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Hello all
I am in a very weird situation.
I have started dating a man from work after him persuading me for a while. We got into a relationship and he was everything I ever wanted in a man. He was extremely loving, making plans in advance and we started planning future together. We had 0 problems at least to my knowledge.
I knew from the start he has a daughter from his previous 8 year relationship and the daughter is severely disabled and probably won’t make it to her teens. I was always very supportive and made sure he is a father 1st. His daughter and his ex live in a different city about 2.5h drive away and he would go and see his daughter every 2-3 weeks and stayed in his ex’s house for that 2 or 3 days. I’ve never had any reason to doubt him. He would constantly message me and he had my full trust. Maybe silly of me but he never gave me a reason to have any doubts.
The week before we broke up he was extra loving and saying how I am God’s gift and how he wants to spend time with me. We would be together 24/7. However one day he went to see his daughter and in the evening I’ve had a terrible feeling and actually went to check his ex’s Facebook account and noticed she has changed her background picture to them two.
I’ve called him telling him what I saw and that it made me very upset. He said he wanted to talk to me about that the next day and it is better this way for his daughter. I felt betrayed and hanged up the phone. 3 days later when we went back to work we ignored each other However I reached out as I needed an explanation to what has happened. We had a long conversation where we both cried a lot and he told me he loves me and is in love with me and he made a mistake by going back to his ex and destroyed something so amazing that we’ve had but said he feels so guilty for being a bad father and partner to his ex for previously cheating on her (not with me!) And he wasn’t present when his daughter was little. Him and his ex broke up about 5 times before that and everytime that would happen she didn’t allow him to see his daughter, her family publicly bashing him on social media etc. He has problems with mental health which I helped him to get help and it got us even closer. He described his ex as toxic and manipulative but said she is mother of his child and at one point even said he wishes it was me he would meet all those years ago. I can see he in pain and we are still extremely close due to his problems and mine as well. We are genuinely best friends and see each other at work and even on our days off. Not a day goes bye where we wouldn’t speak and there have been occasions where we were intimate as well. I do feel terrible but I love him more than I ever thought I am capable off. We were planning to move on together, planning to have a baby in the next year even after what has happened as he said he will speak to her as I am it for him.
That has never happened. Now, either he is an extremely good actor or he lacks a backbone to stand up to his ex but something tells me if he wanted to be with me and his feelings were genuine he would be with me. Especially after I’ve told him I will support him if it comes to the point he would need to go to court in order to see his child and even moving closer to her so he can see her more often.
He said he knows it will all blow in his face but he needs his ex to see they can’t be together and it can’t be only his decision as he would feel guilty because of his daughter. They’ve never lived together in 8 years and they do not plan to do this in the future.
What do you guys think? If this was someone I wouldn’t see on a daily basis I would make sure we wouldn’t have any contacts but our job makes it impossible.Let me know what you think
Thanks in advance
