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I will definitely learn from this. I think many people don’t even realize this and they lose each other while their children grow up. Actually I know a lot of people right now who are breaking up. A lot of my parent’s friends, and also parents of my friends. For most of them, the situations are quite similar, they were together for a long time, now the children are adults or have moved out and they broke up.
So I started creating my non-negotiables list. It was quite hard in the beginning, because as I already know Tim, I didn’t want to make the list “based” on him. Like I kept thinking of him and the things he does, rather than thinking from my point of view and then seeing whether he actually fulfills those things. So I tried thinking of past situations, where it didn’t work out with a guy and what the reasons were for me. Usually it was a clear reason, or even a few, but I hadn’t given it that much thought at that time. Now that I’m thinking of it, I guess I kind of already had a non-negotiables list in my head all the time. Because I don’t usually get involved with a guy very fast. And also then I’m quite picky.
So far Tim would fulfill everything on my list. I guess that’s also why I didn’t or don’t want to just let him go and why I’m willing to wait for him and be patient.So until tomorrow he’s on holiday, I really hope to see him again soon when he’s back. We’ve been texting quite a bit while he was away, which we didn’t before like this. So I’m looking forward to him being home again, but also trying not to have too many expectations or hopes.
Franziska
I do know parts of the reason why my parents got divorced. They told me that they still liked each other (I don‘t know if that means thy still loved each other or not, but didn‘t question it further), but that they separated because they weren‘t happy together anymore and wanted to set each other free so they could each be happy again. They didn‘t say that specifically, but they didn’t have much in common anymore and I think they just drifted apart throughout the years.
When they were younger they had a lot of shared hobbies, went hiking together, skiing, biking, dancing and so on. They hardly did anything like that in the last few years. And even when they did, I think one of them always had to compromise and wasn‘t really happy. I don‘t know whether that happened while we were kids or later on, but I guess while my sister and I were kids, we were kind of their shared interest. We were doing a lot of things together as a family and so it didn‘t really show that they were growing apart. Now that we‘re older they might have realized that. Those are just assumptions though. But Tim actually told me something quite similar about his parents. They had already almost broken up once, when their kids moved out, because they didn‘t really know what to do with each other anymore.For myself I want a relationship where my boyfriend or husband is like my best friend. I want to be able to tell him everything and be honest to him about everything and he should be able to do the same. We should be able to have fun together, but also have serious conversations and deep talks and support each other in whatever is going on in our lives. I should be able to depend on them and know that they would always be there for me and have my back.
I want a relationship where we both have our own lives, like we don‘t have to be together 24/7 and text each other constantly, we should both have our own friends and interests and be able to do stuff without the other. Of course it is also nice when some of those interests are the same or some friends, then we can do those things together, but I think it‘s also good to sometimes spend some time apart from each other.
I do think that it‘s then quite important to spend some quality time together, especially when both are quite busy with their own lives.I do want kids later, but I‘d like to go travel before having kids for a longer time and then probably settle down and live in a house or so.
Well there is a lot of stuff I could probably tell you about what I want, but that‘s the stuff that comes to my mind spontaneously at the moment.
Franziska
It‘s difficult for me to accept it I guess. I know it‘s better the way it is right now and I know they are both happier like this. But I grew up with them together and always looked up to them as rolemodels. I always imagined them growing old together, being grandparents and living a happy life together. What they had was what I wanted for my future as well.
I think I‘m also scared that the same will happen to me.Yes I know that feeling too, I‘ve also had that situation where I learnt something new about a person and they suddenly became unattractive or I wasn‘t interested in them anymore and let them go. But so far I‘ve only had that with crushes, not with anyone I knew for a longer time and got to know quite well, like he did with Anna. But for him it might have been like that and I‘m sure he wouldn‘t have texted me that if it wasn‘t true.
Yes I think we‘ll see in the next few weeks what will happen. Tim is going to be on holiday again for two weeks with one of his best friends. Some distance to all of this stuff at home might be good for him too.
And I guess I‘ll just have to be patient. But anyways I‘m not in a rush to get into a relationship or anything. I mean of course it would be nice if it worked out with Tim (or anyone else), but it‘s not that I desperately need a boyfriend.Franziska
Well I think it‘s the best if all of us know the truth and are honest with each other. Especially if I want a future with someone, I think it doesn‘t make sense to hide anything, because at some point the truth would come out anyway. Tim also told me that he really appreciates that about me and that I‘m one of the very few people he knows who are this honest. And I also feel safe to be honest with him, I‘m usually quite nervous to tell someone this kind of stuff, but with him it‘s okay. And as far as I know is he very honest with me too, he‘s told me a lot and also told me that he doesn‘t always open up to other people like this.
Yes I think this was still a really big barrier with Anna, and now I really think that he could let go of that and now could probably be open for something else. I do think that he takes a lot of time in general when it comes to relationships and feelings, so as it took him quite a while to catch some feelings for Anna, it probably took or takes him some time to get over her and then to start something new.
Sorry about your parents as well :/ The situation with our parents is definitely not ideal, but i guess we both find it comforting that the other person truly understands the situation we‘re in. He told me that it felt good to talk to someone about it and so do I. Luckily my parents are still on good terms and we‘re still together as a family sometimes, but it‘s still not easy for me.
Actually I‘m feeling so much better now. I‘m so glad that I could finally get that off my chest instead of keeping it to myself. First the talk with Anna already made me feel so much better, where we finally really talked about everything and cleared things up.
The talk with Tim then made me feel better too, not only because i finally told him how I felt, but also because he also told me about the story with Anna and was honest with me.
Abd it really makes me happy that Tim can be happy again. That was one thing that really bothered me (when they still had their thing), because i knew that while Anna still had her other dates, Tim didn‘t like that and wasn‘t happy. Now that he could let go it‘s so much better for him. Well and of course for me too.I‘m a bit confused about how fast he now let go of Anna, like on thursday he was telling me about still having hopes with her and on sunday he texts me that he thinks that Anna doesn‘t fulfill what he would look for in a partner. But maybe that actually was a turning point for him, he‘s also been away for the weekend with his best friend, so maybe they‘ve talked about it too and that made him realize this.
And I‘m really wondering what it will be like when we do something together the next time. After our talk it wasn‘t weird or anything, but still, I‘m wondering if anything will be different now, also now that he‘s talked to Anna. I‘m not expecting anything from him though, just being curious what it would be like, or if it would even be any different or exactly the same as before.
Franziska
So again, A LOT happened in the last few days.
Tim told me that he and Anna had slept together (while they had their thing), which she didn’t tell me. So I was quite angry with her, because that meant she had lied to me, and I really don’t like it when someone does that. If I have a friend, I expect them to be honest with me, even if she did it to protect my feelings or whatever, I really thought that wasn’t correct. So I really didn’t know what to think anymore, because apparently I didn’t know about a few things that were going on between them.
I talked to Anna on Monday before talking to Tim. Things got clearer and apparently we just had quite a few misunderstandings, where I understood some things wrong and she did too. She did admit to not telling me at the beginning (she didn’t lie though because I didn’t ask her about it, but she still kept it a secret). She also told me about her new guy (and almost boyfriend), but told me not to tell Tim, because as it’s quite soon after they ended things. Also she had told him, that things didn’t work out between them, because she probably wasn’t ready for a relationship yet, which clearly isn’t true now.
Then I talked to Tim on thursday. We went for a drive to a lookout point. He knew that I talked to Anna and asked about that first. I told him that we both cleared things up and that I wasn’t angry at her or him, because it was mostly a misunderstanding. He also asked me if she said anything about him. We did talk about him a bit, but nothing major that I had to tell him. Then we went back to his place. There I started telling him about how I felt. I told him from the beginning on and that it did bother me when he said he was interested in Anna, but didn’t say anything back then. I also told him, that I felt quite bad, when I knew that Anna was seeing other guys as well next to him (Anna told me that she and Tim talked about that, so I didn’t think I was telling him anything new.) He then asked me about the guys, and apparently only knew about a few of them, so the talk turned into a bit more about clearing things up, that happened between Anna and him. He then also started telling me about how it was from his side of the story, how it all started with Anna and so on.
Then I finally told him how I felt. He said that his head was all over the place at the moment, with Anna still in his mind and his parents splitting up. (They only told him a few days ago). As my parents also split up last year (also after 25 years of marriage just like his parents) I could really understand him and his situation. The talk turned a different direction again, and he told me about them and how it was really hard for him. As it was also quite hard for me in that situation and it wasn’t that long ago since my parents split up, so I had to shed a few tears and so did he (I haven’t cried in front of anyone in quite a while). We then hugged and consoled eacher other, which was really sweet of him.
Then we started talking again about my feelings for him. He said again that I was really important to him and he didn’t want to lose me, but that he couldn’t go into anything more with me now. We decided to stay friends, but I also told him that it might not work out for me, if it was too hard for me. Of course I was bummed about that, but I accepted it for now and I also don’t want to lose him.
We then talked some more about Anna. He told me that he thought it just didn’t work out for now, and that it might work out a bit later with her, when she was ready for a relationship and so on. I couldn’t not tell him the truth, because I saw that he was still having hopes about her and that the situation hurt him like this. So I told him that she was almost in a relationship with another guy, which really surprised him but he told me to tell him about it, even if it hurt him at the moment. I also told him that I wasn’t supposed to tell him because of Anna, but that I really thought he should know.
I can’t quite remember how we ended the talk, but we were both very honest with each other and pretty much told each other everything that was going on with the whole situation in the last few months and how we felt about it.
When I was at home, he texted me that he was really glad about my honesty and that it felt really good for him to talk to me and that he really liked me a lot. He also told me that if I had anything that bothered me or I felt bad, I could always come to him and that he would be there for me. I thanked him for that and told him I wasn’t always that open with someone and he told me the same, that he wouldn’t talk to many people like that.
He then texted me that he first had to work things out with his heart (I don’t know if that makes sense in english, but that’s how we say it) and especially the thing with his parents too.A day later (friday), I texted Anna and told her about telling Tim that she had another guy. I wanted to be honest with her and tell her.
She wasn’t very happy about it, but I explained to her, that it would’ve hurt his feelings more if he still had hopes for her and only realized a few months later that she had someone else.
At the same time Tim texted me about talking to Anna. He told me that he had to tell Anna and that they had a final talk about it. He now finally had closure about their relationship and told me that now he was feeling so much better, and he could leave this topic behind, it was like a knot in his heart just got solved. He also told me that he hoped I wasn’t angry that he told her, because I told him I wasn’t supposed to tell him.
As I had a very stressful weekend I couldn’t get back to him until sunday.
I told him that it was okay and that I had told Anna myself anyway. I also told him that I was glad that he could be happy again, after this whole situation. He texted me back that I couldn’t imagine how he glad he was that I wasn’t mad at him, he was having such a guilty conscience the whole weekend. He told me that he also realized that the thing with him and Anna just wasn’t meant to be. He also thinks that a relationship between them probably wouldn’t have worked out anyways, he has realized now that she acutally didn’t fulfill many things that he would want to have from a partner. But it is how it is and he is finally in a happy mood again.He then asked me if I wanted to do something on monday or tuesday, but sadly I don’t have time because of school and exams. I think it’s going to be interesting to see him again, now that he’s finally let Anna go and that topic is over.
Franziska
He does care a lot, not only regarding this but also in other situations he looks out for me and cares that I‘m doing well.
The sex was good and actually now that I think of it, it was more passionate than the last times we hooked up. It also started differently, we were cuddling under the blanket and then he started slowly with light touches instead of jumping right into it. The times before it was more of a fast start, like a „i need this right now and I‘m really horny“ kind of situation.
I also felt that he was a bit more flirty the days before when we did something together, like he would more often touch me lightly while walking past or while watching a movie.
I feel like he could have a romantic attraction, but I‘m not sure about it and I don‘t want to read too much into it again.
I do know though that he thinks I‘m attractive, he said at the concert when someone asked why we weren‘t a couple, that I was too beautiful for him. Well and he told me before too, when we had FWB a few months ago.And yes that‘s what I was thinking too, why he had sex with me again. Of course it was late and we had something to drink, but we weren‘t drunk.
No I haven‘t told him about my feelings yet. We agreed to no FWB through text, and I didn‘t want to tell him how I feel through text. But we agreed to talk soon, also because of some other stuff that was going on with Anna. I‘m planning to tell him then.
Well who knows. I think with Tim that could very well be the case, because he does take quite a while to develop feelings and like or love someone.
Yes I‘m glad I did so too, I think for me and for Dave it‘s better like this. Yes I have actually and I did go on a few dates while Anna and Tim had their thing going on. During that time I didn‘t have much contact with Tim, so I don‘t think he knew about it. I have actually thought about dating other people, but so far I haven‘t met anyone I was really interested in.
Franziska
Okay, so A LOT has happend in the past week.
And yeah when he told me about Anna, it wasn‘t the greatest thing for me to hear, but still, at least he was honest and I know where he‘s at.
Anna told me, that she had met a guy during her holidays and she‘s meeting him quite often and likes him a lot, so it looks like she is already getting into a new relationship, things are moving quite fast for her.
I cleared things with Dave. I told him that I liked doing things with him, but that I couldn‘t imagine being anything more than friends. He actually told me that he was hoping to be more than friends, so just as I suspected. But he said he was fine with it, so I hope this is actually true. I will still keep some distance though in the next few weeks.
Tim was on holiday away with Dave then, but when he got back we planned to do our hike. The weather wasn‘t good again (it‘s raining and hailing a lot in Switzerland atm), so we changed plans and went to an adventure forest. That is a park, where you have to get across different obstacles on trees, and you‘re secured with ropes. Sometimes you have to climb and sometimes there are also ziplines for bigger distances. That was quite fun and we just got back before the thunderstorm started. Then we went back to his place to have dinner and to watch a movie.
Then on the next day, I had to work and after work I met Tim and his friend Dominic and Dominic‘s friend for the concert. It was a really cool event, the first time I was at a place like that since Corona started. As we were all vaccinated, we didn‘t have to wear masks or keep distance. During the concert we had a lot of fun (although it started raining and it was outdoors) and after the concert there was a dj in a big tent, where we danced for quite some time together.
Also, Dominic‘s friend tried to make a move on him, but he didn‘t act on it.
Quite a few people we met asked if we were together, or even said we would make a good couple 😅At the end of the night (like 3 am) we had to walk through the rain to the trainstation, where we took a taxi to his place (the concert was quite far away from where I live, so I asked him before if I could sleep at his place. And because I had a few drinks at the concert I couldn’t drive either.)
Well it wasn‘t planned, but I slept with him again. It felt right in the moment and I don‘t regret it.
The next day we slept in and watched some movies in bed until he dropped me off at the trainstation again, so I could get to a family dinner.We talked about the night too and we both said that it wasn‘t a good idea to have casual sex or be FWB again.
He told me he really liked me (as a friend) and enjoyed the time we spend together and that he didn‘t want to ruin it with a casual thing.So I‘m not sure right now, whether that means if he only ever wants to be friends and nothing more. I‘m also not sure whether he still needs some time to get over Anna and if it‘s smarter to actually build a strong friendship and then move from there (I just read somewhere that the most successful marriages start off with a friendship).
Franziska
Yes and especially my best friend’s opinion is really important to me when it comes to approving a guy. She would also tell me honestly if she thinks that someone is not a good guy for me. I have heard about the 5 love languages, but haven‘t really had a closer look into it. I looked it up quickly and I think you could be right. It‘s something he does very often and is important to him. I think my own dominant expression is quality time, which would correspond well with his actions too.
In camp Anna visited too (not at the same time as Tim) and she told me that they met at a party again a few weeks ago. After that they had some contact again, but agreed to keep it to a minimum (like once a week or even less). But Tim ended it again for good this time a few days ago, so they definitely don‘t have any contact anymore.
As Tim came back late from his trip, he couldn’t visit the camp anymore. But after I was back home, we made a little party with some friends, where he came over too. He had to drive about an hour to come there to spend like 1 1/2 hours at the party and then go home again (it was quite late when he came and I did tell him the party wouldn‘t last forever). He even drove me home then. We also made plans to go to a concert together next week, with a friend of him and maybe go hiking if the weather is good.
He also told me though, that he missed Anna, but that it was better this way. So he is clearly not over her yet and needs some time for that, which I can understand. But I‘m glad that he told me and trusted me with this.Towards me he still has gotten more responsive, texting me more often, asking me how camp was and even asking me multiple times how I was. I had just gotten my second vaccination for corona and he even gave me tips before, that i should rest and take things easy and then asked how things were going.
Well the thing with Dave is, I do have the feeling that he didn‘t quite get it. At the moment he doesn‘t text me regularly anymore, but when he does occassionally, it’s always flirty and it seems like he still wants something. And I just feel like it would be wrong of me to startoff something with Tim (or even try to) as long as it‘s not clear with Dave. It wouldn‘t matter that much to me if they weren‘t close friends, but I think Tim would also think less of me, if Dave still thought he had a chance with me and that things weren‘t over while I was already trying to start something with Tim. I don‘t know if that makes sense, but I couldn‘t describe it better in English.
Franziska
That would really match his statement, that he is really slow with developing feelings and all that stuff. I think it‘s easier for him to develop a friendship first and then decide if he wants more, just like it was with Anna as well. Maybe when we had FWB it was going too fast for him, or it was a overwhelming when i told him I could already imagine more with him.
I didn‘t even have to remind him of the ice cream he said he would bring to my camp. He texted me on his own and came over last night. It seemed like he didn‘t even have much time (as he is going away for a few days on a trip he still had to pack and do laundry and other stuff around the house), but he still came for a short time to stop by. He even brought a bottle of wine for us leaders and brought vanilla coke and my special drink (something I mentioned before, he really pays attention to details).
The kids really liked him and also my friends thought well of him, it was the first time he met my best friend and some of my other friends.
He texted me afterwards that it was a nice visit, and that he would like to come again and spend some more time. So he might come again towards the end of camp, when he’s back from the trip.Thank you for those tips, I will definitely keep them in mind when I ask my hairdresser.
So this weekend his holidays started and he has two weeks of holidays. I have holidays as well (from studying) but I work occasionally at my job at the supermarket, I still have a few days off though.
So I‘m going to talk to Dave in a few days again to make it all clear. I waited that long so I can do it in person, and there won‘t be any misunderstandings. I really want to have this all cleared up and do it correctly, because they are still close friends.
Franziska
I haven‘t really used any of those huts yet either, but I also think they are a good thing, especially since the weather in the mountains can sometimes change quite fast and it can get dagerous very fast too.
Also it‘s a good way, when you want to go on a longer hike, you don‘t have to do it all in one day, you can rest for the night and then go on the second part of your hike the next morning.Yeah he did text me a bit after the hike, which he didn’t do much before. But only for a few days. On snapchat it stayed pretty much the same as before the hike. But still more than when he was still interested in Anna, like I wrote a few days ago, he replies more often, reacts to my stories or asks how a trip was.
Yes that‘s what I feel like too, it‘s very effortless when I‘m with him and time usually flies by. I don‘t have to worry about anything with him, like I don‘t have to worry about awkward moments or that something could go wrong.
He asked me on a spontaneous trip again today. I actually didn’t expect him to ask so soon, because he had quite a busy week and was away all day yesterday too. We walked to a small lake (about an hour) and sat down there and talked for a bit, walked around the lake and had something to drink. There were also little boats you could rent and we both said it would be really cool, but we didn‘t have enough time left. He suggested we should just go back there soon to do that. He didn‘t use to do that either when we went somewhere together or when I said something like „we should come here again“ he would just say something like „yeah we‘ll see“.
We also had a pretty fun time, teasing each other and play fighting on the way back down.
After the trip we went to have dinner with his friend/roommate at the best burger restaurant in my hometown amd he drove me home.And yeah I will remind him about the ice cream.
No, i haven‘t decided that yet. I‘m planning on going to my hairdresser and let her give me a few options on what colour she thinks would fit my type and what wouldbe best to not damage the hair too and then I will decide on one. I just know I don‘t want anything to bright or outstanding.
Oh and after the camp Tim has holiday from work and so do I. So I hope that we‘ll be able to spend some time together then.
Franziska
The hut is acutally a safety hut or shelter hut (don’t know if there is a specific word in english). It has a few mattresses and blankets, a table, an oven, plates and cutlery and some firewood in it. It is always open and accessible for everyone, so if you have to stay somewhere in the mountains or get stranded, you can go there. Normally you’d have to bring your own food, but when people have too much, they leave it up there for the next ones. Ususally stuff that doesn’t expire fast, like canned food or noodles or rice. So we were quite lucky, that a few people had left food before.
There is no electricity up there, so in the evening we had to light some candles to actually see something and then used my phone flashlight together with a waterbottle as an improvised lamp. To cook we had to use an old stove where we had to make a fire with the wood to get it warm. There is also no water in the hut, we had to walk to a river and fill up some plastic water containers from the hut. Then we boiled it to make sure it was free from any bacteria.
As far as I know, they trust people to leave the hut clean and that they put everything back to how it was. Only every few months someone goes up to check on everything and maybe fill up the firewood or throw away expired food. Probably more often in the summer, when more people go there, than in the winter time.
But this is the only hut like this that I know of. Most of the huts that I know in the mountains are run by someone, so there is actually someone there who looks after it and makes the beds and stuff and they are usually bigger too. This one was tiny, not much more than about 7-8 matresses in one room, and the stove/oven, table and some food in the other room.Haha I was actually thinking whether I should have gone over to him on his mattress or not, because I would have liked to acutally. But I’m still glad I didn’t.
I think I like him more for a few reasons acutally. First of all, the whole trip was so easygoing, there was never an awkward silence between us or that we didn’t know what to talk about. We had fun together but also some serious conversations.
Then he was very caring, when he was walking in front, he looked back and asked if it wasn’t too fast. He also helped me across a river and gave me his hand (this was very scary, there was quite a lot of water and the rocks were slippery. He is very tall, so he could walk across the rocks, but I had to jump, which I probably wouldn’t have dared to without his help). When he drove me home, it was raining heavily again, and instead of stopping at a parking spot (where it’s much easier to stop and let someone out), he drove me right in front of my house, so I wouldn’t have to get out in the rain for long.
As a last thing our conversations. On saturday he told me about Anna, which I really appreciated that he was honest with me and he told me on his own about it. And on sunday we talked about quite a few similarities that we share, that I think are important, especially for a couple. For example that we both wouldn’t like to live alone, we like to have people around us and to be active, do something outside in the nature. We are also both uncomplicated when it comes to making decisions and think it’s necessary to make compromises. We also both think it’s very important to have friends and do stuff with them. There were a few other things, but I can’t remember all of them right now.Yes, still thinking about colouring my hair, but I’m going to wait at least two weeks. I’m a scouts leader, and we have a summer camp next week, so there is no point in getting my hair nicely done and dyed before that.
By the way Tim also said he would come to the camp and bring some ice cream or so for the children if I wanted. He already said that though before when he was still interested in Anna.Franziska
Yeah me neither, it was a really unexpected turn of our planned hiking trip.
I do like him more now. Although it was a less than ideal situation, we made the best out of it. It was so uncomplicated and easygoing with him, like we would do a thing like this every weekend. And it felt like we could work together quite well, helping each other out with chores and other stuff.
Haha I tried to flirt a little, but it was actually quite difficult, as there was so much else going on. Like while hiking it wasn‘t really possible, as we had to walk behind each other most of the time. In the hut we first had to figure out where everything was and how to cook and get warm. In the evening we had some moments of physical contact, just short moments where we got a little closer, but still closer than I would get with just a friend.When we talked about Anna, he told me that he had really liked her, but that she told him it wasn‘t going to be more. This bothered him and so they ended it. I don‘t think he knows about the other gusy Anna has dated, but didn‘t tell him either. He seemed to be quite okay with it, of course it bummed hin out, but I don‘t think he will lose much more thoughts about her.
He did tell me about Dave though. I‘m still texting Dave casually, not wanting anything from him. And I actually met him on friday before I went on the hike with Tim, just for a drink. But Tim told me Dave was still interested in me.
I had told Dave that I didn‘t want to date him, but seeing him as a friend was okay, but apparently he still has a bit more interest. So I wanted to clear things with Dave first and make it clear that we wouldn‘t be anything more than friends, before I started anything with Tim. Thinking back to friday he did make a few comments about Tim and I going on a hike together, that then seemed like a bit jealous to me. And I know that he already didn’t like it when Tim and I would do stuff together before I was texting Dave (back in January until March).
So I didn‘t go to Tim on his mattress, because it just didn‘t feel right with everything else going on and not being cleared up yet. Also he once told me, that he couldn‘t cuddle with a friend without anything happening. So I didn‘t want to be in that situation where something would possibly happen, first of all because of Dave and second because I didn‘t want anything to happen so that we would be in a FWB situation again.I don‘t know about his other friends, but I feel like he tells me quite a lot of stuff and trusts me. At night he told me about Anna and also anout his plans for the future, how he would like to get married and travel for a while and have children. His plan is/was to do that quite soon (he’s almsot 25 and wants to be married by like 30 or so). And the next day while walking down he told me a lot about his job, his possible further education and how he is unsure about it. How he is scared that it wouldn‘t work out or he couldn’t do it.
At lunch we talked about his living situation, his friends and our beliefs, and he said to me, that we‘re actually quite similar with our thoughts and beliefs about a lot of things.
So I hope to clear things soon with Dave. He hasn‘t texted me again though since last weekend, I‘m not sure if that has a reason, but either way, I want to make sure that this is completely over, just to avoid hurting people, especially because Tim and Dave are still good friends. I guess it‘s also better not to see or text Dave for a while probably after this.Haha yes I think so too. I guess that is also something you learn on the job, the more dou have to deal with difficult parents or parents in general, the better you know how to deal with them.
Franziska
I‘m very aware of that too, that‘s why I‘m driving really carefully. So far it‘s going well, it‘s not difficult but I‘m still very slow in curves or narrow roads, because I don‘t want to risk anything.
So Tim and I went hiking, which was quite an adventure. We started around lunchtime and planned to walk up to a little mountain hut. This would have taken us 4 hours up and then about 3 hours to walk down.
But after about 3 hours of walking up, it started raining. As the weather forecast didn‘t predict this kind of weather, we weren‘t really equipped for it. Additionally we had to walk thorugh some snow fields. So we decided it was too dangerous to walk the long way down again and instead walked about 45 minutes to the hut for shelter. It was a very hard ascent, as it was hard to walk in the snow and getting cold with the rain. We were both really glad when we arrived in the hut.
We decided to stay for a while, and as the rain didn‘t stop we decided to stay there overnight. There was no power, light or running water, but some food and an oven.
To get a bit warmer, Tim made fire in the oven and I chopped some firewood. Then we walked to a river to get some water. Afterwards we cooked dinner on the oven and drank some wine (Tim had brought it with him for us to drink before walking down). As there was no cell phone reception we also couldn‘t call or text anyone, so we spent the evening talking and carving our names into the wood of the hut (as many other people did before too). He also told me about the situation with Anna and that it was over with her.
We slept on separate matresses, but he told me that I could come over if I was cold.
The next day, the weather was better luckily and we could make our way back down again. It took us a bit longer, because Tim likes to take pictures with his camera.
When we got down, he invited me to lunch and we talked for a while again, before he drove me home.
He sent me some of the pictures and he took quite a few of me too.
We are planning to do something again soon.Yes I think the parents will be the most challenging part too. I‘m actually taking a course next semester to learn how to deal with difficult parents the best.
Franziska
Yes that is the same here. Also stores for bicyles and motorcycles made so much more profit and lots of people started getting active. Me too actually, I bought a motorcycle last year as well and learning to ride it at the moment.
Haha yes at least I try to not read too much into it and getting my hopes up. Yes and I‘m not quite sure yet what exactely I would do. I don‘t want to end up im the same situation again, that‘s for sure. So friends with benefits is definitely not an option for me. He doesn‘t give off that vibe at the moment anyway. Last time when we were texting and snapping before we had the FWB, he made much more sexual comments or replies, this time not really.
I also don‘t know when or whether I should tell him about how I feel. I mean if it comes up in a conversation I don‘t really want to lie, but I also don‘t want to scare him off and be too much with my confession.I‘m most interested in the younger grades, they are usually still very motivated for school and love to learn new stuff. Here in Switzerland the teachers are paid okay, but still it‘s a hard job and lots of people don‘t appreciate it, they think we have a lot of freetime and holidays where we don‘t do anything. But so far I really like it, and I can‘t wait for my studies to be over.
Franziska
Yes and I do really appreciate it, especially now, when I couldn’t travel because of Corona, I got to know quite a few new parts of Switzerland. I love to explore new places here and make trips around my home.
So we made plans for next saturday, fingers crossed that the weather will be nice too. I’m really curious how it will go, and also a bit nervous. I’m also curious whether he will tell me anything about Anna or not, so far I only heard it from her, that they are not in contact anymore. Since he stopped talking to Anna, he started snapping me more often again and also asks more questions or reacts to pictures I send. It was also my birthday last week (I turned 23), and he remembered it and texted me. We didn’t usually text much, except to make plans. This time he actually made an effort and asked questions and we kept texting for a few days.
I don’t know if this means anything and I don’t want to read too much into this, but those are just small changes that I noticed in the last few days and weeks.
I will also try and be a bit flirty and try to play out your tips. Might watch another movie for inspiration before 🙂I am studying to become a primary school teacher, got one year left now until I’m done. I really like it and can’t wait to start working as a teacher soon. To earn some money while studying, I’m also working at a supermarket one day a week and during school holidays.
Franziska
