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Hi Heidi
Yes it does make sense to me, I went ahead and stopped initiating contact like you said… After 4 days he finally messaged me I was holding back not sending too much not being too nice to him. Then I asked him to visit me because I needed his help to fix my gate and I was starting to forget what he looks like ha ha. He visited me Saturday arrived here at 8 at night we spent time watching movies talking and being intimate. He slept over the next morning we were more comfortable with each other we spent more time talking and just cuddling and being intimate again. Then I made him breakfast while he went to repair my gate. Before leaving to go home he washed changed clothes said he would probably need to go to site to assist with a breakdown. Then he kissed me passionately like he does every time while lingering and staring straight in my eyes,then he left. He notified me that he arrived home safely. Messaged a bit then later he said good night. We chatted a little this morning I thanked him for fixing my gate again. Told him I think of him every time I open and close the gate now ha ha. All seems to be going well and is back on track. My question is how do I keep the flame alive while he is away from me and how do I secure a future with him. I really want to be with him but I do understand that I need to get to know him better. I want to go visit him next but I am not sure how to bring it up and I am hoping he trusts me enough now to let me into his world and into his life. My feelings for him are deep. I am trying to ground myself though so I don’t do anything stupid and scare him away. I try to distract myself by doing other things that make me happy. And still when I do message him it’s not intense I try to gently let him know how I feel. Making little flirty jokes complimenting him and sending him funny memes that I come across from time to time. Should I still be letting him initiate the contact every time and if I do that. What happens if he doesn’t send me anything should I just move on or call him out. When I message him he always answers me if I have asked him something but he does not always respond when it is just something funny or a statement. I don’t want to lose him. Please tell me how to get by between oppertunties for seeing him.
Hi Spycee
OK well 1st of all I have seen him in person 3 times. 1st time was just a meeting I didn’t think much of him at first all though he opened the door for me and we went for coffee. We chatted for a few hours and I realised we have a lot of the same interests. We chatted on WhatsApp every day I asked him all my questions and he ticked 9 out of 10 boxes then I invited him over to watch movies we spent the whole day together just chatted and kissed and watched movies. Sparks started flying when he kissed me everything changed. He had me hooked, it was the most intense magical feeling and I have never felt like that before. He would even stare into my eyes for what seemed like hours like our souls were connecting without even saying a word. This has never happened to me ever. Then we continued to stay in contact for the next week on WhatsApp I did not tell him how I felt but it was pretty clear we had a deeper connection. I invited him over for lunch the 3rd time, he slept over and that is when things got real serious, I instantly fell in love because of the way he made me feel the way our souls connected. I don’t normally look into a man’s eyes but with him I made a point of doing that. It is hard to explain but it was truly magical like next level intense. I couldn’t help it. Then we chatted again on WhatsApp when he went home that’s when he started feeling sick and out of sorts. He didn’t want to come visit as he was worried about making me sick and hence he didn’t want me visiting him for the same reason because he was sick for so long and obviously tired we weren’t chatting much anymore so I started getting scared and having doubts. That’s when I told him how I felt and I wanted to know where we stand, he kept putting off answering me. Then I backed off giving him space and not messaging unless I had something important to say. He would still send me goodnight kissy faces and that was it. With all the chatting I learnt a lot about him I know where he works and what he does for a living I know his hobbies and what he does to relax. He has two boys of which one has autism and he has been separated from his wife for about 18 months in the process of getting a divorce. He is an electrical engineer works at the mine. I have asked him to help me with a few electrical issues of mine which he says he will sort out as soon as he is 100 percent again. So corona being sick at 48 it can take anything from 3 to 5 weeks before you feel fine again to work. I know it takes a huge toll on the body. I am just greatful he survived it and yes maybe it is just that which is holding him back. Only time will tell. I keep hearing things on this site that woman said specific things to their men and they have never been happier, but I still have not found what exactly I can say to my man so he understands and connects with me on a deeper level? I want to persue this even if it means we need to be friends for a while it’s fine because no other man has ever made me feel the way he does. He can do no wrong in my eyes. If space is what he needs then so be it I will be his friend until he realizes what he can have with me. I don’t care how long it takes.
Hi Heidi
Thanks for that thing is I did give him space and all he ever did was say good night and chat tomorrow. Whenever I initiate contact he always responds but sometimes takes a while when he is busy at work.
He is 48 I am 41. When I meet a guy who pushes all the right buttons with me and the chemistry is right that’s when I fall real hard and I try not to because most guys I tend to not like that much are always head over heals for me and I wish I had the strength and confidence to actually do that with a guy I do like. I don’t know I am a hopeless case people mostly tell me to just be myself and I am and I am honest and don’t like playing games I just want to be real and that is what most guys like about me is my honesty and my realness. I am the kind of person that has ex boyfriends always wanting me back because they realised that I was unique and special but as you guessed I don’t like to go back either. I have been married twice both were pretty messy. I just want to get it right this time. On one note I have managed to keep my cool with this guy I have not gotten upset and crazy with him I put myself out there he didn’t respond well so I backed off. We are still chatting daily but more like friends and a little flirting from both sides and kissy faces when we say goodnight or goodbye. I think my main priority is to get a visit to him and if it really doesn’t happen well then I know he already has someone. Is there anything else I can do?
Actually known him since 1st July 2021
Plans were kind of in motion before I met him.
I try to initiate contact a few times a day where as he would maybe initiate contact every second or third day.
I can go visit him yes but so far it hasn’t been arranged. He doesn’t answer me when I bring it up or he makes an excuse.
He had corona but is not contagious anymore he is back at work now.
He says he is not active on the dating app anymore.
I did I asked him where we stand and told him I am quite serious about him and need to know if he feels the same way about me yet he never answered me but kept saying he would answer me later.Thanks
Chantelle
