[Hannah]

Thank you so much for your insightful response! That was very helpful and answered a lot of questions in my head.
Everything you said makes sense and I will try my best to not text him within this month!

Thank you so much again and please wish me luck 🙂

[Hannah]

Hi Heidi,

Thank you so much for your response!

The reason I said that I wasn’t being myself is because this was not how I used to behave with my previous partners. Actually when I started dating my ex I told him that I find it annoying when someone constantly asks me for reassurance and he told me that “reassurance comes naturally when you’re when someone you truly love”.

I think my insecurities started when I realized that I loved him more than I ever loved my previous partners. I started to think that I am treating him the same way my previous partners treated me and I found them to be annoying. I started thinking that he might be annoyed by my behaviors just like how I was annoyed by my ex partners’ behaviors.

Also, this started only when we started to spend less time with each other and I realized that he started to prefer spending his free time watching tv or with his friends more than he talked to me. After the break up I realized that he needed his space to relax especially that he was so busy and stressed about his college. I pushed him away by being needy and asking him to spend more time with me. I thought that I was not a priority to him but he told me when we broke up that I was always one of his priorities and he was always thinking about me. He said that he felt bad because he couldn’t find time to talk to me as often as we used to.

The reason I feel that we could have a second chance is that I feel like I am able to avoid all my mistakes and give him his space. Also, I always believed that each one in the relationship must have their own space and that it is annoying to ask for spending time together constantly. I know I was asking for that just because I was feeling stressed.

He reached out to me after the break up to say happy birthday.

I reached out to him after a few weeks to congratulate him on his graduation and we had a small talk (I felt like he is responding with distance). And I just sent him a couple days ago that I miss him and he replied so friendly not as a lover. I asked him if he changed his mind about our situation and he said that he doesn’t think that he is the the one for me. We continued our chat with some jokes and agreed to stay friends.

I am fighting with myself not to text him again even as a friend because I want him to reach to me first. I sometimes feel like he will never reach out to talk to me even as a friend and this thought really annoys me. We had an amazing relationship and we were friends and lovers and we didn’t end in a bad way. I don’t understand what makes him treat me with this distance that it makes me feel like we are two strangers. It just doesn’t make sense to me because the day we broke up he said that he never thought of breaking up with me until the last moment. Doesn’t this mean that he still have feelings for me and always did? But he decided to break out because he felt that our relationship became unhealthy because of our constant arguing?

[Author]

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