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Hi Spyce , ya , still chatting to me regularly, was onto me a lot when my mom was ill asking how she was . He often sends me photos and videos when he’s on little excursions with his son Connie , he loves finding fairy houses in the woods so they go to lots of different woods. sent me a video recently of them in the woods where he and I went on our date , Connie loves making videos and giving the commentary.. loves the attention! Anyway , he was saying that they had been looking for fairy houses and were sitting on a bench now that his daddy had been there with someone before. He’s young so that would’ve gone over his head but the point is Sean obviously was telling him about me .sent me a photo of them by a little stream where we’d stopped so I decided to throw the cat among the pigeons and said I remember that river well , I wanted to kiss you there but was too nervous ! I’m cringing here over how nervous I was ! Anyway , I knew he’d let that comment go and not respond to it , which is what he did , he just chatted away like I hadn’t said it ! I knew he’d do that but I said to myself no harm to get him thinking !!!
Hi Spyce , sorry for ghosting you ! My mom has been v unwell and I’ve been taken up with her , thank god she’s slowly starting to improve now . I’ve been eating healthy now for the past month and reducing my portions , my scales are broken but I def notice it in my clothes and it makes me feel better about myself . Just generally trying to be healthier.. healthy body , healthy mind . Drinking more water , going for walks , meditating . I’ll give myself another couple of weeks of that and then I’ll go off the fags again . Def feel better about myself
Hi Spyce , thanks for your kind words and all the fantastic advice . While who knows what the future could hold long term for us .. I’m certainly not thinking that far ahead, I do want a relationship with him and think I’ll continue to focus on working on myself while continuing to chat with Sean for a few months and then have our chat , see where things stand . Promise I won’t put all my eggs in his basket though !!
Ps , when I said I never had a problem with men before I met my ex , I don’t have a problem with them now either ! I work with a lot of men and get on great with them . If I had to go on another date with a different man in the morning, I would only be slightly nervous like a normal nervous. I think the whole problem for me with Sean was it had been so long in the making that I’d developed feelings and felt there was a lot riding on the impression I made , I totally freaked myself out !
Hi Spyce , thanks for all the feedback , you’ve given me great insight and I have to agree I think it’s fear that’s holding him back and stopping him from moving forward . He and his ex appeared to have a lot in common on the surface but it transpired they didn’t underneath and that probably drove the biggest wedge between them . I think now in hindsight that like myself in the beginning, he’s constantly watching out for signs that we wouldn’t click because he’s afraid of the same again. One thing I’ve noticed he’s brought up a lot lately is that I don’t get his sense of humour . Most the time we roar laughing at things together but some parts of our humour are different . I’ve a filthy sense of humour and I know he doesn’t always get it or sometimes it shocks him but I’m ok with that , he doesn’t have to appreciate all my jokes and I tone it down a bit for him. For the most part I really enjoy his humour but one aspect of it is he loves his corny jokes! I don’t do corny jokes but while I groan when he comes out with them , I enjoy him telling them to me because it endears him to me. When I groan or don’t get it and he has to explain it to me , he says you don’t get my humour at all and I know it bothers him , that he thinks maybe we’re not suited. I tell him I do get it and I do enjoy it , just not the corny ones and he says that’s all of them . I say no only some and he says most . I tell him about a childhood friend we had that we all loved who used to tell corny jokes too. We’d all groan but love him for it , I told him you’re the same. Reason I’m going into this detail is to explain why I think it’s afraid of not clicking rather than rejection which holds him back and it’s great to have that insight now , it’s a huge relief to have some sort of answer. That being said , as you said , i shouldn’t get too focused on the why but on giving us both time to get to the right place to have our discussion. So let me answer your questions about me. I’m really confident sometimes and totally lacking confidence other times . Most of this stems from being with my ex, a v toxic narcissistic psychopathic man .. my councillors diagnosis not mine but I agree with her. I was with him from a v young age and we were together for 15 years during which time he v subtly manipulated me and played mind games with me for years until he left ( with my oldest friend ) and became far more aggressive with the abuse . Nothing physical, all mental and emotional and eventually verbal . She joined forces with him when the affair started but I was unaware they were having an affair or were both playing mind games with me.You’re probably wondering how did I not realise but it was all v insidious and subtle and I suppose I trusted them. After he left 14yrs ago, they both did everything they possibly could to make my life hell , hid money/pensions , pulled a load of illegal stunts until they eventually got our home which is now in her name and my boys and I were left in rented accommodation. I’m not even going to go into the details of how he managed to get away with it because it’s too complicated and convoluted but bottom line was he completely played the system and after nearly ten yrs of court trying to get a settlement, I came away with nothing , he even fooled the courts. My counsellor and solicitor said they’d never come across someone like him before. He rarely contributed to maintaining the boys even though he had a far far far greater income than I and after years of bringing him to court about it, I stopped because what I was gaining on maintenance I was losing on court fees. I was left with nothing but debt and life was v tough for my boys and I , both financially and mentally as he played the mind games on them too. I took on a second job and my boys have always worked since they were old enough a d we got through it together but he never let me alone until the last couple of years, he tried v hard to destroy me, my councillor reckoned it was one of the worst cases she’d ever dealt with. Before I met my ex I never had a problem with men , I was v confident with men I had crushes on , had no problem chatting them up and generally when I was interested in a guy , I usually got him . I had a few short relationships before I met him, short because I was young and didn’t want to be tied down with anything serious . That was until I met him. I’d no interest in him but he chased me , was so charming and witty and won me over so much I fell hook line and sinker for who I thought he was , who he was presenting himself as. Sean is the first man I’ve been interested in since he left . I was so traumatised for so many yrs afterwards and every time id start doing better my ex would make sure to bring me back down . It wasn’t until 3 yrs ago that I felt over him and ready to meet someone. I put a lot of work into myself and my lack of confidence after all id endured and even though I knew id be forever scarred , I felt ready , id focused in my boys and reared them and they were now in a good place and doing well, while I still have debt , I’ve 2 good permanent jobs and I’m chipping away at the debt hoping to eventually be able to buy my own home. I’ve v good friends and am close to my family. The only area I knew I had left to work on was to lose the weight I’d piled on through comfort eating over the years and to get fitter but I knew that would come . I thought I was ready. So , what made me nervous for our date ? Well that’s why I was so traumatised after it and dwelt on it for weeks after, turns out I hadn’t worked on my self confidence when it comes to dating and relationships as I suppose I hadn’t been in one since and hadnt needed to so didn’t realise until that date exactly what a job my ex did on me ! Between him and the fact I’m peri menopausal which has kindly gifted me with anxiety at times, I completely overthought everything for a whole week beforehand and had worked myself into an awful stAte ! When I joined the dating site , I never expected to meet someone that I’d be serious about , it was just to dip my toes in the water, go on a few dates and enjoy myself . When it came to our date , I knew I’d feelings for him and I was terrified when we met that A I hadn’t been on a date in 30yrs and hadn’t kissed someone since my ex and could t remember how to kiss and what if it turned him off !B How the hell would we transition from a friendship to a relationship C what if I messed it up or he didn’t feel it, I was terrified it wouldn’t work out and ended up causing it not to work out as a result ! D I knew I wasn’t as fit as him and while I know he’d no issue with my weight , he’d already assured me of that , I was afrAid I would t be fit enough to keep up with him and he’d want someone who could seeing as he’s so active E every negative comment my ex ever made about my appearance or about me came into my head even though I knew none of them were true . The list goes on and on ! Basically, my history combined with my perimenopause combined with the length of time since I’d dated all conspired against me and I fecked it all up and kicked myself so hard afterwards even though I knew it was understandable. It frightened me though how vulnerable I still could be underneath . So now you have it , this is the last area that I need to work on before I have our heart to heart . It was good though to have it highlighted to me and I’ve spent the 6 weeks since putting a lot of work into it .. it’s even finally given me the kickstart to start eating better !
Hi Heidi,I’m sorry Ecatarina for piggy backing on your thread but was new on the forum at the time and thought that was how it was done ! I’ll leave your thread and wish you the best of luck. Heidi , I eventually worked out how to set up my own thread afterwards ! The title is when he tells you no romantic connection. I’ve been talking with another coach but if you’d like to read my thread and give me your input too I’d welcome it . If you’re too busy and it doesn’t suit, that’s ok too. Catherine
Hi Spyce , I think you’re spot in with what you’re saying . I’ve made a big effort to keep busy so I wouldnt b dwelling on it which means I haven’t been as available when he rings , sometimes he might have to call a few times before I hear the phone if I’m out and I cut the call short another time whereby he got a shock and said oh where r u going ? Told him I was going out for the evening with friends .. I was only sitting in front of the tv but he didn’t know that ! I wouldn’t do it too much to him as I don’t believe in playing games and neither does he so I know if I did it too often it’d drive a wedge between us but a little didn’t do any harm because he dropped everything to take my call the last night as I told you as he hadn’t been able to have a proper call with me in a few days . Interestingly , he made a liar out of me last night again as I’d told u that he doesn’t really ring late at night anymore and then rang me late when he came in for a big chat so he’s def pulling up his socks again in the last week ! I agree we need to talk about things , I tried when he told me he didn’t feel the romantic connection , told him you know I was nervous on the date and wasn’t myself ( I’d already told him so both at the start of the date and after and he’d seen it for himself anyway no doubt)but he only responded with I know . That was as far as I got.He was v uncomfortable and I knew by him that he wouldn’t get into it so I didn’t push it as I felt I needed to process it anyway first . Thing about him is as you mentioned about some men not having much experience of an intimate relationship with women , he’s one of them . While he’s confident in himself , he’s actually v shy with everyone , not just women, he’s told me so and I witnessed it for myself on the date when I was chatting to a family near us on the picnic. His ex was his first real girlfriend and from what he’s told me , he didn’t appear to have a really intimate relationship with her . When he tells me somethings , he tells me I’m the only one he’s ever told it to , that not even his ex knew , case in point being the fact that she was his first real girlfriend …she hadnt known that ! What I’m getting at is he doesn’t have much experience at intimate relationships and can be v naive about it sometimes and awkward and shy when discussing relationship things or giving/receiving a compliment. He doesn’t know how to be or how to respond. I’ve decided a while ago that yes I will talk about it with him to ask all the questions and say all the things you’ve mentioned plus to tell him that he couldnt have felt a connection if I was shutting him out because of my nervousness but that didn’t necessarily mean there would t be one , that he should’ve given it at least another go , that it might take another few dates for us both to relax and know for sure , that we’d waited so long for this and are so close we shouldn’t be just giving up straight away . But because of his being so awkward and uncomfortable about it , I want the dust to settle a little first , I know he needs to feel fully comfortable again with me before I go there . More importantly, I was v stressed for a good while after the date , before he ever mentioned being just friends . I shocked myself on the date with how nervous I’d been and hadn’t reAlised how lacking in confidence I was in that area , add to that how gutted I was that he did t want to go there , I’ve decided I want to do a little work on me for myself first before we have that conversation. I think we both have a little way to go before we can openly talk about it and maybe meet again, even if we only meet as friends.Am planning to continue a friendship with him for as long as I’m happy to while also working on myself and giving him a bit of space too to process it for himself . Am thinking a few more months at this stage won’t do either of us any harm , see where we’re at and then meet up again and have a talk about it
That’s a good question. There are subtle differences alright. I notice he doesn’t ring at night as much anymore, we used to stay up late at night chatting for ages after he came in from work . Now , while he used ring me during the sometimes , it’s nearly always during the day now , he rings me while he’s working so sometimes he’s distracted a d the calls are t half as long whereby I wonder are they duty calls . Every second call is a good one , these ones are even better than before the date in that he’s v relaxed in himself , in top form and were laughing and enjoying myself . Can’t help but wonder is he slightly relieved . Apparently he calls into his family for a chat on his way home from work now where before that would’ve been his time to call me . He still sends photos and videos of what’s going on in his life but he’s in none. I wonder is he slowly pulling away or just just easing up on the calls when we’re just friends . Other times then he makes a big effort . Texted him the last night that I would b around the following day for a chat as I was going away ( which I was) and if he was free that evening and wanted to chat then instead to give me a shout . He asked me to give him 5 mins and when he rang he told me he’d been visiting his sister and left when he got my message . Was a bit angry with him last week over it all and I know it was a bit petty but said I would t be too available for him . I didn’t answer his call so he rang me three times over the course of the afternoon and evening to get me . Also I’d been encouraging him to get a dog as he was thinking of it anyway but his sisters were discouraging it and he’d often take on board what they’d say ( I know this sounds like he’s weak but he’s actually not , he’s a mind of his own too believe me!). He’s always telling me he values my opinion. Not only did he decide to get the dog as I suggested but got a female as I’d suggested that too for various reasons. He’s also spent a lot of time thinking of ideas for a present from me to my son so he’s as thoughtful as ever but there def is a slight shift
Thanks , it’s great to get objective feedback. I agree with a lot of what you said. I think I def made him feel a bit insecure on the date and I also think he was expecting this mad spark which as we all know doesn’t always exist in a relationship especially at our age but he was naive enough to believe it does and it should because he’s basing it on his ex which was the only serious relationship he’d had so he thinks that’s the norm if the other person is the one.Both our marriages were toxic and both started out with fireworks so I’d agree with you on that too . I also agree that maybe he was never ready for a relationship ( even though he doesn’t realise it )and I always was aware that there was a possibility I could be the rebound girl. I don’t think he was basing it on a physical or sexual attraction though to be fair to him , being honest , I’d b better looking than him ! Also , he’s not that type , a real , genuine relationship like what you’re describing with a 65 yr old would be what he’d like . On his profile he stated he wanted a genuine relationship and would love to find the right person to speak d the rest of his life with . Looks really don’t matter to him but I’d say what he meant when he said no romantic connection was that he felt we didn’t click mentally and emotionally on the day . A friend of mine who’s a male gave me his take on it which was interesting because it was a mans take . He reckoned if he kissed me on the lips leaving and is still contacting me everyday then he’s def interested but balked for whatever reason . He advised me to give him space , not put him under pressure and let him do the contacting for the mo ( which I had been doing since anyway) , that he would b back .I’m all mixed up because his theory and your theory that he’s not ready are both what I’m thinking even though they’re conflicting theories . I’m happy to keep chatting for the mo, I thought about saying goodbye but realised I don’t want to lose the friendship ( reckon I’ve attachment issues!) . Decided I’ll keep up the friendship for the moment and if the contact starts upsetting me or if either of us meet someone serious , I’ll end it . Thanks for being so straight with me , would prefer not to have things sugar coated for me . How do I feel and how is it affecting me ? Absolutely gutted as I do have feelings for him , angry at him that I waited so long and he couldn’t give me a second chance. Angry that we’ve something so deep but yet it’s basically nothing. Angry that I wasted 3 yrs and nothing came of it when clearly were v good together. I know as you said a romance could affect the friendship but I just can’t get over that’s it , over before it even began . I keep turning it over and over in my mind and just can’t believe it . That being said , I’m working hard at distracting myself and getting on with things , trying to stop myself dwelling on it
Back again !! Would just like to add 2 more things to give you the full picture , when I say we chatted for a long time before we met , I mean 3 yrs !!! I know , I know , you’re thinking well if that’s not a sign he’s not ready and what the hell was she thinking waiting so long but neither of us realised at the outset it’d be so long and if it had been any other guy I’d have kicked him to the kerb a long time ago but we seemed to really click and he was always honest . I think he went on the dating site far too soon and wasn’t ready initially and told him so , his ex had only left 7 months before that and while he was over her ( she killed the love when she wouldn’t let him see his son ) hed just finished the custody battle and was still traumatised.He was honest from the outset and told me he didn’t want to meet til the divorce had gone through as he was old school and felt to date before he was divorced seemed like an affair . That might sound mad to some but I got it and I admired him for his integrity. I knew from my own experience that’d take about a yr and a half but felt ok about it , that it’d give us a chance to take our time and work on our trust issues and I didn’t wa t to be stuck in the middle of it. We were finally ready to meet and were planning our first date when covid struck and I nurse v vulnerable adults with special needs and serious medical conditions and was terrified of bringing it in to them as it’d kill some of them so I didn’t want to meet until we were both vaccinated. He agreed and said he was terrified to get it as if he got v sick , he’d no one to run his farm for him . So that was another yr and a half ! Maybe it suited him if as you said he didn’t want to date , who knows . The second thing is when he told me he was back up online ( as am I ), I suppose it’s me who’s heart isn’t in it , his words to me were I’m not taking it too seriously. Tbh, I’d say he’s not on it much as most his spare time is on the phone to me ! There now , you’ve the full story !
Hi Coach Spyce, thanks for getting back to me . You asked what Sean’s background was , he’s divorced like myself and like you guessed, he got badly burned by his ex as did I and both of us would be wary of being burned again, I’m divorced a long time but yes, it’s more recent for him , only 4 years so he’d be more wary than I . We had that discussion fairly early on and were v open a d honest with each other as always . Both of us agreed that other than the case of either of us Losing interest before the other which you can’t do anything about , that’s just life , we would never do anything to hurt one another and it’s often come up in conversation whereby we’d reassure one another again and we always tell each other that we’ll always have one another’s backs , he even said it when he told me he didn’t feel a romantic connection, said I always promised I wouldnt hurt you which is why I’m telling you before it goes any further , I was so afraid of telling you because the last thing I’d want is to hurt you and you know I’ll always have your back as I know you’ll have mine .( we’ve both been v supportive to one another when either of us have had various problems , listened to one another, advised each other and come up with solutions for one another. Obviously it’s not always that intense and we have great laughs together too and love sharing our news)Yes, he is terrified of getting hurt again, he met his ex late in life and it was a bit of a whirlwind romance , they were engaged in less than a year and married soon after . Immediately after marrying she started saying maybe they married too soon but he’d his head in the sand and didn’t realise how serious she was . They had a lovely boy but when he was only 6 months old , she walked out on new yrs day and didn’t want to work on it with him or go for counselling with him despite numerous efforts on his behalf . His family all live near him and they’re v close , her reason for leaving was she didn’t like them but when he offered to move she still didn’t want him.( it transpires that I have 3 friends who would know his family and her ex, and they have all said he has a lovely family.)He’s dealt with all of that in counselling himself and is ok with it but what traumatised him the most and I’d imagine will always be an issue for him is she denied him access to his 6 month old baby whom he adored, her reason being she did not want them near her child, he even agreed to that but no so he eventually had to go through the courts which took another 6 months before he got to have him again . That nearly killed him as he’s a fa tastic dad and adores his son , he’s made a lot of sacrifices for his son . He has a farm which has been in his family for generations and she tried to take that too (which put the fear of god in him)despite the fact that even though her income would be greater than his , from day one after she left , he was always v decent with money as he wanted to look out for his son and he’d also offered to buy her a house so they’d have a roof over their heads . It’s all sorted now for the past 2 years and he doesn’t hold feelings for his ex anymore but you can understand why he would be afraid of being hurt again when he nearly lost the two most important things to him.He’s not afraid of me per se , I know this may sound silly when we’ve only met once but we’ve formed a really close bond through all our phone calls and I know he trusts me as I do him , he also knows a lot about me and knows I would never do anything like that to anyone but he is afraid of ever being put in that position again, as would I be after suffering years of mental and emotional abuse with my ex so both of us would be extremely cautious and took a long time to get to know each other really well before we moved to the next step and went on the date . As I said earlier , he was burned far more recently than I and I have always been mindful of that , knowing he would need to take things more slowly than I . You also asked if we’d seen much of each other before we met , yes we had so it wasn’t a lack of attraction on the date . We’re regularly sending photos and videos of things we’re doing and funny ones of ourselves looking awful.. him after having a go at cutting his own hair during lockdown and botching it ! Looking like shite after a hard days work and literally covered in shite! Me painting the ceiling and dropping the paint on my head, me dying my hair and it’s sticking out in all directions asking him seeing As it was Halloween night should I answer the door to the trick or treaters like that and give them the fright of their life ! He loved that photo as he reckoned it said a lot about me in a good way that I would send it to him . He’s seen me loads of times without make up.Anyway , he’s not the shallow type ,he’s not really into appearance, tbh I don’t even think he’d notice if I was looking bad !!im a big girl and I told him it was an issue with my ex, as was the fact I smoke 5-6 cigarettes a day , asked him if that’d be an issue for him because if it was tough luck . He got a great laugh out of it , told me he used to smoke so not an issue and my weight was def not an issue as it was my personality which he was interested in. I’ve always been honest about my faults and shortcomings (as has he) and his response is always sure that just shows your human . He has told me though that the only issue he has is that he loves being a dad and would love to have more children and to give his boy a brother or sister . (He’s 47 and I’m 50 .He really feels it that his child is an only child. sometimes he says he knows he probably won’t be having anymore )He said he noticed in my profile I didn’t want anymore children to which I told him it wasn’t a case of didn’t want anymore but figured I prob couldn’t have anymore at my age . Have often told him how I wanted a big family just like him and wasn’t done having kids when my husband left and always felt robbed . I think he’s a smashing dad and I told him for what it was worth , if I had been able to have more kids , I would’ve wanted them with him and that I wished my boys had had a dad like him to which he responded that having more kids wasn’t necessarily a deal breaker , that he needed to get his head around it but that for what it was worth , he felt the same about having kids with me , he’s always telling me he thinks I’m an amazing mom . I told him to work it out in his head but not to let things go too far before he made his decision on that Long winded way of saying that’s def an issue that he needs to get his head around I’d say but also an example of how we’ve discussed mostly everything with regard to a possibility of a future . We’re not daft though , we both agreed not to go jumping ahead of ourselves and both always acknowledged that we’d decide on whether or not to have a relationship after we’d met . As regards has he been romantic towards me, we’re both older and mature I suppose , plus he’s v steady so ya we would’ve flirted but there wouldn’t b any mushy carry on with him , that’s not his style but he shows it through his actions , like when we met he brought me lillies from his garden beacause he knew I liked them or when I was 50 he posted a copy of a play to me from our fav playwright that we’d been talking about a few months before and that I had said I’d never read . He wouldn’t compliment me often but when he does it’s always v sincere . Neither of us have told our families about each other , we said we’d wait til we’d met and see how things worked out , I have a handful of v close friends who have been with me through thick and thin and know everything about me so I’ve told them and he knows that , interestingly though he hasn’t told any of his friends , all of whom he’s told me all about. In fact he tells me everything, things he’s never told his family or his ex apparently. As I said before though , I felt the date , while we’d both put a lot of thought and effort into it and was a lovely date , was a bit of a disaster from the point of view I was so so nervous and told him so , told him I hadn’t slept in nights and had been running to the loo all morning to which he laughed and said he wasn’t nervous at all .. Steve the cool clean hero ! ( my friends killed me for giving him too much info but we’re always straight up) Anyway , it started with a walk in a beautiful forest as we both love that kind of thing but I had told him to pick an easy walk as i wouldn’t b anything as fit as him but I don’t think he realised how unfit I am or how fit he is so there were some steep hills that I seriously struggled with and was puffing and panting and kept having to stop to catch my breath , couldn’t even talk at times I was so out of breAth , I was mortified and he was so kind and patient , offering to carry my jacket , finding places for us to sit down til I caught my breath , telling me we’d stop as often as I needed… Jesus I was mortified 🙈 I was really cross too at myself and told him how I’d thought after 2 months off the cigarettes I’d thought I’d b better and he was saying give it a chance , sure it’d take a good few months to get your full lung capacity back . I’m telling you about this because I feel maybe he felt he’d like a partner who would be fit enough to keep up with him or maybe my unfitness turned him off but when we went for a sight seeing drive after , he showed me another lovely forest and said we’ll go there next time to which I asked him if he seriously wanted to do that again with me after the way I puffed and panted , he replied yes. Anyway , needless to say my nerves were worse after the walk ! So I was v awkward , v stilted at times , v serious .. there’s was v little laughter in comparison to our usual chats . I wasn’t nervous of him , I was nervous it wouldn’t work out as I realised I’d feelings for him . I was also terrified of kissing him , it’d been so long I was afraid I’d forgotten!! I was v self conscious. Anyway , I did eventually calm down and we were v relaxed with each other for a while ,went for a picnic overlooking the beach but I started getting all nervous again thinking Jesus he’ll look to kiss me goodbye soon and I’m not kissing him here in front of all these people , especially at my age !! Had a bit of verbal diarrhoea then ! Anyway, it came to say goodbye ( we’d hugged each other when we met and given each other a kiss on the cheek and were both comfortable with that so I decided to do the same saying goodbye but he did avert his face and it ended up being a peck on the lips .. I took off like a bat out of hell leaving him standing there looking lost !! I feel I was so nervous I never left him in and he couldn’t have felt a connection. He texted me before I got home saying he really enjoyed the day and what charming company I was to which I apologised for taking off on him and explained why , he laughed. He continued to ring me as normal but there was no mention of a second date and I’d to bring it up. Anyway , that’s the story , I’m sorry it’s so long winded but I wanted to give you the full picture. He’s still ringing me everyday as friends , even went to great effort to come up with ideas ( without being asked)for a gift from me to my son for his graduation since he told me he just wants to be friends so I don’t know , v mixed signals . I’ve a few thoughts on it but I want to see what you think?
Hi , Ive gotten mixed signals too from a guy I was chatting to online for ages and got on great with. Went on a date where I was really nervous and not myself as a result, think I shut him out . He did refer to our next date in the middle of the first though. I took off in a hurry at the end because I got nervous about kissing him. Rang me afterwards telling me how great it all was and I explained why I took off to which he laughed . Continued ringing me for an hr everyday afterwards as usual but eventually told me he didn’t feel a romantic connection but that he really liked me as a friend and would always be there for me. Thought that he was letting me down nicely but he’s still ringing me for an hour everyday and texting me and it’s a month later. What’s going on?
