to keep hoping. It won’t do me any good to wait for him to grow up. I’ve also started seeing a therapist to help navigate my emotions regarding this matter because it is hindering my ability to function properly daily, especially with school.
Thanks for your input, Heidi. What you said makes sense.
I understand that he’s feeling lost right now. And marriage is definitely a big topic. I never pressured him into it though, and we both discussed it with open minds. That being said, I just don’t know if I should stick around and wait for him to come back, or if I should just let go. He’s already deleted most of our pictures with the reason that he thought it would be too painful for both of us… Almost 4 years of our lives together gone like that. I would understand if he did that if we had a bad/toxic relationship. However, that’s not the case at all, and I have no idea how to make sense of it. Our time together was precious, but it personally feels like he’s trying to erase any traces of me.
What would be the best approach to help him understand how he’s feeling? He’s shut me out now and won’t really listen to anything I have to say. I’ve been giving him space and have had no contact unless necessary (e.g., running into each other at school). It seems like he’s suppressing his feelings/thoughts, and our friends say that he seems to be trying to convince himself that this was the right thing to do whenever he talks to them about it. Is there a way I can address this with him? Or is this one of those things where he has to come to the realization himself?
It’s really disheartening to know that he’s carrying on and acting like nothing happened while I feel like I’m the only one hurting. I’ve heard that men tend to not realize their regret after a break up until months later. Is this true?
