[Faith K]

Well… he was acting weird with texting and I asked him. “Is the texting what’s making it so awkward but you’re responding because you don’t want to be rude?” and he said “yeah kinda lol” 🙂 ouch.. I really think maybe ignoring him is my best bet. Its an emotional tool.

[Faith K]

I know I shouldn’t but can you recommend a text I could send him? I don’t know. I texted him a few times already. It was pretty bland..

[Faith K]

Also.. we became friends again I think. He’s not a mean guy like I said so I apologized for being a pain in the ass and said that I never really experienced this before and he said it was okay. I waited awhile then I texted him about the whole vaccine, and a tv show. He replied kindly. I know my one friend had a crush on a guy she knew for dour years and once had part-taken in sexual actions years ago and recently became his friend again. He came to her because he was sad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. What I don’t understand about this man is that he told her he didn’t want a relationship and that he wasn’t interested but yet in a car ride he flirtatiously joked around saying “well now you can do whatever you want to me” and he knew she was in a current relationship that was struggling. She didn’t know what to do and then he called her as well. After all this time he didn’t like her. Why would a guy do that? Do they just not want to be known as the bad guy or something?

[Faith K]

Thank you.. thats what my mom has been saying. I know its repetitive and stupid but to an extent It is myself for prying.. anyways can I have advice on how I act around him? If hes friendly do i be friendly? Do I keep it short and sweet or completely avoid him? I dont know how I will be able to shut out his humor.. and like whenever I laugh at his jokes he will laugh a lot more with me but he doesn’t do it with others,.. some lady said he probably does like me he’s just content with his life how it is now…

[Faith K]

Im in the workers bathroom crying. Brians not a mean guy. People are saying that they think he had to get mean to get the message through my head and thats so.. so.. so… so… so… so.. embarrassing. If I leave him alone for a few months and maybe slowly start to talk do you think he would like me again I did permanent damage one lady said that I can’t fix it. I wasnt clingy with the guy I swear I literally didnt text him for five days and I dont respond asap either… Im.. so embarrassed I just thought he was making an excuse. I don’t know how I can fix this and this one lady said I can’t. And now I miss being his friend and its only been a fucking night. I feel relieved but stressed, happy but sad, i laugh, then i cry. I hate messing up so badly and I blew it big time to the point of no return i think. I just want to find a way to return. I dont know how

[Faith K]

Right now Im getting ready for work (he doesnt work today) Im just so embarrassed that he snapped I didn’t mean to hound him and I just want to cry. I got so confused by what he was doing. If I had sex and regretted it and didn’t like the person why the hell would I be having conversations with them and texting them daily? How could I not occasionally bring it up? For godsake this guy did a 360 within a month and is saying it “just isnt there” what? And then he says bootycall? I mean when I was with him he was like “next time we’ll do this and that” am I making myself so available that it drove him away and just made him hate me? Idk if I should just apologize in person or wait until he speaks to me if ever. and I wonder if he’d ever like me again but push those thoughts away because of what I put him through. I know the guy is a complete mess but hes really sweet and awkward and cute and just I wanted to make more memories and this whole talking at work and laughing just messed me up and for him to say “are you sure you get it?” hurt. I look pathetic. I could have roasted him alive but I didn’t want to. I just wonder if he’s ever gonna get another girl to his house with the isolated way he lives. He’s not my type. I have a guy I want to be serious with and I’m practically with him but the guy at work has me just baffled I really need someone to help me and thank you for the help thus far..

[Faith K]

Haha I have a longgg story for you..and Well funny you say that because I was responding to an email a ton of times then realized that I go to this form to respond because I forgot lol………. so uh yeah me and him actually got mad at eachother for the first time 🙂 lol. I did just want to have fun with him and honestly you’re right. I mean Ive asked so many of peoples advice. Only those I trust. A few guy co workers said that I could have anyone and one said that he thinks saying chemistry was just an excuse. So im thinking “okay, okay maybe I just ride this out.” It was like the sixth day texting him and a week of talking and laughing with him and we brought up video games. I said I wanted to see his one game and he said maybe. I joked around saying that I took it as a yes then he just made it awkward. I just couldn’t handle it and was straight up.

Here are the texts:

Guy: Ugh but whyyy???(hes referring to me asking why I won’t give up) Lol…. and scorpion is ed Boons favorite character too lol so hes always badass….since day 1

Me: Why I can’t give up? It just doesn’t make sense logically..
I mean.. having sex 8 times in one night you kinda need chemistry for or at least the eating out bit even if that has nothing to do with it we kept hanging out after..Then it seems like thoughts just kept growing deeper and it all stopped. I don’t mean to be blunt it’s just stating facts. Its what happened. I just have to be honest and say I never met a guy like you so I don’t think I’ll ever really stop having feelings or some type of hope. I don’t mind being friends.

And I can’t argue with that..Guess that means Scorpion can be the best guy MK character and Cetrion can be the best female MK character.. at least she can grow her own lemons and make lemonade. Self efficient..

Guy: Just having trouble seeing what I’ve been trying to tell you with the chemistry thing…. or you dont want to see it lol just saying…. and ummm alright works for me

Me: didn’t know what to see because I was getting advice from others I guess and got more than one interpretation. You asked why.

Guy: From who? Lol and idk what to tell you faith

Me: So you could kinda say that the only reason why we texted and had a friendship was because I texted you and in reality if I just stopped it’d be like nothing I guess.

Guy: Well the first part yeah…. no offense but I wasnt even thinking about it what so ever…. You’re cool and fun… but it’s not there faith I’m sorry
It’s as far as a booty call and that’s not fair to you… you deserve better

Me: See so you can’t say that I was trying to see it. When I was there you’re like “next time we can do this” with games and movies. Not really what you would expect. And you didn’t call me up. I came to you.

Guy: ….whatever
Guy: We’ve been over this….it seemed like you understood and then it just went right out of your head

Me: Excuse me but I actually do understand. No Im telling you dont do that shit to someone so it isn’t their head and it leads to them investigating to this point. I was giving advice

Guy: Alright faith

Me: well you said whatever so I got defensive.
Me: I get it

Guy: Do you?
Guy: I mean….we are having this conversation right now

Me: Actually it could have ended on what I last sent. I didn’t have plans on texting you again after this lol. And by the way understanding and giving advice are two different things. Hot head.

Guy: 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️…. whatever you say faith

Okay so heres in the text I decided to be annoying and make myself laugh :

Me: well now I kinda wanna have the last word so stop texting ty

Guy: *Sent a thumbs up*

(then for giggles)
Me: See thats still a text

And well. There you have it. I think he mistook my prying for obsession in which I am totally obsessed I mean I am legit paying for you and youre the best lol but I genuinely just didn’t understand how a 34 year old man who hasnt had sex in 5 years and was unable to create that bond with someone and yet Im not up to his standards? I mean the dude keeps his highschool trophy’s on his wall. Like I thought Id be a catch. A lot of guys were like “a guy will say anything to get what he wants” then I told them that he said these things after I gave him it and they were so lost. Dude almost said he loved me for gods sake. But omg I dont know how im gonna handle this hes so cute and funny i literally dont know how to get away do I act mean do i show im okay do i stay in the shadows what do i do? And im actually.. really.. really hurt.. that all this time It really was a one sided friendship I kinda want to cry. It meant nothing.

[Faith K]

So after all this time, all the loving things hes done and the compliments and now hes talking to me again but told me there wasn’t chemistry? I just don’t understand. Its messing with my head because he likes talking to me and its the worst thing because I enjoy it and like him all over again and we text ugh! just ugh!

[Faith K]

So sorry but what is the average response time?

[Faith K]

I am on track with what you’re saying. I deleted the messenger app that we usually talk on but admittedly I haven’t deleted the number.. if he ever actually needed something or whatever it’s there? Ugh. I’m sorry I know you are right but I figured I’d try to contact you back daily just to keep up. I feel like if I don’t I’ll slouch back into the OCD routine and stop being strong but you’re helping me to prevent that.. Its bugging me so much not to redownload the app and see what he responded to my text.Which was recent about 2 days ago(Basically asked him how bad working weekends are) I don’t even know what happened I think three days ago I cracked and texted him that one day he was cute after we talked all day at work.. I think I came on way too strong at work pushing for something that was once there and made it so obvious and pathetic .. but I know WHO CARES.. bad guy. But honestly Im not the best person either but anyways I’m so jumbled up. I suppose I don’t need anymore advice.. just some will power. Wish it was like it was the first time.. I liked being his friend. What I really want to know is if we can get along would it hurt me less to just completely avoid him? Its so sad because when he’s there work goes by almost instantly and then.. when he’s not its so incredibly slow and I need to learn to get over it. So ignore him but be kind? Be brief if he approaches me? If he actually makes an effort I should kindly reject? Im thinking of all these hopeful scenarios with a guy who really is bottom of the “totem pole”. But I don’t know what he’s gone through? It is odd that many men his age already have a family. He told me he gave up hope and one of my friends suggested that is a huge thing so you can’t really expect him to have feelings. But he once did? Again I know it’s wrong and stupid. The thing is I’m starting to overthink. So basically I forgot if I mentioned it or not but the day/night after he told me he wasn’t as interested anymore he sent me a song by “Disturbed” Talking about remembering good memories and when you’re down you’re okay and move on basically? I sorta think that’s weird? Thats weird right? Then something in my mind is like “Oh thats so sweet he cares about my feelings” and then im like.. what am I thinking?? This must be long to read but hopefully I make it sound a bit entertaining? Thanks for being there.

[Faith K]

You’re really nice thank you.. And honestly I am so lost because I have this one guy in my life who would do anything for me. And thats what im looking for..I mean anything and everything but I’m not 100% physically attracted to him.. at least I don’t get the butterflies I want but I KNOW butterflies usually lead to bad things!!But ugh right now in this early stage of life thats what I want in a guy! I know this one saying it goes something like “Find someone with beautiful eyes because as we age that’s the only thing that stays the same” Maybe its strange but I thought of my best friend with that saying. I just want to explore so badly and wait. But I mean this man actually wants to live with me? And spend time with me? And.. take me out to dinner? I have to say, I never really had a connection like that.. where someone cared as much as I do about them. I just am sad because I dont even really like kissing him. But in the end when we’re old looks dont matter I want to grow old with him because in the end I could care less I want to be with my best friend like the old couples who hold hands at the grocery stores. But.. I have severe OCD, I mean it runs in my family and it’s very severe so for instance I get so mentally addicted which makes it so so much harder at work with the older guy. You’re very kind and you are helping me a lot.. I just find it funny that after 6 times of hanging out just NOW he thinks Im too young which is why Im very suspicious considering we talked and looked at each other all day TODAY!! and he is very cute and kind but that just makes it so so much worst so are you saying I should not talk to him? He’s just very talkative and it’s very hard to move on when you hear his voice and humor everyday. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt I really really do because I don’t know their life, I am a mess myself? But.. you really make the point clear. Thank you

[Faith K]

last thing if i want to make things different should i talk to him kindly and stop texting or just ignore him all together

[Faith K]

Also.. I was kind of the one who seduced him.. he would always be kind and flirt with me and we’d texted so I took it to the next level and it was so great I heard him say I lov- then I said what? And he said nothing. Then just stopped getting turned on? He said it wasnt me that it was because its been a long time.. but it happened all the time..

[Faith K]

First off- you’re awesome.. Thank you, many others said the same… but its not only that.. he works at a minimum wage job which isn’t bad but his boss is literally people he went to highschool with.. and he actually wasn’t always drunk the first time we met he was. Then we hung out many times.. I just want him to like me. I dont know if its something I did? Thats the whole thing. Like the head kisses? Holding hands and cuddling? Playing games? (By the way he plays games all day his room is full of beer cans, and weed and clothes and trash everywhere.. ALSO !!! I was his first IN FIVE YEARS?!? What man doesn’t have sex for five years? He said he had a bad experience with someone a long time ago that made him give up hope.. I thought him sharing that with me made him feel close to me.. he’s strange.. didnt even bother to flush the toilet when I was at his place. He doesn’t want anyone to know he was with me because Im young but honestly I think thats an excuse because Maturity and age are VERY DIFFERENT THINGS we have a 34 y/o singing the mickey mouse song at work but IM too young for him? My Goodness.. Its just.. do you think hes going through a cycle and it will ever be the same friendship again. Red flag as in hes coocoo ?

[Faith K]

Oh AND he stopped working with me. He used to be on the floor when I was now on days im on the floor alone and he exports am I supposed to maybe be kind and grab his attention at work becaus we never talk we kept it on the down low or just be nice and invisible at my best

[Author]

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