[Liza L]

Hi Heidi and Coach Spyce,

It has been a while. There are times I miss him. We talked but it’s mostly I ask, you answer type. But letting go of the stress was liberating.

[Liza L]

Thanks for the nice words, Spyce and Heidi.

You guys made me realize he is not worth chasing after all. I really liked this guy but the way he has been with me while this tells me how it will be in the future.

[Liza L]

I messaged back “???”, he didn’t read it after 2 days, and still no reply until now. Nevermind, if he doesn’t text, then he won’t. That means he is not worth my time.
Thanks a lot for your advices, Heidi.

[Liza L]

Hi again,

He just messaged me and said he is tired of little games. I don’t know what happened but he said that is the last message I will receive from him. And asked not to contact him. He said it’s time for a good detox from everyone.

What do I do?

[Liza L]

Yes!!!!! I’m refreshed 🙂

Thanks, Heidi

[Liza L]

Thanks, Heidi.

Like right now? The phone call happened the other day. I think it’s too soon. Sorry, I wasn’t giving time frames. I pretty much get the idea – let him know I still exist. Sending him a funny photo without expecting an answer. I’m thinking next week is just nice, right?

[Liza L]

There was a lot I had to apologize for, like my burst of insecurities and the snooping.

So Here was my text: Look,I’m sorry I let my insecurities get through me and became wanting and possessive. That was over the line. As for me snooping, I have opened the accounts of everybody involved that night you told me. That was that, I never looked up in other platforms. Yes, I followed the story but I let go off of it when you got mad. For all those, I apologize and I own up to it all. I also understand that I can be a suspect for that tiktok fiasco, but I can assure you that I will not do anything that would cost you your job, in tiktok or in a project and humiliate you in the process. I hope you will be out of this predicament soon though.

There was a phone call after that, we sounded like old friends again and he told me the whole of the story. Admitted to being involved with a girl and another (unknown) girl is jealous and posting stuff in social media, etc. And I just listened, didn’t ask questions. And in the end, We agreed for the time and space until we have both cleared our minds.

[Liza L]

I got it. Thanks, Heidi!

[Liza L]

Oh right, he asked for a space and time. That’s what I am giving him.

[Liza L]

I have apologized, I have explained why and he was angry then. He understands now. That his head is clear.

There was no closure, we still talk a little, but not as deep as what we have been talking about before.

[Liza L]

Thanks Heidi.

I get all you are saying. We have not talked a lot since that incident and I am letting it be. He answered some short texts (questions) from me but that’s it, no real connection.

I will have to wait til he initiates contact. Right? But what if it takes too long? Do I have to initiate it, like, in a month? Or a special day?

[Liza L]

Or I will just leave them to it coz it is not my issue after all?

[Liza L]

Yes, there is a lot to learn about him as a person. I know the physical attraction is there and is mutual because we get intimate.

I look up to him as a person who has dreams and goals and he knows how to get there. This is why I said I look up to him. He is way wise (in life) for his age. As far as our interests are concerned, we have similarities. We also see life in different angles but in the end it’s the same. These make me feel and think that he is a good guy to have a deep relationship with.

But as for now, like we have said, I will focus on self love. And the question now is, how can I assure him that I am not that girl in social media who terrorizes him/and the girl. I was not confronted directly, but the fact that he mentioned that “I followed the girl 3 times” gives me a clue that I am a suspect. This really bugs me as I find it the whole thing cheap, and I am not cheap.

[Liza L]

Thanks, Heidi.

That makes a lot of sense. I actually am doing self healing now. A lot of hurtful words have been said and I own up to it. I shouldn’t have “snooped” and released my baggage in the first place.

You see, even though he acted like an ass; first for having another girl and second for treating me that way, I wanted to see if I can still reconnect back to him. I see him as a great guy to have a deep relationship with and I look up to him very much. I think at this stage, we both have the insecurities that is why we are where we are. Not now, but later when I have cleared my mind and all the hormones stop acting up.

Love, Liza

[Liza L]

Thanks, Heidi.

We are friends who are flirting and each other’s confidant. We tell each other personal things and honestly, that was when I thought we are dating. Apparently he sees it as just telling his thoughts. We get intimate when we hang out when we have the chance.

So the social media mash-up is one of those personal things we talk about. He said he is messed up but unlike his other stories, it was lacking details for me to have a comment on. So while we were talking and trying to understand how bad the situation was, I opened the account. I saw how deep the shit he was in and made comments. I asked who was who because he never told me about them. I got curious so I followed everyone involved. I was eaten by jealousy at that point because I thought we are dating.

I am now mending myself and have started to distance from him. We sometimes talk but they are short and civil. I admit I have been insecure about myself and know that this has to change.

I hope after the healing process he sees me again as a woman worth knowing. And I hope this all happens soon.

Love,
Liza

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