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To be honest is killing me. It hurts I want my marriage, My life now but better. I can’t afford to live the life o have now on my own I’m terrified. He’s supportive which isn’t surprising He’s getting what he wants. I overshared yesterday and talked way too much h about my feelings so things are a bit awkward right now but he’s willing to help me to get in the position to find a home. I just need to dissappear for a while and get my head in the right space. I’m being cordial but I really don’t want to talk to him or anyone for that matter. I hate this is happening but I’m trying to remain grateful for the obvious growth and potential happiness that can happen one this pain passes. But my goodness his hurts.
Thank you. I am moving into the 2nd bedroom tonight. I applied for a home loan today. I’m making the needed moves. Thank you for your advice.
Thank you for your feedback. I beleive you may be right and here’s why. Throughout this process I’ve truly tried to focus on me and how Ive possibly aged our Relationship I’m how Ive communicated
Gotta focus on what I can control right. So once again Today I went with him to finish his car purchase. On the way.. I asked if he mind I’d I made a stop to deal with a matter that could result in a refund of my tuition. He said yes we should take care of anything that’s gonna bring more money into our house. I then drove him to the dealership but pretty much stayed outside while he made his purchase. Once he bought the car he asked me to ride with show his parents the car then mentioned we could go to dinner to celebrate. On the way to his parents he asked me what did I think about having a house warming soon. I asked what made him think of this now he said he thinks it’s time. He went on to talk about who we would invite from my friends and his. I listened but what stood out the most is our anniversary is in May and not one time did he mention it only the housewarming. It felt friendly, he seems excited and even accommodating. When I told him the i can’t make original date he chose because I’ll be out of town for.my friends birthday he said no problem just chose day before our anniversary. Throughout the day he continued to call me babe. Still a bit distant, no real physical interaction, just words. And while I’m not mad I am a bit disappointed and really just over the emotional roller coaster. I honestly feel myself checking out. I don’t want an artificial relationship. I thought about being patient. This a was a major milestone and he told me he feels very confident and proud of his decision today. He’s on cloud nine right now so I know better than to bring any of my concerns to him but I don’t believe this will last. I’m kinda getting what I asked for and now as far as him communicating with me, being nice acting as if he at last likes me but… idk kinda irritated. Mainly because I don’t know that it’s real or where it’s going or will it change tomorrow and I’m just tired of caring. Is it possible this is a legit change in direction or should I just stay the course of working on an exit strategy?Thank you for your response. He tells me I second guess him a lot. So you may be right. It’s not intentional I feel as though I ask questions just to better understand. I guess I should just trust that he can make a sound decision on his own and roll with him for a change. I have difficulty trusting him on social media. He’s in a lot of groups that I perceive as single groups. It’s been hard getting past the infidelity. We’ve gone to counseling where his issues with ptsd we’re diagnosed. The counselor basically said I have to make a choice, trust him or leave but I can’t keep bringing up the past. So I chose to forgive and and to move forward. Since then I’ve asked questions about things I see on social media and he shows me to try to prove its harmless. (Think I just noticed how bad this is🤦🏾♀️) I don’t really ask questions when he leaves out or hangs out with friends because I do want to respect the fact that he’s an adult and should be able to come and go as he pleases.
As for trust in other areas, even though I made the most money on paper, He’s always had my back if money issues came up. He would truly make a way out of no way so I absolutely trust that he will take care of me and anything needed in our household. Before he mentioned the separation this last time I felt as if I could tell him anything and not be judged. He’s been my best friend in that way. As for doing things, I think I learned from the training that I need to exhibit more patience. In the past if I ask him to do something and he doesn’t do it right away I get frustrated and maybe even start nagging or just do it myself. But on Sunday, I invited to help me clean the basement since we both want to start using the home gym. I waiting for him to respond. He said yes and did a great job. He was open to work on the relationship, he told me that what he going through are his issues and he just needed to figure them out. But last week he said he doesn’t love me as a wife anymore he love me as a friend and he’s sure he wants a separation.
We live together and sleep in the same bed. It’s now kinda awkward and just hurtful for me. I guess what give me hope is he still cooks me breakfast, wants me to watch movies with him, cuddle and wanted me to go with him to buy a car today. I even attempted to stay back and let him make the decision all on his own but he kept asking for my input. He called me babe when talking to me when we were on the test drive. It felt really good. I honestly think he made a great decision and I made sure I told him that. The night actually ended pretty good, today was probably one of the best days we’ve had since he asked for a separation.Update. He asked me today why I fighting so hard. I haven’t responded because I’m kinda mad he asked. But then he came home from work early and asked me to come watch a movie with him. Then asked me to go to the car dealership with him as he’s trying to by a third car for himself. My head is spinning. Please help.🤦🏾♀️
