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Hi Heidi,
Hmmm, I feel like checking in about how he feels goes against everything I have been reading in the books I’ve purchased from this forum and the previous advice I was given here. If he is not ready and still reflecting on how he feels. This could potentially push him away farther. Am I wrong in feeling this way?
Hi,
Sorry I may have not made sense in my last post. I didn’t plan to reach out on my birthday. I was considering reaching out after that if I had not heard from him. He did send me a funny animal meme on social media yesterday. Which is something we use to send to each other frequently.
I can be okay with not knowing. I just sometimes worry he is waiting for me to show him how I feel or waiting for me to reach out. Since earlier I mentioned he said “you know I have always wanted this is to work, right?. I’m looking for feelings and attention. Having space doesn’t mean not talking. The biggest thing I didn’t feel I was getting was attention.” He said this a few weeks ago when we seemed to be back on track. I don’t want to be hurting the situation by giving him too much space. I also don’t want to not give space. Does that make sense. His mixed signals are what are confusing to me.
Hi,
Just checking back in to get your thoughts on my situation. It has been 2 weeks since he last text about his animal having surgery and checking in on me with my ill family member. 3 weeks since I sent the text saying I was going to give him the space he needed. 4 weeks since we had that intimate week. 5 weeks since the original split. I miss him so much. He is the love of my life. I’m still so confused about that Intimate week we spent together and everything he told me. The intimacy. Saying he loves me and he has always wanted this to work. So confused how he split things off then kinda jumped back in with me and then pulled back. My birthday is next Tuesday. I’ve been telling myself not to contact him until then. I’m hoping he will reach out on that day. I did sent a funny animal video this past sunday, which was something that was recommended earlier…but not to reach out more than once a week. He liked it, but no other reaction. I want to give him space and I keep waiting for the rubber band to snap back, but I am worried that he might be waiting on me. Since earlier I mentioned him saying (the week we were intimate) that he was enjoying attention and affection from me as that is what was missing for him. I am still working on myself, but as more time goes by without hearing from him I worry. If I don’t hear from him on my birthday, should I take that as a sign? Or what if he just sends a generic “happy birthday!” text. Not sure how to take that or respond. I so badly want to tell him everything I have realized lately and how much I’ve been working on myself, but I don’t want to push him away. I want to respect the space he needs, but a few days after the original split he said space did not mean not talking. He said he did not know what he needed when he originally cut things off, he just knew he needed thing to be different and he was looking for feelings and attention. I mentioned all this earlier, but am so confused by the whole situation and what I should be doing. Thoughts?Hi Heidi,
Great to hear your thoughts on the positivity of his last text!
I have joined two groups focusing on how to be the best version of yourself. One focuses on practicing daily rituals to enrich your life (Breathwork x 10min a day, spiritual-inspiration reading x 30min, movement for 20min, shutting off phones 1 hour before bed, writing down 3 things in grateful for daily, 5-10min of metitation) This class is 75 days. My other group meets once week and we have a different weekly self improvement assignments. I actually signed up for one of these classes a week before we split. As I had a awakening what I had done the past year. Being stuck in a negative trauma cycle with my illness. My health has improved greatly this past year, but mentally I was stuck. I’m definitely seeing a shift with doing all this work and it is so exciting! I feel I’m opening a new chapter in my life. I’ve also gotten back to going on hikes weekly as well. Really using this time to work on me.
He did send a text me a few days later to let me know he was taking his pet to have surgery. Then sent text updates on the recovery a few times that day and the next day and it was ended it an upbeat joking manner. That was last Wednesday. should I be doing anything else? And should i be still sticking to the same plan of letting him contact me? I have definitely been working on myself in my free time. This is all so scary at times.
Hi,
I took your advice and sent this via text.
“
I’ve been thinking a lot about all the words I shared had with my grandmother over the weekend. It has really put things into perspective and is definitely making me want to live life a different way. This past year was awful for me and you stood by me through it all. I really appreciate you and all you have done for me.
Have a good week! 😉”He liked the message and replied “Have a good week too!” So now I could use advice on what to do next or perhaps I am playing the waiting game.
Thanks for all your help!
Hi Heidi,
Thank you for the text advice. You don’t think sending a text of that nature will make him think I’m trying to pull him back in? But rather, just letting him in on a new revelation I have had due to recent events.?
I did recently joined a 6 week program focusing on all things mindset related, self awareness and discovery, and how to be your best self. He is aware of this and knew I signed up right before he broke things off.
Thank you for the recommendation, I will look her up.
I wish I knew what he needed to come back and feel safe. Maybe it’s taking his time? I think I know what to do if he comes back as far as showing attention, being present, and showing my affection. Until then I’m not sure if there is anything I can do other than give him space.?
Hi Heidi,
Thank you so much for your reply. I think he needs time to figure out if he wants to move forward with our relationship. I was in a funk this past year and was not present. I have realized I let my health struggles and the heaviness of the world weigh me down. He did not tell me this was the problem, but after self reflection it’s crystal clear I was not present at all and not like myself. He tried so hard this past year and felt I didn’t. He did tell me he was looking for more feelings, attention, and affection. He also said he needed for things to be different than they were the past year. Since our break or space I have told him all my realizations and what I want to do to make it right. So I think he is processing all that and trying to figure out if it can work. I am using this time to focus on myself.
He did reach out today. A family member of mine is about to pass and he caught wind of this. He text me he was sorry and hoped I was doing okay. I sent a short thank you text back. I am prepared to give him time. I know his brain works differently than mine. He is definitely a critical thinker. I am confused if I should reach out after a certain amount of time. Or if I should send fun flirtatious simple messages every now and then. He stated he was enjoying all the affection from me that one week we spent together after our part. He told him it felt like he stepped back in a time machine to when we first met and that is what he has been wanting. I am confident I can be that person again. I just did not see how I was being this past year. I was stuck in a cycle or grieving.
