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Ok, thanks both of you.
I did have a good talk with him last night and he told me the move was temporary. He also told me he doesn’t have any plans for a family, he hasn’t even thought about it- it clearly came as a shock when I brought the subject up. This is clearly me projecting because I’ve lost so many men of around his age when they decided to have kids with other people.
With regards to ‘spurning my advances’ I am always very professional in the workplace, I’m stud trained and had to liaise with vets as part of my job. I never mix business with pleasure. The advances came from HIM initially, not me. I just felt he was lonley during the pandemic and not getting on with the girlfriend.I also feel there’s a world of difference between free human meds which are paid for by insurance or NHS and drugs which are paid for by the client. Also, he’d randomly do me free stuff I hadn’t asked for on days I wasn’t there and hadn’t even asked for them. I know he was thinking about me the way I was thinking about him. There is too much proof of that, looks, gestures. I completely understand what you’re saying about me making too much of it but I feel I could DEFINITELY have made something wonderful out of it if I’d just known what to do. I sabotaged myself and I made things much too difficult for him.
You’re spot on with me having issues- this is a whole horrible emotional mess going back to me being hurt by my family and having abusive relationships. The crazy thing is that I actually have men running up to me to introduce themselves but I don’t want them. I do enjoy some very good friendships with single men which have happened when I’m out socialising, rather than in the workplace where I need to focus on work. I find that a lot easier but I don’t want to take it further. I’ve been working on my own trauma for a very long time and I will book a deep trauma treatment with a colleague today. My dad died last year and it was a relief, I’d like to clear out the trauma from that relationship as it’s gone past 6 months now.
I’m very clear on what’s going on, I am just very, very hurt. I do not like spending my entire life working thorugh things in therapy and losing every man I love to somebody who has never been abused or hurt because they’re easier. I will be taking some time to look after myself, he says he’s not going anywhere. If it can work out, it will- I’ll keep working on the course- if it can’t then I will be healing myself and when I’m ready, I’m ready.
OMG, things got even worse- he’s clearly decided to distance himself- booked me out with other vets today. I used your methods and scored a phone call. Impressive. Will use some more later and be prepared for a bit of a long haul out of this mess.
Hello, thank you for the kind reply. Reading through the coursework I can see how I pushed him away and did the complete opposite of what I was supposed to do and the worst part is that everything I’m learing is stuff I WANTED to say. It fits perfectly. He saved my chinchilla’s life and I’m highly intuitive with very advanced ESP- my speciality is animal communication which is largely metacommunication and ESP. The vet wasn’t seeing his girlfriend and I actually thought they’d split up but he was having a very heavy time with exams, shared accomodation which prohibited multiple support bubbles and horrible working conditions. I had no support bubble for some time due to family illness.
The short answer is that is was a steamy attraction which was never acted upon other than outrageous flirting and gifts. He would give me free meds for my pets and I’d send him chocolates and silly messages. The problem was I turned the whole thing into a huge joke because I had an audience all the time.
I’m actually going to say what I always wanted to say to him- I have an appointment later- because what I’ve written cannot hurt in any way. The worst that will happen is I have a more devoted vet.
Unfortunately I can’t eat or sleep and I was ill when I dropped my pet in this morning for her ultrasound. At least I check the ‘damsel in distress’ box instead of anesthatising myself and then joking with him when he’s more upset than I am because I’ve removed my emotions so effectively it’s a wonder I haven’t been given an oscar.
And yes- I’m a high achiever, I just helped my boss to close a deal with a billionaire. Money is easy now- our LOA stuff is way ahead of anything else. I was abused as a kid and I still have a lot of work to do on my neuroplasticity in relationships.
Thank you, I’m very grateful for the response.
