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Yes thanks so much for everything and my
complicated situation lol! At this point im not gonna reach out to him anymore since he’s been ignoring me. Whenever he wants to act like an adult we can talk about it. I would like to say exactly that to him. But we will see what happens. Im just ready to move forward.It’s frustrating knowing that I put alot of effort into this. I’ve been there for him and supported him with his business and helped out as much as I could. I’ve been patient with him for 5 months and saw him whenever it was convenient for him. But he just doesn’t understand how it makes me feel. The one day that I go out and have fun, he’s making me feel bad about it. All I wanted was for him to make time for me and fullfill what I want. In a perfect world I just want to be with him but I can’t continue to get hurt again.
Hey so i’ve been okay so far. I’ve spoken
with him again and told him I just wanna be friends and not be sexually involved anymore. He agreed but I could tell it made him kinda sad. So far were still talking but communication hasnt been the same. I normally havent gone out because I always spent my weekends with him but this past weekend I decided to go out with a guy friend. He’s someome ive known for a while and it was nice to have fun. However, I forgot to return Danny’s phone call back and texted him that I would call him tomorrow because I went out. I posted a video of my night on social media and he saw it. Long story short he was mad at me the next day. I called him and he kept making comments and asking questions about my night out with my “boyfriend”. I ended up getting off the phone with him because it was frustrating. He kept saying things like “ It’s weird that im going out all of a sudden “ and “I never returned his call because I was out with my new boyfriend “ . It’s frustrating because he thinks im dating other men but at the same time he never put in the effort to make it work with me. We haven’t spoke since then but I really don’t care to. It just makes me want to go out there and date even more. It’s been bothering me for the past couple of days since I do care about him but I’m so mad at the same time.Yes he said he wanted to plan something with me after the event he’s planning for his business next month. But im kinda over it and just want to be by myself for a little bit. After that talk we had, our conversation hasnt really been the same. I was kinda afraid to let it go because im just tired of men walking out of my life and having to repeat the process again. I always wanna make it work and save the embarrassment of having to tell my friends who doubted it in the beginning. In the past i’ve always tried to make it work in relationships even when it was toxic. I guess it comes down to self love and past hurt. Yes I care about him but im just tired of getting hurt. Im trying to stay positive but its so hard.
Hello so I have an update! I spoke with him last night and I said basically everything we discussed. I talked about my love languages and how I would like to see him more and go on dates.I told him the way that we are now Im not happy with it and comfortable. He said the way that his life is right now, he’s not sure if I would be happy with him. He said we could go on a trip or a date but he can’t guarantee he would always be consistent. He said he wants to be in a serious relationship with me but he doesn’t know if he can give me the time that I want and if he would even be a good bf to me. He said he values me and wants me in his life but he would have to understand if I decide to move on. I’m honestly still very confused because I do like him alot and want him in my life but i know it would only hurt me if I choose to stay in this. He said he would want to make it work but he doesn’t wanna force me into something Im not happy with.
Hello, yea i do believe it’s important to express my wants and needs. I do need to go over what exactly I want and need lol. I feel like I have stalled because I dont wanna get hurt. He says he likes me and cares about me all the time but I just dont see it. He’s always open about his feelings and tells me about his next business moves and future plans but he never talks about future plans with me. I feel like there’s hope but then I feel like he won’t be able to give me what I want since he’s always venting to me about how he doesn’t have any time for anything. But ill work up the courage to have this discussion and tell you how it goes. Thank you!
Thank you for responding. You made some really good points and opened my eyes a bit. I remember in the very beginning we talked about our love languages and I set boundaries for myself but i found myself breaking them more and more to accommodate his busy life. I was thinking of just leaving him but I do like him and care about him so I would rather have a discussion with him first. But yes i do need help with exactly what to say. I dont wanna come off too aggressive.
Hello, sorry I haven’t been on here. So alot has happened since then and I feel like it’s not gonna work out with him. Although we still talk everyday, I still cant seem to make this relationship progress or us to go on dates. Were not officially together but i feel like he probably thinks he doesn’t have to put in any effort. We tried to plan a few dates but he ended up canceling because of work and he would just want me to come over and spend the night with him. I feel myself doing gf duties and being there for him to help out with his dog if he’s not home to walk him. Or making him breakfast in the am when I sleep over, cleaning up,giving him advice and listening to his problems . I feel like he loves talking to me but im not being full filled in this relationship. I celebrated my birthday a few weeks ago and had dinner with a few friends and invited him. He was supposed to be my date and drive me there but he was late due to work and he didn’t get me anything . He even forgot to wish me
happy birthday the morning on my birthday when he called me and remembered later on. I didn’t think too much of it because we’ve only been dating for 4 months but it still left a bad impression for my friends. I’ve been patient with him and even suggested we do something relaxing like a walk or go to the park but he always has to reschedule. I recently went on a girl’s trip and had allt of fun. It felt nice to actually go out and have fun since he always wants to see me every weekend. I could tell he was jealous because of the cute pictures I posted and he didn’t get to see me that weekend. He called me everyday on the trip and wanted me to come back. I’m just so confused on if he’s just keeping me around just because or he genuinely wants to be with me but he’s too busy. Yet im afraid to ask because i dont want him to reject me and i’m left feeling used once again. He recently started a new position as a coach at a private school plus his coaching business on the side so i’m not sure if i’ll ever get to spend decent time with him.But I did take some time from dating to deal with my insecurities and focus on myself but since I met him I feel like he’s bringing more out that i didn’t know I had which I wasn’t sure was a good thing or bad thing.
Hello! Thanks for your response. Thats a good idea as far as the dates part and Im happy you are able to relate to his schedule so I dont feel like im overreacting haha. But I was thinking we could probably cook something together or maybe a drive in movie . But he always says that once this event is over he will have more time to do things but im happy that he likes me enough to fit me in.
As far as my insecurities and feelings Im thinking of maybe doing therapy because its something deeper that I feel like I have to address. In my past relationship I always felt that I was needed but I was really taken advantage of and used whether emotionally, financially and then to find someone that is confident in himself and an alpha male , he doesn’t need me at all or ask for help lol he just offers help to me which is so weird so its kinda hard for me to adjust to that. I kinda shared with him about my childhood and how it affects me today with relationships and he gave this meditation book that I might read too. So its alot of self healing I gotta work through.
Also i feel a bit intimidated by him because im used to dating men that need me or bums basically haha. Even though I have my degree and he helped me find a good job, im not used to talking to a man that’s doing way better than me or more goal oriented. When i wrote out and prayed for my perfect man it’s scary because it’s him and I still feel like im not enough for him . We talk everyday and he never misses a day and he asks me about my day and we just talk and talk for hours.He’s very open when it comes to his life and his feelings about me, yet I still feel insecure or scarred from my last relationship. I feel like he wouldn’t care if we stopped talking or he could just ghost me out of nowhere because any woman would be happy to have him. Sorry im just venting lol
He’s been planning this football event for the kids he coaches so that they can connect with different recruiters and colleges so his focus has been that and trying to promote his business. He includes me in his plans and wants me to be there for him and everything but I just want us to actually spend more time together and focus on us . I know he doesn’t do it intentionally but its kinda frustrating
Hello, so everything is somewhat okay. He’s becoming more and more busy because his business is starting to pick up. I know that he cares about me because he tells me and our communication is very consistent.I see him every weekend but I still have an issue with us actually going on dates instead of me just coming over . I kinda mentioned it to him
but as a suggestion and he said he was fine with that but we haven’t planned anything yet. Our schedules kinda conclict so we can only hang out on the weekends which is fine. But lately he’s been attending events and training kids on the weekends to promote his business (He’s a trainer/ football coach) and most times when i see him afterwards he’s too tired to do anything so we end up staying in. I dont feel like a priority in his life because he’s so focused on that and it’s kinda frustrating because I like him and want it to work. I haven’t brought it up because were still very freshly dating and I don’t want him to feel like im making him
choose his livelihood over me . Maybe im overthinking?That sounds good. I did see him over the weekend and i slept over again but we talked for a while and he told me that he really likes me and wants this to turn into something serious.We talked about what we wanted in the future and our feelings towards eachother which made me feel more at ease. I didn’t really get into expressing how I want him to take me out more and everything. I dont know why but i will try to incorporate this statement when I talk to him in person again. Thank you!
I guess my question should be, how do I get him to fit me in his busy schedule?How do I get him to take me more on dates? He wants me to come over whenever he comes home from work and spend the night and cook breakfast for me. He even bought me a pillow and my favorite blanket which is cute but were not even in a relationship yet and i dont want him to get too comfortable with me doing that all the time.
