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It’s funny you mention body image, because yeah, I really struggle with that. I mean I know I’m not ugly, but I’m constantly worrying about my size and everything. It comes and goes. It’s just past trauma and abuse coming to light.
I love dancing and singing but rarely do it in front of people. I have a hard time talking to people and being in crowds because of social anxiety and am really quiet. Until you get to know me. Then you can’t get me to shut up.
I never thought about flirting that way. But yeah, I’ve seen those scenes and read plenty of books like that. It’s cringe worthy but also, pretty funny. And you’re right the right guy won’t mind.
Carson and I were communicating the other day and he was telling me how in was family, and I sent a smiling emoji and here is how the rest of the conversation went
C-You seem disappointed
M-What do you mean?
M- I mean, yeah I still harbor a crush for you that’s going on what four years now?🤦 I can’t believe I just said that. But I’ve long suspected that you see me more like a crazy little sister than anything else. And that’s okay.
C- I don’t mind you saying you like me.
M-? Why?
C- I don’t know. I just still have a lot to work on on myself.
M-we all have stuff to work in Cars. That’s a strength, not a weakness.
C- I know. I just can’t give you a straight answer right now.
M- okay.I really wanted to push the issue, but didn’t.
I just don’t know what to think. Is he just trying not to hurt my feelings??
Thanks for your response. Yes I have received therapy, and am still in therapy. And I understand what you are saying. I’m sure that definitely applies in this situation.
Yeah flirting is hard for me. Mostly just because I never know what to say or how to say it, and I don’t want to seem like stupid or anything especially in front of a guy I am trying to impress. What are some tips to get me started?
I don’t really know how to flirt. I have to look up funny flirty texts to send to a guy on the internet… I was very sheltered growing up.
I don’t know if it’s that. Because he had a girlfriend and he told me that he was going to propose to her, but he day he was going to, she broke up with him.
So I really should just take the hint and let go. I just… Don’t know how. It takes me a long time to trust someone due to childhood trauma. But no matter what happens, I can talk to him. He’s helped me through medical emergencies, staying right beside my side through the entire thing, come to my rescue many times.
Its possible that since he and my brother are so close he sees me more like a sister. I guess that would make sense.
Its also that I just always seem to attract the wrong people. I’ve been proposed to 2 times within the last 8 months. By guys who had known me for all of 2 days. Or the kind who just… Don’t have good moral standards. All the guys that actually are kind, and have the same standards, look past me. And I don’t know why. I mean I’m shy, but I’m trying to meet people and get out there. It could me my medical issues. I just am really just wondering if there is even anyone out there who actually would want me for who I am. And stay loyal.
There’s been a lot of trauma in my life, and so I’ve kind of lost a lot of faith in the world and just kind of believe everyone is evil because it’s very rare that I see any kindness. I know that sounds really dramatic. Carson has been one of the only guys I felt like was actually by my side, that has a good heart, and cares about me.
Thanks for responding! Yes, you have it all correct. The hard thing is he knows I like him (my brother told him) and yet it’s hard to know his feelings about me.
After the date in 10th grade, he said he was going to take me to prom, but because he was saving up for an LDS mission, he didn’t have enough to pay for it and I didn’t either. My twin brother really wanted us to go and offered to pay for it,but Carson (the boy) said he didn’t want to take my brothers money. So we didn’t go.
After eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and crying I got over it and decided that I would take him out on a date. So I got it planned out with one of my best friends, but the day came and he hasn’t given me a definite answer. He said he’d let me know for sure that day. I called him over and over and he didn’t pick up. His mom is very… Controlling and so I guess after I called the house and got no answer she told Carson the date was cancelled. And he didn’t have his phone that day, because it wasn’t working.
I confronted him a week later on the last day of school (at this point I had no idea what had happened) and he explained it to me. I told him (exact words) “it’s just hard Carson, because you know I like you and that I’ve liked you since 9th grade. And yet I don’t know if you like me or…not”
His response was ” no no it’s not that I don’t like you it’s just hard to do this right now when I am going on a mission…but when I come back…we’ll see.”I went home squealing and my little sister wanted to help me plan the wedding.
He came home from his mission because of covid and isn’t going back out. We didn’t talk for awhile because stuff was really crazy with me but my best friend told me he was always asking her how I was doing and if I was okay.
I don’t know about flirty. I don’t really understand flirting very well. When I was with my brother and we were videoing Carson, I stole my brothers hat and sweatshirt and put it on and Carson was like just between you and me it looks way better on you.
He jokes a lot, but it is hard to tell if he’s flirting.
Gabe (my twin brother) definitely knows my thoughts on this situation. But whenever I’ve asked if he knows about what Carson is feeling he just smiles and gets very secretive. Gabe just wants us both to be happy and so he doesn’t really mind either way. They’re like inseparable.
My problem is is even when I’m out on dates with other guys even though I try to focus on them, my mind automatically starts comparing hem to Carson. In fact Carson helped me decide to break up with someone last week!! Because the guy was treating me horribly. And no matter what I do I can’t seem to get over or past him.
